# Most Over-the-Top Morality Fable for Children or Teens **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 18, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139 "2010-11-18T20:14:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/1 "2010-11-18T20:14:49Z")
The thread about Health Class films got me thinking. What was the most outrageous (or memorable) morality tale for kids that you can remember? It can be a movie, TV show, or book. The stupidest anti-drug story I’ve seen was a book in the “Sweet Valley High” series called “On the Edge”. Most of it wasn’t even about drugs. Most of it was typical “you stole my boyfriend!” claptrap of a lot of young chick lit. Young girl is betrayed and winds up with _bad boy_, who introduces her to (gasp!) _beer!!!_ And at the very same party where she has her first beer, some others let her do two lines of _ **cocaine!!!** _ Whereupon she has an immediate heart attack. The next couple of pages have dialogue that is so Victorian, it’s laughable. As her brother leans over her, she gasps delicately, “You…were always…such a good brother…” Little Eva’s death scene, anyone? Now that I think about it, there’s plenty of other equally lame cautionary tales out there. What are some that you fondly remember? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/2 "2010-11-18T20:17:19Z")
[Refer Madness](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reefer_Madness). What do I win? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/3 "2010-11-18T20:22:05Z")
I see your Reefer Madness, and raise you a [Struwwelpeter.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter) ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/4 "2010-11-18T20:25:51Z")
No, I win: [Boys Beware!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijbovskICjk) ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/5 "2010-11-18T20:30:33Z")
Close, but the winner is Jesse Spanno’s incredibly hilarious and badly acted “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so…scared!” breakdown on Saved by the Bell. ETA: [Link](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/6 "2010-11-18T20:32:17Z")
Back when I was a kid, in the early Seventies, there was an incredibly hokey single called “Once You Understand,” by a studio group called Think. For three minutes, a group of kids sang over and over, “Things get a little easier… once you understand.” As they sang, you’d hear the voices of stereotypical conservative parents screaming at their kids “Get a haircut, you hippie.” “Clean up your room, you slob!” “When I was your age, I had a job and helped support my family.” At the end, a policeman comes to tell one of the mean parents, “Your son is dead. He died of an overdose.” Moral for Moms and Dads: NEVER make any demands of your kids, NEVER tell them what to do, or they’ll start shooting heroin and it will be all YOUR fault! ---
**Author:** ![TheMerchandise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@TheMerchandise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMerchandise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/7 "2010-11-18T20:35:19Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Close, but the winner is Jesse Spanno’s incredibly hilarious and badly acted “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so…scared!” breakdown on Saved by the Bell. > > ETA: [Link](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c) I like to reenact this scene during spontaneous room-wide silences at parties. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/8 "2010-11-18T20:36:33Z")
Mazes & Monsters was pretty bad. After seeing it, my husband’s mom threw out all his D&D books many of which had been signed by Gary Gygax! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/9 "2010-11-18T20:39:29Z")
I recall once, browsing in the remainders at a bookstore, I came across a collection of stories in verse called [_From Bad to Worse._](http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Worse-Silly-Tales-Verse/dp/B001M5PESK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1290112670&sr=8-2) One story was about “The Scissors Man,” a bogeyman who appears in a puff of smoke before a small boy sucking his thumbs, and cuts off his thumbs. Of which eventuality the boy was warned many times by his parents, if he would not quit sucking his thumbs. Significantly, this all happens _as soon as his parents leave him alone._ I think this counts as a [Family Unfriendly Aesop.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyUnfriendlyAesop?from=Main.WarpedAesop) See also [Disproportionate Retribution.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DisproportionateRetribution) ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/10 "2010-11-18T20:41:04Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > The thread about Health Class films got me thinking. What was the most outrageous (or memorable) morality tale for kids that you can remember? It can be a movie, TV show, or book. > > The stupidest anti-drug story I’ve seen was a book in the “Sweet Valley High” series called “On the Edge”. Most of it wasn’t even about drugs. > > Most of it was typical “you stole my boyfriend!” claptrap of a lot of young chick lit. > Young girl is betrayed and winds up with _bad boy_, who introduces her to (gasp!) _beer!!!