# Most pointless song covers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780 "2005-04-23T18:31:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/61 "2005-04-25T21:39:01Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > That’s a special case. Her version of \*American Pie \* is so bad that it’s GOOD. No it isn’t. It’s so bad it sucks goat ass. ---
**Author:** ![Waterman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Waterman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waterman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/62 "2005-04-26T04:04:43Z")
After making several posts regarding past sinners and thinking about the comments of others, I would conclude that Madonna’s “American Pie” would certainly be at the top of the list; however, the two artists who, in my opinion, have done the most to perpetuate the art of “bad” covers (or just bad songs) would be Whitney Houston and Barbra Streisand. Streisand started out very nicely but became a parody of herself with her endless string of celebrity “duets”. And speaking of “celebrity duets”, Sinatra ended his career by doing, not one, but two CD’s full of absolutely horrendous “cover” duets with other celebrities. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/63 "2005-04-26T04:06:15Z")
> [@Waterman](#): > > And speaking of “celebrity duets”, Sinatra ended his career by doing, not one, but two CD’s full of absolutely horrendous “cover” duets with other celebrities. Which still isn’t half as creepy as Natalie Cole’s pseudo-incestuous musical necromancy… ---
**Author:** ![Waterman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Waterman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waterman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/64 "2005-04-26T04:58:56Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Which still isn’t half as creepy as Natalie Cole’s pseudo-incestuous musical necromancy… TOUCHE! ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/65 "2005-04-26T05:13:09Z")
I came in here to post Ms Ciccione’s soulless and pointless desecration but I see that’s been well covered. But in the \*REALLY? \*category surely the winner is **Klaatu** ’s _Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft_ by … **The Carpenters**. ---
**Author:** ![Waterman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Waterman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waterman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/66 "2005-04-26T05:31:32Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > I came in here to post Ms Ciccione’s soulless and pointless desecration but I see that’s been well covered. > > But in the \*REALLY? \*category surely the winner is **Klaatu** ’s _Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft_ by … **The Carpenters**. The what you say? When was this done and what (in general terms) is this song about not knowing anything about KLAATU though I admittedly recall the Carpenters. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/67 "2005-04-26T06:46:11Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I am not a violent man but Gwen Stefani’s versions of _If I Were a Rich Man (Girl)_ makes me want to kill somebody. I second this. That song is horrible on _so_ many levels. :mad: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/68 "2005-04-26T07:00:22Z")
I am surprised no one has mentioned 311’s completely unnecessary, boring version of “Lovesong” (originally by The Cure). It was easily the most pointless cover song to burn up the charts last year, which doesn’t surprise me. ---
**Author:** ![Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/69 "2005-04-26T13:48:57Z")
I cannot believe nobody mentioned the no-talent twit Jamie Cullum. His version of Radiohead’s “High and Dry” is just an insult to every piano-player, musician and music-lover. What he does is he takes a song, plays it badly on the piano, while moving as if he is trying to make sweet, sweet lurve to his piano and calls it jazz. If that is Jazz then Cole Porter made trash-metal. I even heard some DJ on the radio announcing his admiration because he played a bit on the piano with his face. Now **I** really want to play piano with **his** face. This song seriously makes me want to hire a hitman. That kid should have his nails pulled out and his finger broken with a sledge-hammer for his contribution to today’s “pop”-music. (Wow, vitriol enough). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/70 "2005-04-26T14:24:57Z")
> [@Mona Lott](#): > > Michael Bolton’s cover of **When A Man Loves A Woman** is so horrific it needs to be mentioned again. It should be legal in each of the fifty states and all the territories for anyone encountering Mr. Bolton to slap him for this unnecessary remake. Actually, it should be legal to slap him each time he opens his mouth and tries to sing. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/71 "2005-04-26T15:28:03Z")
Thanks, **Lamia**. That info makes me feel better about Pearl Jam. The most pointless, useless cover ever is Jessica Simpson’s cover of Berlin’s _Take my Breath Away_. It’s a copy of the original, with no change in arrangment, key, tempo or any aspect of the song. Why do a cover if you’re not adding anything to it? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780/72 "2005-04-26T15:51:16Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > Thanks, **Lamia**. That info makes me feel better about Pearl Jam. > > The most pointless, useless cover ever is Jessica Simpson’s cover of Berlin’s _Take my Breath Away_. It’s a copy of the original, with no change in arrangment, key, tempo or any aspect of the song. Why do a cover if you’re not adding anything to it? Heh…the running joke around here when that came out was that nobody else had done as much damage to Berlin since 1945… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-song-covers/300780.md?page=3)