Most Useless Cover Songs

Alannah Myles released her version of Black Velvet in January 1990. Robin Lee released her version of the song in February, which didn’t seem to add anything. Being as they were released only a month apart, they were both being played on the radio at the same time.

Wow. That’s an interesting contrast. The Alannah Myles version seems to emphasize a driving rhythm section and the singer’s voice until the end, whereas the Robin Lee version has a guitar solo and a male backup singer. The latter feels more like a bunch of arbitrary, if pretty, musical elements pasted together?

I used to have the Alannah Myles album with “Black Velvet.” Pretty sure I listened to it one time when I got it and that was it. The rest of the songs didn’t click with me at all.

Holy crap. I had no idea there was another version of that song at the same time. I don’t ever remember hearing it, but I didn’t listen to country stations.

Lee’s version was fairly successful and reached #12 on the country charts. However Myles’ version was the more successful one; it reached #1 on the country charts and she won a Grammy and Juno for it.

It also hit #1 for two weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 (and spent almost half a year on the chart), so that’s why I know it so well. So far as I can tell, Robin Lee’s version did not cross over, which explains why I hadn’t heard it.

One of my favorite not useless cover albums is Petra Haden’s a cappella interpretation of The Who Sell Out. Pete Townshend praised her effort, saying

“I was a little embarrassed to realize I was enjoying my own music so much, for in a way it was like hearing it for the first time…I felt like I’d received something better than a Grammy.”

I saw Petra and friends perform the album live and it was really a blast–the crowd loved it.

I love Green Day, but they are absolutely NOT a good cover band. Their renditions of Ramones’ “Outsider” and The Kinks’ “Tired of Waiting For You” are pretty much note-for-note copies of the originals, and “useless” for the purposes of this thread. I guess one could argue “well something had to be the B-side.”

On the other hand, their cover of The Who’s “My Generation” does differ from the original, but is terrible. I cut them some slack as they were only 16 at the time.

I remember being especially unimpressed when Motley Crue did a cover of the Sex Pistols’ “Anarchy in the U.K.” It just seemed like such an uninspired, obvious choice in the first place, and their rendition certainly didn’t take the song in any new and exciting directions. But Vince Neil has said that Johnny Rotten called him and told him that he liked it, so what do I know?

The Goo Goo Dolls’ “American Girl” is a similar-but-not-as-good rendition.

On the topic of the Who, there’s also the Hillbenders’ spectacular cover album of Tommy, which they refer to as a “bluegrass opry”.

Last night I watched the first Last Week Tonight in 4 months, and John Oliver, while recapping the news since the start of the writer’s strike, had an amusing segment about Fallout Boy’s cover of We Didn’t Start the Fire and what a pointless cover it was. He played a segment of the FOB version that ended with the line “what else do I have to say?” Oliver: “Nothing! You don’t have to say a thing! Nobody asked for an updated cover of this song!” Then Oliver played a clip of Billy Joel in concert telling the audience how much he hates his own version of WDSTF. Couldn’t find a YouTube clip, unfortunately.

He’s right. It’s the worst cover of REM’s “It’s the End of the World (and I Feel Fine)” ever.

Joel can be very critical of his own work. Here’s him discussing “Piano Man”:

That clip was unexpectedly funny. That’s some fine self-deprecation, right there.

I never realized until Joel points it out that the lyrics to Piano Man were almost in limerick form:

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gives me my drinks for free
He’s quick with a joke
Or to light up your smoke
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be.

First two lines don’t rhyme, but eh, a simple rewrite could’ve fixed that.

On the whole though, I think Billy Joel should have stuck to Heavy Metal:

What is it with bluegrass covers of iconic rock operas? Luther Wright and the Wrongs covered The Wall in its entirety. It’s fine I guess, good for a listen.

I’m still scarred by that 40 years later, the artist is Will to Power if one dares to go to YouTube and have a listen. Combined with the video, it is so bad it seems like a Christopher Guest parody skit of the adult contemporary genre.

Megadeth also covered the song badly. I think they changed it to “Anarchy for the U.K.” They also changed the lyric “Another council tenancy” to “Another c***-like tendency” because Dave Mustaine (correctly, I’m sure) guessed that American audiences wouldn’t know what the former meant, not that the substituion makes a ton of sense contextually, either.

Conclusion: American metal bands shouldn’t cover British punk rockers.

Dont know if it has been mentioned before, but here is Hayseed Dixie!

Started as bluegrass covers of AC\DC, but they have branched out.

THANK YOU.

Yes, Weezer’s cover of “Africa” is the most useless cover I’ve ever heard. I can’t tell it apart from the original.

But that reminds me of this.