# Most ridiculous dialog you've heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 12, 2015, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860 "2015-09-12T16:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/1 "2015-09-12T16:28:18Z")
My husband is watching Encore Western. He does this a lot. Right now he’s watching Sierra Baron and I overheard this gem: Guy One: He was shot and killed. Guy Two: But how? Guy One: I do not know. I dare anyone to come up with something more ridiculous said seriously in a movie or TV show. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/2 "2015-09-12T16:39:54Z")
From the movie COG (I think). The scenario is there a super secret underground base in the US where all the super secret science is done. There have been a series of suspicious deaths there. Which suggests an inside job, probably by a comie pinko. An outside expert has been brought in. At one point they realize the comies now know the location of the base and may be able to nuke it without any warning. Then the following dialog takes place (paraphrased) Outside expert: Which levels would not be able to survive a nuclear strike? Local male scientist: Levels 5 and above. Outside expert: Okay, immediately evacuate levels 5 and above. Local female scientist: But level 4 is the cafeteria and they are having lunch right now. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/3 "2015-09-12T17:02:10Z")
Well, **bullfish** , we can’t have evacuations on an empty stomach! ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/4 "2015-09-12T17:55:00Z")
Honestly I have blocked out the exact lines ( other than a screamed _NOOOOOOOO!!!_ - maybe that is all that is needed ), but just based on memories of horror it would had to have been something from **Dungeons and Dragons** ( the movie ). A film that can only thank the mysteriously perplexing **Highlander 2** for not sitting at the all time bottom of the heap. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/5 "2015-09-12T17:55:52Z")
OP quote sounds like Teal’c and O’Neil ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/6 "2015-09-12T18:45:39Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > OP quote sounds like Teal’c and O’Neil But these guys were exploring unknown worlds. It is possible to come across a body riddled with holes and not know how it happened. Run across someone shot to death in the Sierra Madres in the 1800’s, well, that’s a whole nother story. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/7 "2015-09-12T19:27:40Z")
From Star Trek Voyager: _B’Elanna Torres_: [Get the cheese to sickbay. The Doctor should look at it as soon as possible.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=circ3_-JJy0) So infamous a dialog that [critics](http://sickbaycheese.blogspot.com/) point at it as the whole series in a nutshell. Form the disaster movie (on more ways than one) **2012** [The Neutrinos coming from the sun have Mutated!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGf0AHky0Os) I’ll let Dara O’Briain explain why it is so ridiculous: [He said, “The neutrinos have mutated”. Now, these are fundamental particles. It’s like going, “The electrons are angry”. It’s as ridiculous as saying, “The light from the sun…_sniff_, it’s gone off”.](https://youtu.be/c2IqI7gOE54?t=4266) (NSFW language in the link) —Dara O’Briain ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/8 "2015-09-12T19:34:29Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Guy One: He was shot and killed. > Guy Two: But how? > Guy One: I do not know. Reminds me of one of the gems from _Plan Nine From Outer Space_: > [@](#): > > Inspector Clay’s dead… murdered… and _somebody’s responsible!_ ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/9 "2015-09-12T19:42:03Z")
Perhaps not the worst dialog ever, but certainly the one that makes me cringe the most. [“Some sort of Star Trek"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z8LHf9J6PQ) (at around 1:20) ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/10 "2015-09-12T20:07:51Z")
Quite a bit of dialog from Flesh Gordon…dumb but brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/11 "2015-09-12T20:14:42Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > From Star Trek Voyager: > > _B’Elanna Torres_: [Get the cheese to sickbay. The Doctor should look at it as soon as possible.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=circ3_-JJy0) This is precisely the example I opened this thread to cite. > [@](#): > > So infamous a dialog that [critics](http://sickbaycheese.blogspot.com/) point at it as the whole series in a nutshell. Looking at the blog and the summaries of _Voyager_’s final-season episodes, I realize how many of them I’ve either never seen, or seen and repressed the memories thereof. ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/12 "2015-09-12T22:34:05Z")
What was that show called? The one with [Denethor](https://thedroidyourelookingfor.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/denethor.jpg) as [Pacey’s](http://www.thatericalper.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/homemovies_402.jpg) dad, investigatin’ stuff? Oh yeah, _Fringe_. Pacey: …blah blah blah… Denethor: “The events appear to be scientific in nature.” Ridicule ensued. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/13 "2015-09-13T00:36:45Z")
