Indeed. Not an athlete, but former hockey coach Jacques Demers admitted being functionally illiterate in a biography published in 2005. But he’s obviously quite an smart man, to have made a career as a coach in the NHL and have won a Stanley Cup in 1993.
For somehow managing to turn a diamond into coal, this one can’t be denied.
You really believe Magic’s dumb?
By most accounts, he’s happy go lucky in public, and a ruthlessly Machiavellian manipulator in private. Got at least one coach fired early in his career. Not someone anybody wants to work for, if they can avoid it, but not dumb by a long shot.
I believe he’s made more from his various business ventures than he did during his playing career.
IIRC, Dexter Manley also did a bit of charity work re: kids and literacy.
There’s the line that Hollywood Henderson threw at Terry Bradshaw: “Terry couldn’t spell ‘CAT’ if you spotted him the ‘C’ and the ‘A’.”
While Michael Vick is probably my current #1 of “idiotic athletes”, let’s not forget his brother Marcus.
It recently came out that Robin Yount has gone totally bankrupt. Doesn’t have a nickle left. He made over $20 million in the big leagues.
How the hell can you manage that?
I was only a wee lad when Robin Yount was playing (he retired when I was 12). But he always struck me as an ass hole. So this doesn’t surprise me at all.
Well, Derek Sanderson was in the same boat about 20 years ago- bankrupt, destitute, practically homeless. This despite the fact that he was making 250 grand a year back when that was HUGE money in hockey.
In the Seventies, he portrayed himself as a suave, swinging, sophisticated ladies man. Today, he says that was almost completely an act. He now says he was just a dumb Canadian kid who never asked his manager basic questions about where his money was going because he was too embarrassed to admit he didn’t KNOW what a bond was or what a mutual fund was or what tax shelters were.
Derek may not have been so different from a lot of young athletes. A young guy from a poor family who makes it into the NBA or NFL has never had much money, and doesn’t know what to do with it. If he’s smart and lucky, he gets a good agent and good financial advisors. But he may instead choose to surround himself with family members or old friends and take advice from them. That can easily lead to disaster.
I have a memory of seeing Leon Spinks on TV once, and thinking that his hat was much smarter (and better looking) than he was.
The other day my wife and I were talking idly about what we’d do if we won $25 million in the lottery. (it’s important to note for the sake of this story that here, lottery winning are tax free.)
I said that my inclination would be to just take half of it and put it in a savings account and get four percent on it. That’s $500,000 a year. My reasonaing was that our bank is a gigantic, regulated Godzilla-bank that will almost certainly outlive us. If we wanted to be really safe I’d hold savings accounts with three huge Canadian banks. When she pointed out that this was probably not the most tax- and return-friendly investment strategy, I said, “Yeah, but it’s the safest one. And that would be $500,000 a year. So who gives a shit?”
I always wonder, when you hear about super rich athletes blowing all their money in “investments,” why, even if they didn’t understand the ins and outs of mutual funds and stock portfolios, they didn’t just put the money in a savings account. If you’ve got a few million bucks and you walk into Bank of America and tell the manager “Here, I have a few million bucks. Give me five percent guaranteed,” he’s going to ask you if you’d like a blow job with that. When you have millions, it really isn’t going to matter to your actual quality of life in the long run if you make five percent or seven.
I know very little about money but I understand that a savings account with a big chartered bank is a pretty safe place for it. But maybe some people know even less than me. But that would make them stupid. So, I still nominate Robin Yount.
The baseball player who always strikes me as brilliantly talented and dumb as hair is Manny Ramirez. He’s just not all there.
Not to sound rude, but do you have a link? None of the sources I’ve checked seem to have that.
Jack Clark was facing bankruptcy near the end of his career when he was playing with the Red Sox. In his case, he was giving away lots of money, both to actual friends in need and to hangers-on who always found a need to be in. Plus, he invested in businesses that look like fun but have a very low rate of success, such as a chain of fried chicken restaurants and a drag-racing team, IIRC.
His Wiki page just talks about his baseball career (with one butt-ugly photo), but doesn’t mention how he’s doing now.
Well, Derek Sanderson is now advising athletes on how to handle their money, and he now tells athletes almost exactly what you just said. When you get your first big signing bonus, when you actually have a hefty check in your pocket for the first time ever, THAT’s the time to do something to make the money grow. As you say, even if you stuck that first big signing bonus in something as petty as CD’s or a simple passbook savings account, you’d be generating big bucks that could keep you living in comfort for years to come.
But most young guys who get that big check think first of all the things they want to buy with it.
That MIGHT mean buying frivolous luxury items, but not necessarily. It might mean buying a mansion for your Mom, who supported you all your life. It might mean buying a lot of nice things for friends and relatives who didn’t have much. But the fact remains, if you’re spending that money and not giving it a chance to grow, you could be left with little or nothing… ESPECIALLY in the NFL, where contracts aren’t guaranteed, and the $100 million contract the newspapers announced might not end up paying you nearly so much.
HEY!
I never claimed to be an athlete. 
None of what you quoted above requires intelligence- I can go and demand my boss be fired and if I’m a good enough employee, maybe I’ll get my way. Having a string of theatres in his name and the like has earned him multi-millions, but I seriously doubt he lends much more than his name to any of it. Just listen to the man speak for thirty seconds if you have doubts- unless you’re saying thats all an act 
Maurice Clarett. Great athlete who made a string of stupid decisions. He sued the NFL to try to get into the draft early instead of just playing another couple of years at Ohio State. Lost that suit and still got drafted when eligible by the Broncos (in the 3rd round, which made a lot of people wonder what Shanahan was thinking). Then he got cut because he was slow and out of shape, which might have been fixable, but he had a horrible work ethic and attitude. He was also dumb enough to sign a contract with no signing bonus, meaning he basically got nothing. And now, of course, he’s in jail until at least about 2010.
Agree- Clarett opting for a performance based contract in lieu of up front money, when in reality he had a very small chance of even making the practice squad is one of the all time stupid moves- Denver offering the guy decent up front money was stupid as well.
I don’t belong in here, because I’m not a sports fan, but I’ve been wondering this lately and I bet someone in this thread will know the answer.
About 25-30 years ago there was a TV commercial with a famous-at-the-time athlete for probably STP oil treatment, and he had a line at the end, “Use (this product) and watch your engine ameliorate.”
I believe it was supposed to be funny because the athlete had a reputation for being stupid.
Does anybody remember who that was?
Muhammed Ali failed the Armed Forces aptitude test, and could not identify Viet Nam on a map (cite). They had to lower the standards before they accepted him as 1-A. Note that this was long before his current, brain-damaged state.
Regards,
Shodan
I think Ali’s failure was due to a lack of book knowlege – he always struck me as a very smart person, but probably never bothered to pay attention in school. But he definitely was shrewd and had a quick wit in his prime.