# Most unexpected song lyrics? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 8, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242 "2016-12-08T23:42:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/1 "2016-12-08T23:42:22Z")
This is inspired by Moana, which has a song where the word “demigod” is rhymed with “decapod.” Never would I have ever come up with that word pair, much less expected to hear them in a song in a children’s movie. So, how about examples of improbable lyrics or rhymes? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/2 "2016-12-08T23:45:09Z")
"Her breakfast coffee tastes like Cham… Poo." - Tom Lehrer ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/3 "2016-12-09T01:10:52Z")
I caught a good one, it looked like it could run Up on its back and away I did ride —El Paso, Marty Robbins ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/4 "2016-12-09T01:23:02Z")
I spent my last $10 on birth control and beer; My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer. But the love of a strong, hairy man has turned my head I fear– And made me spend my last 10 bucks on birth control and beer. Well it was June of 1983 When Mary Lou and I did part. ---
**Author:** ![wendelenn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/58f4c7/32.png) [@wendelenn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendelenn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/5 "2016-12-09T03:24:44Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > "Her breakfast coffee tastes like Cham… > > Poo." - Tom Lehrer “Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately? I’ve got a hobby! Re-reading Lady Chatterley!” I adore Tom Lehrer. ---
**Author:** ![Wolf333](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf333/32/3460_2.png) [@Wolf333](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolf333)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/6 "2016-12-09T03:32:46Z")
It’s alright to say things can always get better You haven’t lost your brand new sweater I know I had it on when I had my tea and I’m sure I had it on in the lavatory… Sultans of Ping FC ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/7 "2016-12-09T05:31:55Z")
One flesh, one bone, one true religion One voice, one hope, one real decision Gimme one light, yeah! Gimme one hope, hey! Just gimme (Ah!) One man (one man) One bar (one night) One day (hey-hey) Just gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme… **…Fried chicken!** ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/8 "2016-12-09T05:46:55Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > One flesh, one bone, one true religion > One voice, one hope, one real decision > Gimme one light, yeah! > Gimme one hope, hey! > Just gimme (Ah!) > One man (one man) > One bar (one night) > One day (hey-hey) > Just gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme… > **…Fried chicken!** That’s what I wanted to post. Every time I listen to that song, I just wait for that bit, and it delights me every time. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/9 "2016-12-09T12:57:24Z")
_She had a woman’s touch, a young girls eyes In seconds flat I was proselytized_ Blood Sweat & Tears “I Can’t Quit Her” ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/10 "2016-12-09T12:58:36Z")
This kind of thing would appear to be \*Train’s \*stock in trade with such gems as “I’m so obsessed My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest” (ugh) “She was caught in a mudslide Eaten by a lion Got run over by a crappy purple Scion” (this one actually makes me smile) “Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong” (nope) “She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey, hey” (who the hell sings about tae-bo?) For a more classic example, how about _That’s Amore’s_ " When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool". ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/11 "2016-12-09T13:26:24Z")
**Old 97s** - “Crash on the Barrelhead” _You’re gonna die the way you live And the way you drink, you’re like a riv… er bound for falls, not much fun You’re gonna crash on the barrelhead son_ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/12 "2016-12-09T14:43:51Z")
A friend named their daughter “Elenore” and the first thing I said was “Did you know that’s the only song with the word ‘etcetera’ in it?” _Elenore, gee I think you’re swell And you really do me well You’re my pride and joy Et cetera…_ –The Turtles, aka Howard and Mark/Flo and Eddie ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/13 "2016-12-09T14:53:28Z")
\*You consider me the young apprentice Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes. . . . . .I will turn your face to alabaster When you’ll find your servant is your master\* Wrapped Around Your Finger - The Police _The fact he’s over six feet ten Might instill fear in other men But not in me The mighty flea Ask if I am mouse or man The mirror squeaked, away I ran He’ll murder me in time for his tea Does it bother me at all? My rival is Neanderthal_ Seven Days - Sting ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/14 "2016-12-09T15:05:41Z")
“Lovers divided, get coincided” Anyone but Sondheim would have used “re-united” as the rhyme for divided. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/15 "2016-12-09T15:28:06Z")
> [@wendelenn](#): > > “Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately? > I’ve got a hobby! Re-reading Lady Chatterley!” > > I adore Tom Lehrer. There’s also: An awful debility, A lessened utility, A loss of mobility Is a strong possibility. In all probability I’ll lose my virility And you your fertility And desirability, And this liability Of total sterility Will lead to hostility And a sense of futility, So let’s act with agility While we still have facility, For we’ll soon reach senility And lose the ability. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/16 "2016-12-09T15:47:28Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > \*You consider me the young apprentice > Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes. . . > > . . .I will turn your face to alabaster > When you’ll find your servant is your master\* > > Wrapped Around Your Finger - The Police Mephistopheles is not your name I know what you’re up to just the same. That is the song I came in to mention. Sting knew how to send me running to the encyclopedia back in the 80s. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/17 "2016-12-09T15:49:11Z")
**Chefguy** - what’s unexpected about Sting’s lyrics? The dude name-checked Nabokov in a pop single. I would go with lyrics I didn’t quite realize I was singing along to. Like **Foster the People’s Pumped Up Kicks** when I find myself singing “Better run, better run, run from my gun.” Definitely a WTF?! moment. Same with **Smells Like Teen Spirit** : A mulatto, an Albino, A mosquito, my libido, yeah!! Yeah? So, _those_ were unexpected 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/18 "2016-12-09T17:47:36Z")
“The doctor came in, stinking of gin, and proceeded to lie, on the table.” Was kinda expecting Rocky Racoon to do that. In terms of shock? value, sure wasn’t expecting to hear on 70’s fm radio: “Show business kids, making movies of themselves. You know they don’t give a fuck about anybody else.” - The ‘Dan’ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/19 "2016-12-09T18:01:24Z")
I got a kick out of Paradise by the Dashboard Light Do you love me!? Will you love me forever!? Do you need me!? Will you never leave me!? Will you make me happy for the rest of my life!? Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!? I gotta know right now Before we go any further Do you love me!? Will you love me forever!? **Let me sleep on it Baby, baby let me sleep on it Let me sleep on it And I’ll give you an answer in the morning** ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/20 "2016-12-09T18:34:34Z")
I guess it’s cheating to bring up Weird Al, since unexpected lyrics are his specialty, but the first time I heard this I guffawed: \*I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2 And I said, “God, please answer me one question: Why’d they have to interrupt ‘The Simpsons’ just for this?”\* [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242.md?page=2)