# Most pointless warranties? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 14, 2018, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919 "2018-10-14T02:12:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/1 "2018-10-14T02:12:40Z")
So at some point I’m browing through some old papers at home and find the warranty card for my mother’s burial vault. Seems that it is guaranteed to not leak for something like 100 years. I thought this was pretty much a risk-free guarantee to make for the company–how many people are going to dig up their ancestors 99 years after the burial, find that the bones are water-damaged, and _demand_ restitution from the vault manufacturer? Anyone run across any equally pointless warranties? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/2 "2018-10-14T02:19:18Z")
Well, impermeability works both ways. If you are walking through a graveyard at night and get attacked by zombies, maybe the vault manufacturers are liable? ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/3 "2018-10-14T02:51:01Z")
There’s probably a zombie exclusion clause. Most contracts have one, right after the sanity clause. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/4 "2018-10-14T03:40:56Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > There’s probably a zombie exclusion clause. Most contracts have one, right after the sanity clause. You can’t fool me. There ain’t no Sanity Clause. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/5 "2018-10-14T03:45:10Z")
I always liked the lifetime warranty concept that defines “lifetime” to be the lifetime of the _product_. So that would be right up until it breaks, presumably? ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/6 "2018-10-14T03:54:49Z")
I bought a car many years ago that came with the full guaranty. If it broke in half I’d get to keep both halves. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/7 "2018-10-14T17:43:49Z")
My mother is gullible and gets talked into signing up for crap. E.g., she was paying for one of those idiotic “credit protection services”. I read the warranty. It only paid compensation if someone bypassed the things the software was monitoring. I.e., if the software did _nothing at all_, they’d never have to pay up. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/8 "2018-10-14T18:01:49Z")
Not exactly pointless, but Office Depot offers a warranty on nearly all their products. The only it does is make me wonder about the quality of their products. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/9 "2018-10-14T19:06:18Z")
Apparently, whoever makes the pots used at Olive Garden considers the warranty void if you boil salted water in it. Which is why [Olive Garden does not use salt](https://www.businessinsider.com/olive-garden-still-wont-salt-pasta-2016-4) when boiling pasta. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/10 "2018-10-14T19:49:21Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Not exactly pointless, but Office Depot offers a warranty on nearly all their products. The only it does is make me wonder about the quality of their products. Speaking in general terms, those product warranties are one of the best ways for a store to make money. It’s like insurance–if the company wasn’t making money, they wouldn’t be in that business. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2018, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pointless-warranties/822919/11 "2018-10-14T19:51:35Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > Speaking in general terms, those product warranties are one of the best ways for a store to make money. It’s like insurance–if the company wasn’t making money, they wouldn’t be in that business. When a salesmen gives the me the pitch on this, I always tell him that the reason I won’t buy it is because of how keen he is to sell it to me.