_ And at the very same party where she has her first beer, some others let her do two lines of _ **cocaine!!!** _ Whereupon she has an immediate heart attack. > > The next couple of pages have dialogue that is so Victorian, it’s laughable. As her brother leans over her, she gasps delicately, “You…were always…such a good brother…” Little Eva’s death scene, anyone? > > Now that I think about it, there’s plenty of other equally lame cautionary tales out there. What are some that you fondly remember? Don’t forget that Regina was DEAF from her mother taking DIET PILLS while pregnant, and Regina was so beautiful she was a MODEL, but turned down a career in modeling because she was SMART. I still love and re-read my SVH collection. Have you read any of the college years ones - now there’s some pretty heavy-handed morality tales, now with actual sex and employment and marriage! ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/11 "2010-11-18T20:44:07Z")
[Go Ask Alice](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_Ask_Alice) was probably the most over the top that I encountered. ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/12 "2010-11-18T20:44:57Z")
Sex ed class at my (Catholic) high school. We watched a video about sex starring Whoopi Goldberg. I don’t believe Whoopi Goldberg advocates abstinence, but her appearance anywhere in a movie about sex certainly makes a compelling case for it, lol. We got to watch the first part, where these two friends play hoops, and one tells his buddy about his genital warts, replete with super close up photos. But then when Whoopi began telling us that sex can also be enjoyable…wham. Power off to the VCR. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/13 "2010-11-18T20:47:12Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I see your Reefer Madness, and raise you a [Struwwelpeter.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter) Dammit. I was going to post that. [In high school, we had a band and the lyrics for our songs were taken from the Struwwelpeter. Yes, we were a strange bunch. 😃] ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/14 "2010-11-18T20:48:12Z")
I haven’t read the comic in a while, but apparently in Runways, Victor pirates some music and as a result two of his friends are killed when a plane crashes into their house. Beat that! ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/15 "2010-11-18T20:52:25Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > Have you read any of the college years ones - now there’s some pretty heavy-handed morality tales, now with actual sex and employment and marriage! No, but I’d love to hear about those! Can you describe one? ---
**Author:** ![Freud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/779978/32.png) [@Freud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freud)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/16 "2010-11-18T20:59:15Z")
This thread is killing me - I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. > [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Young girl is betrayed and winds up with _bad boy_, who introduces her to (gasp!) _beer!!!_ And at the very same party where she has her first beer, some others let her do two lines of _ **cocaine!!!** _ Whereupon she has an immediate heart attack. I’m saying “…some others let her do two lines of _cocaine_” while whispering the “cocaine” part like the mother from St. Elmo’s Fire. **This:** > [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Close, but the winner is Jesse Spanno’s incredibly hilarious and badly acted “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so…scared!” breakdown on Saved by the Bell. **followed by this:** > [@TheMerchandise](#): > > I like to reenact this scene during spontaneous room-wide silences at parties. made me accidentally pee a little. I have no clue what you look like, but I don’t care…picturing anyone doing it is hurting my sides. > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I came across a collection of stories in verse called _From Bad to Worse._ One story was about “The Scissors Man,” a bogeyman who appears in a puff of smoke before a small boy sucking his thumbs, and cuts off his thumbs. Of which eventuality the boy was warned many times by his parents, if he would not quit sucking his thumbs. Significantly, this all happens _as soon as his parents leave him alone._ HILARIOUS! At first I thought it was going to be something about running with scissors (the man who ran with scissors is now a lady), but it’s so much better! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/17 "2010-11-18T21:06:21Z")