“It’s like blue balls in your heart.” From season two of True Detective. ---
**Author:** ![Driver8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Driver8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Driver8)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/14 "2015-09-13T00:58:57Z")
I’m sure it wasn’t ridiculous in proper context but I still remember getting the giggles as a young adult after overhearing a classic western playing in the next room: “Strap this on and be a man.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/15 "2015-09-13T01:09:09Z")
Everything from [The Room](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368226/quotes). Example: Mark: How was work today? Johnny: Oh, pretty good. We got a new client and the bank will make a lot of money. Mark: What client? Johnny: I cannot tell you; it’s confidential. Mark: Aw, come on. Why not? Johnny: No, I can’t. Anyway, how is your sex life? ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/16 "2015-09-13T01:31:16Z")
Plan 9 was mentioned, so the next one that comes to mind is some show on MTV that I watched with a relative. The scene was two models talking about recent events in their lives. Model 1: You just got back from Italy? How was it? Model 2: Great! But let’s talk about what’s going on around here instead. Model 1: Blah blah blah. Italy didn’t come up again. It seemed like such lazy writing, explaining why Model 1 wasn’t on camera for a while, and then right back to exposition. Plus who doesn’t like talking about their trip to another country? I started poking fun at the show but I was annoying the other people in the room so I shut up. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/17 "2015-09-13T01:36:38Z")
I’m having a hard time finding a copy of the actual shooting script used for **Invaders from Mars** – the original 1953 version – but I has some amazingly bad dialogue in it. You may have heard that this is a classic, a wonderful kid’s nightmare made by the designed-turned-director William Cameron Menzies. But, I assure you, the dialogue stinks. I watched this once in an art cinema – the kind where people get dressed up to attend, and the floors aren’t sticky with half-dried soda and jujubes, because they don’t sell refreshments there. Their patrons are there to see film as an ART form. These are people deeply committed to appreciating film. And by the time the film got to the point where the astronomer is speculating about the Martian mew-TANTS (that’s how he pronounced “mutants”) the well-dressed audience was shouting abusive comments at the screen. Here’s how one review site addresses this scene: > [@](#): > > In 1953 the film already had an archaic quality, harkening back to a forty-year-old film language that had been left behind. It reminds me of another film of the ’50s that feels archaic and artificial in a similar way: The Night of the Hunter (1955). Alas, unlike that movie it doesn’t have a script by James Agee, and the dialog is one of the big weaknesses of Invaders from Mars. Again, I wonder if Menzies wouldn’t have preferred to use silent intertitles. Stiff dialog isn’t unusual in ’50s science fiction films, but here it seems of a piece with the static camera. And what’s a ’50s science fiction movie without a dull expository lump delivered by a clean cut scientist? But I love the glittering starfield backdrop. [http://www.randybyers.net/?p=775](http://www.randybyers.net/?p=775) I will give the film one thing. After the Good Guys set the timer for the bomb to go off in the Martian bunker, there seems to be an intolerably long time of running through tunnels and of visual flashbacks before the bomb goes off. But I timed it – the sequence took exactly the length of time that the timer was set for. It’s the only case I know of where that’s true – usually they take dramatic liberties with such timing, and cut it short. Still doesn’t help the dialogue. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/18 "2015-09-13T03:05:13Z")
There are so many dumb lines in the later Star Trek series, you could publish an entire compendium of them: “Troi! You’re my _friend_, and you _tricked_ me!” “Ahhh, prune juice! The drink of a _warrior_!” “It’s my science project for school, mom.” These are the first three that come to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/19 "2015-09-13T03:15:21Z")
**The Davinci Code** - the entire god damn book. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/20 "2015-09-13T04:39:33Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > From Star Trek Voyager: > > _B’Elanna Torres_: [Get the cheese to sickbay. The Doctor should look at it as soon as possible.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=circ3_-JJy0) > > So infamous a dialog that [critics](http://sickbaycheese.blogspot.com/) point at it as the whole series in a nutshell. Yeah, it’s a far cry from the much lauded, well respected, dearly beloved, highly praised original “Star Trek” series that featured such crisp, intellectual dialogue as: [Brain and brain! What IS brain???](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZYVymFmL88) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860.md?page=2)