# Most pretentious rock songs

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [November 1, 2014, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266 "2014-11-01T14:07:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\
**Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/81 "2014-11-04T23:58:18Z")

</div>

> [@dracoi](#):
>
> … Actually, there’s something attractive to me about a song that is unabashedly pretentious. It takes balls to attempt something like that …

Discretion is the better part of valor.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\
**Post date:** [November 5, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/82 "2014-11-05T00:30:43Z")

</div>

Rage Against The Machine. It’s their on-the-nose “Wake up Sheeple!” type-lyrics that grate:

_I walk the corner to the rubble, that used to be a library  
Line up to the mind cemetery now!_

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\
**Post date:** [November 5, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/83 "2014-11-05T00:38:38Z")

</div>

Is there room in this thread for a little _ **Sister Christian** _ hatin’?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\
**Post date:** [November 5, 2014, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/84 "2014-11-05T00:52:15Z")

</div>

Surely there’s room in this thread for Talking Heads.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\
**Post date:** [November 5, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/85 "2014-11-05T01:21:06Z")

</div>

[Bon Jovi’s “Runaway”.](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bonjovi/runaway.html)

Heard it on the radio today and laughed myself silly. Basically, some girl ran away from home because daddy didn’t talk to her enough, and that’s why she’s a hooker. :smack:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\
**Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/86 "2014-11-08T08:09:34Z")

</div>

When a hair band or arena rock band who usually sang about groupies, tattoos, or tattooed groupies got political, it always got pretentious.

Poison, “Something to Believe In”  
Motley Crue, “Time for Change”  
White Lion, “When the Children Cry”  
Warrant, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” (their self-proclaimed effort at serious songwriting)  
Tesla “Signs”  
Guns N’ Roses “Civil War” (Axl speaking “what’s so civil about war anyway?”)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\
**Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/87 "2014-11-08T08:42:30Z")

</div>

I think the most complimentary thing I’ve heard about Dream Theater (decades ago now) is that they were really tight. Maybe not Ramones tight, but very tight for prog, I suppose.

I once bought one of their albums, and I sold the CD to a used record store after…one listen? It was lyrically pretty dire. So I figure that’s whom you must beat.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\
**Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/88 "2014-11-08T11:41:03Z")

</div>

> [@Koxinga](#):
>
> Surely there’s room in this thread for Talking Heads.

Nah, Talking Heads had a sense of humour and a wicked rhythm section.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/89 "2014-11-08T14:28:12Z")

</div>

> [@syncrolecyne](#):
>
> When a hair band or arena rock band who usually sang about groupies, tattoos, or tattooed groupies got political, it always got pretentious.
> 
> Poison, “Something to Believe In”  
> Motley Crue, “Time for Change”  
> White Lion, “When the Children Cry”  
> Warrant, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” (their self-proclaimed effort at serious songwriting)  
> Tesla “Signs”  
> Guns N’ Roses “Civil War” (Axl speaking “what’s so civil about war anyway?”)

Oh man, good call. :smack:

Extra debits against the Warrant song for appropriating a book title for a song that had nothing to do with the book, and against the Tesla song (and it’s a cover!) for inadvertently kicking off the wretched “Unplugged” phenomenon that bedeviled MTV for most of the 90s. :mad:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\
**Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/90 "2014-11-08T22:16:38Z")

</div>

That’s why I still like Paul and Jacko. Stick to silly love songs.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/91 "2014-11-09T04:44:44Z")

</div>

I can’t believe no one has yet mentioned “MacArthur Park”.

“Someone left the cake out in the rain,  
I don’t think that I can take it,  
'Cause it took so long to bake it,  
And I’ll never have that recipe again!!!”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/92 "2014-11-09T06:22:22Z")

</div>

> [@leftfield6](#):
>
> I’m not a Bob Seger fan but I’ll take Turn the Page as an example. Don’t care for the song but I would not call it pretentious. It was written at a time when Seger was not a household name or big star. The life of a traveling artist who was drawing small crowds was not glamorous.  
> \<snip\>  
> He was writing a song about being an outcast ( the long hair comments) and the intrinsic loneliness of playing to small anonymous crowds.  
> \<snip\>

Wow, that’s really an interesting point, Leftfield. “Turn the Page” and Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” always struck me as the songs that wreaked of pretense (pretension? pretentiousness? hypretension?) above all others. So I’ll give the championship belt to Bon Jovi.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/93 "2014-11-09T10:05:35Z")

</div>

> [@Roadfood](#):
>
> I can’t believe no one has yet mentioned “MacArthur Park”.
> 
> “Someone left the cake out in the rain,  
> I don’t think that I can take it,  
> 'Cause it took so long to bake it,  
> And I’ll never have that recipe again!!!”

That’s not pretentious, it’s just ridiculous.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/94 "2014-11-09T12:34:38Z")

</div>

Here’s a question: Dostoevsky dealt with The Big Questions of life, death, God, etc., in most of his works. Does anyone call him “pretentious”?

Beethoven’s work was often long, bombastic and complicated. Not everyone loves it, but does anyone call Beethoven “pretentious”? No.

It’s fine to deal with big issues and to write complicated music, PROVIDED you’ve got genuine insights, genuine interesting ideas, and interesting music.

