# Most unexpected song lyrics? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 8, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242 "2016-12-08T23:42:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/21 "2016-12-09T21:52:32Z")
\*Rene and Georgette Magritte With their dog after the war Returned to their hotelsuite And they unlocked the door. . . . . .The easy stream of laughter Flowing through the air Rene and Georgette Magritte With their dog apres la guerre\* Rene And Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After The War - Paul Simon Based on a photo of the painter and his wife and dog. I had to look that one up. ---
**Author:** ![wendelenn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/58f4c7/32.png) [@wendelenn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendelenn)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/22 "2016-12-10T04:30:05Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > There’s also: > > An awful debility, > A lessened utility, > A loss of mobility > Is a strong possibility. > In all probability > I’ll lose my virility > And you your fertility > And desirability, > And this liability > Of total sterility > Will lead to hostility > And a sense of futility, > So let’s act with agility > While we still have facility, > For we’ll soon reach senility > And lose the ability. Vatican Rag has some good ones too. Do whatever steps you want if You have cleared them with the Pontiff Everybody say his own Kyrie Eleison Two, four , six, eight, time to transsubstantiate! (That one cracks me up every time.) Make a cross on your abdomen, When in Rome do like the Roman, Ave Maria, gee it’s good to see ya. . . (I could go on with Lehrer lyrics for days.) ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/23 "2016-12-10T05:42:36Z")
> [@wendelenn](#): > > Vatican Rag has some good ones too. _First you get down on your knees, Fiddle with your rosaries, Bow your head with great respect and Genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!_ No need to google…I can do 'em from memory. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/24 "2016-12-10T06:03:29Z")
Well, I remember laughing the first time I heard these lyrics: “Oh I swear to you I’ll be there for you This is not a drive by Just a shy guy Looking for a two-ply Hefty bag to hold my Love.” The imagery of that is astonishing. Train, of course, which, as noted already, excels in such lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/25 "2016-12-10T09:17:51Z")
The last verse of New Order’s “Your Silent Face” _A sound formed in a vacuum may seem a waste of time It’s always been just the same No hearing, or breathing, no movement, no lyrics, just nothing A sign that leads the way A path we cannot take You’ve caught me at a bad time So why don’t you … piss off_ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/26 "2016-12-10T14:58:18Z")
The Flight of the Concords’ song lyrics are almost always unexpected: Lives are like retractable pencils If you push them too hard they’re gonna break And people are like paper dolls Paper dolls and people, they’re a similar shape Hmm hmm hm Love is like a roll of tape It’s real good for making two things one But just like that roll of tape Love sometimes breaks off before you were done Another way that love is similar to tape That I’ve noticed Is sometimes it’s hard to see the end You search on the roll (Search on the roll) Search on the roll (Searching round the roll) Search on the roll (Search) With your fingernail Again and again And again and again And again. - Tape of Love I dim the lights down very low, here we go You’re so beautiful You could be a waitress You’re so beautiful You could be an air hostess in the 60s You’re so beautiful You could be a part…time…model - The Most Beautiful Girl In The Room Tuesday night is the night that we usually go to your mother’s place And I teach her how to use the video machine again, But Wednesday night is the night that we’re making love When everything is just right: You’re not to tired from your after-work social netball team practice There’s nothing good on tv, Mmmmm… Conditions are perfect for making love - Business Time They call me the Hiphopopotamus Flows that glow like phosphorous Poppin’ off the top of this esophagus Rockin’ this metropolis I’m not a large water-dwelling mammal Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis? Did Steve tell you that, perchance? Steve. - Hiphopopotamus ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/27 "2016-12-10T17:48:47Z")
“Your lips were like a red and ruby chalice warmer than the summer night, The clouds were like an alabaster palace rising to a snowy height, … I could see the midnight sun.” And I’ve always loved this lyric, from the Fifth Dimension “Last night . . .” “Should call you up and just forget my foolish pride I heard your number ringin’, I went cold inside” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/28 "2016-12-10T17:55:29Z")
And from Lloyd Price’s “Stagger Lee” “Stagger Lee shot Billy Oh, he shot that poor boy so bad Till the bullet came through Billy And it broke the bartender’s glass” ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/29 "2016-12-10T18:21:04Z")
Cole Porter was the master of weird and delightful rhymes. From one song “You’re The Top” a few examples: gifted humans | Vincent Youmans Mahatma Gandhi | Napoleon Brandy National Gallery | Garbo’s salary turkey dinner | Derby winner Inferno’s Dante | the great Durante Waldorf salad | Berlin ballad ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/30 "2016-12-10T20:36:20Z")
Procol Harum, back in the psychedelic days. A “really, deep, man” recitation over hippie music. Until the last line. \*In the darkness of the night, Only occasionally relieved by glimpses of Nirvana As seen through other people’s windows, Wallowing in a morass of self-despair Made only more painful by the knowledge That all I am is of my own making … When everything around me, even the kitchen ceiling, Has collapsed and crumbled without warning. And I am left, standing alive and well, Looking up and wondering why and wherefore. At a time like this, which exists maybe only for me, But is nonetheless real, if I can communicate, And in the telling and the bearing of my soul Anything is gained, even though the words Which I use are pretentious and make you cringe With embarrassment, let me remind you of the pilgrim Who asked for an audience with the Dalai Lama. He was told he must first spend five years in contemplation. After the five years He was ushered into the Dalai Lama’s presence, who said, ‘Well, my son, what do you wish to know?’ So the pilgrim said, ‘I wish to know the meaning of life, father.’ And the Dalai Lama smiled and said…\* ‘Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn’t it?’ ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/31 "2016-12-11T00:42:58Z")
Asia, _Africa_ The wild dogs cry out in the night As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company I know that I must do what’s right As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti There’s just something fundamentally \*wrong \*with that last line. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/32 "2016-12-11T01:14:59Z")
Darn it, **ChefGuy**. I was going to mention [Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk). _And if you rap like me you don’t get paid! And if you roll like me you don’t get laid!_ ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242/33 "2016-12-11T05:25:23Z")
I had a taste of the real world (Just a drop of it) When I went down on you, girl, oh. Miracles, Jefferson Starship [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-unexpected-song-lyrics/774242.md?page=1)