Looks like I win, nobody has mentioned The Matrix: Reloaded and Revolutions in this thread.
/K.O. punch
He’s at your bar? He’s in MY English class. Small world…
I am most turned off by the shock-and-awe school of independent film-making in the US. To name names… Happiness, Gummo etc.
I know a lot of people walked out on this movie, but I liked it. What? Why is everyone backing away from me? 
Seriously, I laughed my ass off.
Pi was absolute torture. As was Gods and Generals and Bad Lieutenant, although I’m not sure the latter would be considered “pretentious”. Then there’s The Unberable Lightness of Being.
But how would you ever know, whether you got* the movie or not?
*unless the director/writer…etc in an interview explicitly provides the outline
I guess since no else has said it yet I have to.
Being John Malkovich.
I hate you all, you’re not funny, and this movie was so full of itself I wanted to scream!
AHHH!
I opened this thread JUST to post Prospero’s Books and it was in the op!!
Yet another vote for Pi.
So far it seems like all the movies mentioned have at least some semblance of plot and dialogue. Y’all haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen The Cremaster Cycle. Or maybe I should say you’ve haven’t seen nothing, since that seems to be what’s going on here.
The Thin Red Line.
'Nuff said.
Gosford Park and High Art- holy God, those sucked!
I didn’t dislike Pi but I didn’t like it as much as a friend thought I would (she recommended it while discussing our mutual affection for David Lynch films, tho I still haven’t seen Lost Hwy, Mulholland Dr or The Straight Story).
Didn’t care much for Nadja but I should watch it again (btw, I loved The Addiction).
A fictitous auto-biography of the director/writer/lead actress Asia Argento about the daughter of a famous Italian director who wants to be a director herself, but keeps getting cast as a sex object in films. In movies like this, you hope for the character to overcome the adversity that faces them and watch them change for the better, and you feel sorry for them when things fall apart. After the third time she gets raped in this film due to her own stupidity for getting in obviously bad situations (like taking a hit of some cocaine substance while pregnant!), I just didn’t give a flying fuck about her. And then she continues to do the same shit. She starts off as a rich pretentious girl in a bad place, and ends up in the exact same spot. No growth, no development, still rich and pretentious and stupid. Waste of my fucking time.
My husband actually made me leave the room when we rented Gods and Generals because I was laughing and making so much fun of it. The whole “I’m going to war. Darling, let’s sit down and read that Bible passage together one more time before I go get my head blown off” was so absurd I found it hilarious. My husband thought I was amused in the wrong way. He later admitted, after watching the entire film, that he hated it too.
Omg, I could kiss you!! I saw part of this movie one night a few years ago. I had woken up and it was on, I only saw a little bit before I fell back to sleep. I have been trying to find this movie ever since. Thank you!!!
Hey, there’s plot in the Cremaster cycle–it’s just that the plot is completely indecipherable 
I looooove Cremaster 3, though I’m not overly keen on the others.
And I’ll nominate Ashes of Time–Wong Kar-Wai is a great filmmaker, but this one is just too painfully pretentious.
I submit Gerry by Gus Van Sant.
Basically, Casey Affleck and Matt Damon get lost in the desert. And call each other Gerry.
Horribly pretentious and quite dull.
I think any movie that is not a Biblical epic in which a character actually sees Christ is, by definition, pretentious. (And probably lousy, as Bad Lieutenant certainly was.)
I second elfikin in saying “bite your tounge.” The Last Supper is a fun, witty movie that deftly skewers both sides of the aisle. And thanks to this thread, I now know it’s out on DVD!
Re the OP, I hated, hated, hated The English Patient (or, as I call it, Helping the Nazis is OK if Love is Somehow Involved).
But, dude! Ron Perlman!
[QUOTE=Dooku]
I’ll probably get flensed for this, but I despised The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover.
[QUOTE]
This is the only movie I’ve ever walked out on. I hated it.
And since Justin_Bailey has already mentioned Being John Malkovich, which I also hated, I’ll throw in Adaptation. What do the critics see in these movies? Charlie Kaufman is not cool, he’s not funny (not even darkly) and I’m going to run screaming from anything he writes from now on.