From the 1982 made for TV movie “Desparate Lives”: [I’m Invincible!](http://vimeo.com/5192480) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/18 "2010-11-18T21:08:38Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I recall once, browsing in the remainders at a bookstore, I came across a collection of stories in verse called [_From Bad to Worse._](http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Worse-Silly-Tales-Verse/dp/B001M5PESK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1290112670&sr=8-2) One story was about “The Scissors Man,” a bogeyman who appears in a puff of smoke before a small boy sucking his thumbs, and cuts off his thumbs. Of which eventuality the boy was warned many times by his parents, if he would not quit sucking his thumbs. Significantly, this all happens _as soon as his parents leave him alone._ I think this counts as a [Family Unfriendly Aesop.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyUnfriendlyAesop?from=Main.WarpedAesop) See also [Disproportionate Retribution.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DisproportionateRetribution) > [@Miller](#): > > I see your Reefer Madness, and raise you a [Struwwelpeter.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter) And, what do you know . . . > [@](#): > > In “Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher” (The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb – lit. The Story of Thumb-Sucker), a mother warns her son not to suck his thumbs. However, when she goes out of the house he resumes his thumb sucking, until a roving tailor appears and cuts off his thumbs with giant scissors. ---
**Author:** ![AutumnLeaves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@AutumnLeaves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AutumnLeaves)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/19 "2010-11-18T21:09:13Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I recall once, browsing in the remainders at a bookstore, I came across a collection of stories in verse called [_From Bad to Worse._](http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Worse-Silly-Tales-Verse/dp/B001M5PESK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1290112670&sr=8-2) One story was about “The Scissors Man,” a bogeyman who appears in a puff of smoke before a small boy sucking his thumbs, and cuts off his thumbs. Of which eventuality the boy was warned many times by his parents, if he would not quit sucking his thumbs. “The great tall tailor always comes. To little boys that suck their thumbs”. That’s Struwwelpeter right there, though apparently repackaged. My mum would often use episodes of Full House or the like as a springboard to important, serious chats with my sister and I, about peer pressure and smoking or whatever. However, I remember distinctly catching the above mentioned Save By the Bell pill breakdown and her just laughing away at the ridiculousness of it and mocking the hell out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139/20 "2010-11-18T21:10:35Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I recall once, browsing in the remainders at a bookstore, I came across a collection of stories in verse called [_From Bad to Worse._](http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Worse-Silly-Tales-Verse/dp/B001M5PESK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1290112670&sr=8-2) One story was about “The Scissors Man,” a bogeyman who appears in a puff of smoke before a small boy sucking his thumbs, and cuts off his thumbs. Of which eventuality the boy was warned many times by his parents, if he would not quit sucking his thumbs. Significantly, this all happens _as soon as his parents leave him alone._ I think this counts as a [Family Unfriendly Aesop.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyUnfriendlyAesop?from=Main.WarpedAesop) See also [Disproportionate Retribution.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DisproportionateRetribution) That was originally from The Struwwelpeter. Long out of copyright, so I’ll reproduce it here: > [@](#): > > The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb > > One day, Mamma said, “Conrad dear, > I must go out and leave you here. > But mind now, Conrad, what I say, > Don’t suck your thumb while I’m away. > The great tall tailor always comes > To little boys that suck their thumbs. > And ere they dream what he’s about > He takes his great sharp scissors > And cuts their thumbs clean off, - and then > You know, they never grow again.” > > Mamma had scarcely turn’d her back, > The thumb was in, alack! alack! > > The door flew open, in he ran, > The great, long, red-legged scissorman. > Oh! children, see! the tailor’s come > And caught our little Suck-a-Thumb. > > Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go; > And Conrad cries out - Oh! Oh! Oh! > Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast; > That both his thumbs are off at last. > Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands, > And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;- > “Ah!” said Mamma “I knew he’d come > To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb.” The best part is the bit of maternal sympathy at the end … 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-over-the-top-morality-fable-for-children-or-teens/561139.md?page=2)