# Most universal joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 11, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835 "2011-12-11T18:38:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/21 "2011-12-11T22:20:44Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Depending on your definition of joke, farting might be it. Apparently it’s considered funny everywhere - often vulgar, but still funny. I think this is it. Fart jokes are universally considered funny by 50% of the human race. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/22 "2011-12-11T22:24:58Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > “Damn that water’s cold.” > > “And deep” > [@Corresponder](#): > > You could use a variation of the old sneakers and bear joke: Two guys are out in the woods or jungle or desert or whatever. > First: Why are you practicing your running? > Second: In case we see a bear (lion, jaguar, or whatever). > First: You know you can’t outrun a bear (etc.). > Second: I don’t have to outrun the bear (etc.), I just have to outrun you. These both seem like good choices, with the possible exception that the first one might whiff with people who dwell in extremely dry clients… not sure if anyone has lived somewhere so dry that the concept of peeing into a stream/lake wouldn’t be familiar to them. ---
**Author:** ![Corresponder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/22d042/32.png) [@Corresponder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corresponder)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/23 "2011-12-11T23:26:43Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > I thought about that, but it seems to be that there’s enough meta-humor there (ie, the reason it’s funny is that you expect there to be a punchline, and then there isn’t) that it might not make sense in all cultures. I mean, even if there were great traditions of joke telling in (random culture X) it would have to be Q/A style jokes of the form “A: why did something weird seeming happen? B: I don’t know, why? A: Because of something witty and unexpected.” for the chicken crossing the road to be funny. I think funny is funny, and people in other cultures/times are/were not somehow mentally deficient in that they can/could only understand physical humor or jokes demeaning someone. One general form of humor consists of conjoining the unexpected with the expected; in other words, we laugh because we were expecting one thing and a much different thing was presented. So I think people in virtually all cultures would get the chicken crossing the road joke, at least if it was phrased with an animal they were familiar with and a place such as a road, stream, clearing which they understood. The idea is that we think the chicken has some non-obvious purpose, while the answer is that it’s the obvious reason, stupid (as in, it’s the economy, stupid). (I am not calling you stupid here, I am calling the person in the chicken joke stupid.) It’s like when someone asked Willie Sutton why he robbed banks, and he said because that’s where the money is. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/24 "2011-12-12T00:27:22Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > That’s hilarious! I can’t stop laughing! I can hardly brea Somebody gets it! Ludovic, Thank you for humoring me 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/25 "2011-12-12T00:49:00Z")
My first thought was: I don’t know the specific joke, but I bet it has to do with a Mother-in-law. OBviously the “In-law” aprt chanegs, but “annoying Mother of my mate” has got to be a universally recognizable problem. Not everybody has one, but everybody knows about them. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/26 "2011-12-12T01:08:12Z")
Person 1: Look at that dead bird! Person 2: _looks up_ Where? ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/27 "2011-12-12T01:38:31Z")
> [@Corresponder](#): > > Aristophanes, in an ancient Greek comedy (I think The Trojan Women) had a character talk about being so horny that his erection stretched from Athens to Sparta, or whatever. This could be used in any culture, with the cities of course being replaced by two far apart locations. YMMV with penis jokes per society. I think in Ancient Greece a large penis was considered comical (low status), not sexy, aesthetically pleasing or high status. Saying that about yourself would’ve been self-deprecating then, so a different kind of funny. Still funny though 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/28 "2011-12-12T01:47:03Z")
Any interaction between an educated city boy and a rustic. These gems, though ancient, all came from Michelle Shocked’s **Arkansas Traveler** : ## Traveler: Hey Farmer! You said the water wasn’t deep! Farmer: It only comes up to here on the duck. ## Traveler: Hey Farmer! How can I get back to the road? Farmer: Go back the way you came from. ## Traveler: Hey Farmer! You’re not very smart are you? Farmer: No, but I ain’t lost. ## Traveler: Hey Farmer! Why don’t you fix your roof? Farmer: When it’s raining, it’s too wet to fix it and when it’s not raining, it’s a good as any other roof. Traveler: Hey Farmer, you aren’t far from a fool, are you? Farmer: Ain’t nothing but a fence between us. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/29 "2011-12-12T01:47:13Z")
> [@Corresponder](#): > > Probably OK, but to be nitpicking I could say that possibly in some languages the expression for how a haircut turns out may not include the manner or circumstances in which the cutting is done. In English, if I asked “How would you like your eggs?”, the answer “In silence” wouldn’t be funny. Also, in early societies people may not have gotten haircuts. I think that’s a fine joke. “In silence” does not depend on a pun; it depends on the historical fact that barbers tend to yap your ears off. Hair care of some sort is absolutely built into our species. “How would you like your parasites picked?” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/30 "2011-12-12T01:59:39Z")
