# Most ridiculous dialog you've heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 12, 2015, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860 "2015-09-12T16:28:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/101 "2015-09-17T04:45:02Z")
Only a Sith deals in absolutes! ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/102 "2015-09-17T09:10:43Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Even this is better than the incessant technobabble on _ **Voyager** _ whenever a crisis struck: > > “I’m shunting power from the sensors to the deflector array!” > > “We need another 13 million terajoules to avoid a warp core breach!” > > “Shields are down 80%! Attempting to compensate!” > > The last line would be delivered after one or two phaser hits. Starfleet vessels were apparently all built by the lowest bidder. There seems to be a lot of vitriol aimed at Voyager recently, I don’t think this is amongst the fair criticism. _All_ the treks used that kind of technobabble. Personally, within reason, I don’t have any problem with it; _of course_ I wouldn’t understand everything being discussed on a starship. A bit of jargon is acceptable in just setting the scene. And one episode’s gobbledegook can often be the next’s important plot point. TOS probably used jargon the least of the treks, but we see the result: a metaphor of “re-routing power” which severely hurts common sense and suspension of disbelief and has now lumbered all the treks. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/103 "2015-09-17T11:36:29Z")
> [@MrAtoz](#): > > On the other hand, Luke seems to recognize Ben by sight when he sees him, and is not surprised that Ben knows him by name. My read on the scene is that they’ve met at least once before. I think that Uncle Owen is simply lying when he says that Obi-Wan “doesn’t exist.” He’s trying to keep Luke home on the farm, to prevent him from getting involved in all this Jedi stuff, which means keeping him away from Kenobi as much as possible. That’s why he wants to have Artoo’s memory flushed–the droid is bringing up Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Luke’s getting intrigued by it, and we can’t have any of that! > > I can’t believe that we’re quibbling so much about a line of dialogue that we both agree is incredibly clunky! 🙂 I don’t disagree with your saying that they must have met once before, just that there’s no reason for us to think it was recently. Surely they can recognize each other from when Luke was a much younger kid. And of _course_ Owen is lying to keep Luke away from Ben. That’s not in dispute at all. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/104 "2015-09-18T04:15:57Z")
“They’ve compromised our cookie!” (The line is bad enough as is out of context. In context, it’s even worse. Apparently Chris Carter has no idea what cookies are and how IP traces work. Granted, the whole scene is ridiculous, but this line is just perfect.) [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/kgWQOn7Kyu8/maxresdefault.jpg "Hacking Scene from The Lone Gunmen s01e01") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgWQOn7Kyu8) ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/105 "2015-09-18T14:43:12Z")
“Compromised Cookie” would be an awesome name for a band or a racehorse. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/106 "2015-09-18T15:51:02Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Only a Sith deals in absolutes! Whoever wrote that had to know how stupid it was. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2015, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/107 "2015-09-20T03:55:17Z")
Not dramatic dialogue, but scripted nonetheless: The host of _ **America’s Lost Treasures** _ wondering aloud if the hammer and sickle on the inside of Lee Harvey Oswald’s wedding ring indicates he was part of a KGB plot to assassinate JFK. Poppycock! It’s nothing more than a hallmark of sorts to indicate the ring was manufactured in the USSR. Millions of items were marked like that with what were sometimes called\* znaky kachesva\* (“marks of quality”). ---
**Author:** ![catkabrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@catkabrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catkabrick)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2015, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/108 "2015-09-22T07:02:25Z")
sorry for jumping into the pool late, but back to original question- I’ve never been able to forget this one. Long ago and late at night, have no idea of the title; started with Viking ships and witchly prophesy, then went straight downhill to: castle room, los of fake stone. King(?) dressed sorta Viking, brooding on throne. Guards (dressed as Hollywood centurians)stand back as young man (dressed in late medieval armor) staggers in with sword in back. Nobody moves as he falls backwards, onto sword, onto steps, and goes thump, thump, thump, down. Then the king leaps forward crying, “Haggis, my son!” Sorta lost it at that point. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/109 "2015-09-22T18:28:07Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Only a Sith deals in absolutes! A friend once told me, “You’re just one of those people who has to label everyone.” ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860/110 "2015-09-22T18:47:35Z")
> [@catkabrick](#): > > sorry for jumping into the pool late, but back to original question- I’ve never been able to forget this one. Long ago and late at night, have no idea of the title; started with Viking ships and witchly prophesy, then went straight downhill to: castle room, los of fake stone. King(?) dressed sorta Viking, brooding on throne. Guards (dressed as Hollywood centurians)stand back as young man (dressed in late medieval armor) staggers in with sword in back. Nobody moves as he falls backwards, onto sword, onto steps, and goes thump, thump, thump, down. Then the king leaps forward crying, “Haggis, my son!” > Sorta lost it at that point. Wow! Now I’m going to remember it too. I wonder what it was! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-ridiculous-dialog-youve-heard/730860.md?page=5)