If you DON’T have the intellect to say something new, relevant or meaningful about the big issues, then you WILL sound like a pompous, pretentious twit when you try to write songs about them.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/95 "2014-11-09T14:03:27Z")

</div>

> [@astorian](#):
>
> Here’s a question: Dostoevsky dealt with The Big Questions of life, death, God, etc., in most of his works. Does anyone call him “pretentious”?
> 
> Beethoven’s work was often long, bombastic and complicated. Not everyone loves it, but does anyone call Beethoven “pretentious”? No.
> 
> It’s fine to deal with big issues and to write complicated music, PROVIDED you’ve got genuine insights, genuine interesting ideas, and interesting music.
> 
> If you DON’T have the intellect to say something new, relevant or meaningful about the big issues, then you WILL sound like a pompous, pretentious twit when you try to write songs about them.

And pop music (three-minute songs with fairly strictly prescribed instrumentation and structure) is really not the best vehicle for trying to address the Big Questions…unless you are a once-in-a-generation talent.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/96 "2014-11-09T14:49:37Z")

</div>

> [@GrumpyBunny](#):
>
> Rush gets bonus pretentious points for using “one” in the song instead of the more prole “I”.
> 
> _One must put up barriers  
> To keep oneself intact_
> 
> The English major side of me likes it; the regular side of me thinks it’s hilarious.

While I think the song doesn’t score a zero on the pretentiousness scale, I don’t think using “one” is pretentious. The lyric is describing putting distance between yourself and others, so I think it’s appropriate to use “one” since it is also distancing. Clever, even.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/97 "2014-11-09T14:56:44Z")

</div>

> [@OneCentStamp](#):
>
> And pop music (three-minute songs with fairly strictly prescribed instrumentation and structure) is really not the best vehicle for trying to address the Big Questions…unless you are a once-in-a-generation talent.

It’s a bittersweet symphony - that’s Life. You try to make ends meet, try to love somebody, then you die.  
It’s a tough question. Sure, Dostoevsky and Beethoven rock, but there are plenty of Russian novels and classical symphonies that could be considered pretentious.

Look at jazz pianist Art Tatum - dude could outplay anyone, anytime. He put lead fills on top of his lead fills and had 3-5 ideas going at once. But while a lot of folks don’t like his rococo approach, or think he’s exhausting or overly busy, few call him pretentious. Why? I have no fuckin’ clue, but I assume that most folks can hear that Art Tatum the purest of talents and not some overwrought navel-gazer.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/98 "2014-11-09T15:02:17Z")

</div>

> [@Penfeather](#):
>
> Pink Floyd’s Welcome To The Machine, on the other hand, ought to be beaten with sticks: kindergarten lyrics complaining about how much being a fabulously wealthy rock star in the 70s sucked, set to seven minutes of soporific blues noodling.

Up until now, I always thought that it was about someone who was fed dreams of being a rock star, but failed and so had to go to work literally at a machine (i.e. factory,) in addition to the metaphorical sense of machine. This is enhanced by the shift whistle/mass of people at the song’s end.

The song captures the essence of a meaningless work/life, and the accompanying music perfectly captures the feeling as well (the harsh if not industrial keyboard effects representing the machine playing off of the soft acoustic guitar sounding like broken dreams). But knowing that it was meant to be about a successful rock star, I’d have to agree that it’s pretentious.

“Have a Cigar”, on the other hand, is one of the few songs about how much being a rock star sucks that I don’t dislike. Since anyone can find that they’re being asked to ride the gravy train by opportunistic cynics, not only musical artists.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/99 "2014-11-09T15:06:17Z")

</div>

> [@WordMan](#):
>
> It’s a bittersweet symphony - that’s Life. You try to make ends meet, try to love somebody, then you die.

Fittingly, ironically, those guys got sued because that song was just basically the singer singing over an orchestral arrangement of “The Last Time” by the Stones. 😛

> [@WordMan](#):
>
> It’s a tough question. Sure, Dostoevsky and Beethoven rock, but there are plenty of Russian novels and classical symphonies that could be considered pretentious.
> 
> Look at jazz pianist Art Tatum - dude could outplay anyone, anytime. He put lead fills on top of his lead fills and had 3-5 ideas going at once. But while a lot of folks don’t like his rococo approach, or think he’s exhausting or overly busy, few call him pretentious. Why? I have no fuckin’ clue, but I assume that most folks can hear that Art Tatum the purest of talents and not some overwrought navel-gazer.

I think purely instrumental musicians get a lot more leeway, because in the absence of lyrics it’s harder to ascribe intent, and intent is central to whether the work of art in question is pretentious or not. If Tatum had named one of his albums “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” (for example), I think we’d be calling him quite pretentious right now. 😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2014, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266/100 "2014-11-09T15:16:37Z")

</div>

> [@astorian](#):
>
> But to me, pretentiousness is an attitude, not a particular genre. Any time a band or artist gives off a vibe that practically intones, “Listen to US! We are ARTISTS, and we are making important STATEMENTS,” that’s pretentious. ESPECIALLY if the artists shows little or no humor, self-awareness, or recognition of their own limitations.

With this as the primary criteria, I nominate **U2**. 🙂

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266.md?page=4)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-pretentious-rock-songs/703266.md?page=6)