> [@](#): > > I think that’s a fine joke. “In silence” does not depend on a pun; it depends on the historical fact that barbers tend to yap your ears off. Hair care of some sort is absolutely built into our species. > > “How would you like your parasites picked?” Grooming of each other may be built in, but that’s not quite the same thing as being a barber. The built-in grooming instinct would apply to close family members, mates, or the like. A barber is someone who grooms you despite not having any such close connection to you, and I expect that has to wait at least until the development of a structured economy. And I can still envision a language (even if I don’t know any specific examples) where “Under what circumstances would you like this task to be performed?” and “What outcome do you desire from this task?” would be phrased entirely differently, and where thus no version of that joke would work. ---
**Author:** ![twhitt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@twhitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twhitt)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/31 "2011-12-12T02:59:16Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > “Damn that water’s cold.” > > “And deep” I fail. What’s funny about this? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/32 "2011-12-12T03:02:51Z")
> [@twhitt](#): > > I fail. What’s funny about this? It’s a dick length joke. Two guys are pissing into a lake, or river, or bathtub. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/33 "2011-12-12T03:40:50Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > YMMV with penis jokes per society. I think in Ancient Greece a large penis was considered comical (low status), not sexy, aesthetically pleasing or high status. Saying that about yourself would’ve been self-deprecating then, so a different kind of funny. Still funny though 🙂 Do you find it amusing when I mention my fwiend Bigguth Dickuth? ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/34 "2011-12-12T03:41:33Z")
…Sex jokes, but maybe not exactly the kind we think are funny today. Well… where the guy is so clueless that he doesn’t know how much his woman has been getting around. Cuckolding could get a laugh in Shakespeare’s time from the slightest mention. Aristophenes (?) made a point by having the women boycott sex until the men started behaving better. Humor is edgy from its nature. Another topic would be religious jokes told at the expense of the local gods. Gotta be careful with those, fellows could find themselves in BAD trouble if those were told to the wrong audience. Another set of jokes, pretty old, would be the ethnic jokes. Nothing quite as funny as telling how stupid or weak or cowardly those outsiders are. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/35 "2011-12-12T03:45:50Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > It doesn’t directly answer your question, but are you aware of the research into the “[World’s funniest joke](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World's_funniest_joke)”? From your link: > [@](#): > > The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1950 Goon show sketch by Spike Milligan, was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester: > > _"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services… "_ I note your disclaimer but any joke requiring a cell phone probably won’t meet the OP’s criteria. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/36 "2011-12-12T03:48:22Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > The pratfall. Slapstick is the international language, and watching someone fall on his face is its most basic element. I think this is the answer. Didn’t they send a picture of a vehicle stuck in a crevasse (or something) out with V-ger? NASA must have thought this type of humor was intergalactic. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/37 "2011-12-12T03:57:41Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > From your link: > I note your disclaimer but any joke requiring a cell phone probably won’t meet the OP’s criteria. I guess my main problem with this thread is that so many people do not realize that while the trappings change, the joke has been around for some time. I heard this joke long before cell phones existed, and my dad heard it before car phones existed, and my granddad heard it before pay phones existed, and . . . etc. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/38 "2011-12-12T04:00:12Z")
\<\\> ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/39 "2011-12-12T04:02:09Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > You’re overlooking that most “dirty” jokes derive their humor from something other than the sexual content. The sex is just a gratuitous way to get the attention of the audience. Not at all. Sex jokes work because sex is taboo and flirting with taboos is awkward and hence funny. If you were correct, jokes about precisely the same thing but with some other activity substituted for sex would work just as well as long as you got the audience’s attention. This just isn’t true. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835/40 "2011-12-12T04:05:17Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I guess my main problem with this thread is that so many people do not realize that while the trappings change, the joke has been around for some time. I heard this joke long before cell phones existed, and my dad heard it before car phones existed, and my granddad heard it before pay phones existed, and . . . etc. Is there a version that involves smoke signals and the twang of a bowstring? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-universal-joke/605835.md?page=3)