# Mother died tonight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165 "2005-09-05T04:24:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/1 "2005-09-05T04:24:44Z")
I took her to the emergency room Wednesday night with abdominal pain. They found masses in her liver and admitted her. Thursday they put off a biopsy until Tuesday. Friday she was confused. Saturday she was talking to folks who weren’t there. Sunday morning they called me; She was having difficulty and Dr. K wanted to put her on a ventilator. At 2:00 I saw Dr. K, heard her plans for tests and asked her, “We’re pretty well screwed, aren’t we?” “Yes, we are.” “I’d just as soon take on the vent and let her go.” Dr. K. agreed, they gave her morphine and she slept peacefully until 6:30 tonight when she just stopped breathing. _Dammit._ ---
**Author:** ![CWN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@CWN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CWN)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/2 "2005-09-05T04:29:51Z")
I am so sorry I lost my mother a few months ago my deepest sympathies ---
**Author:** ![Ragiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6de8d8/32.png) [@Ragiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ragiel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/3 "2005-09-05T04:31:53Z")
I’m so sorry. What an ordeal for both of you. You have my good wishes and thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/4 "2005-09-05T04:32:40Z")
I feel for you. I lost my father a month ago. ---
**Author:** ![IrreverentTone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@IrreverentTone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IrreverentTone)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/5 "2005-09-05T04:34:39Z")
My thoughts and prayers are with you. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/6 "2005-09-05T04:38:30Z")
Yeek. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/7 "2005-09-05T04:44:05Z")
> [@CWN](#): > > I am so sorry > I lost my mother a few months ago my deepest sympathies \*\* carnivorousplant\*\*: My mother died in February. I also send my sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/8 "2005-09-05T04:49:29Z")
I’m so very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![exastris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b38774/32.png) [@exastris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/exastris)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/9 "2005-09-05T04:50:52Z")
I have no words of wisdom, I just wanted to say that I’m very sorry for your loss. I don’t know you but you and your family will be in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/10 "2005-09-05T04:55:22Z")
**carnivorousplant** I’m so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ---
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/11 "2005-09-05T05:06:18Z")
Dammit, indeed. My condolences to you and yours. You’ll soon endure lots of discussion about whether “Quick” or “having time to say good bye” is better. :eek: My sympathies on that, too. None of this is easy, and I’m so sorry anyone has to go through it. BTW, a cold stare is the best response to speculation about the cause of any liver ailment. I learned that the hard way. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/12 "2005-09-05T05:08:11Z")
I’m so sorry. I’m sending prayers your way. Surround yourself with warm memories of her. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/13 "2005-09-05T05:08:54Z")
Thanks, everyone. I forgot to mention that on Friday she couldn’t swallow. Everything just fell apart really quickly. She was 85 and I’ve taken her to the ER before. It was just so damn quick, and the talking to folks that weren’t there was scary. There was some conspiracy she tried to describe among her neighbors. Cancer doesn’t start in the liver they tell me, it moves there from somewhere else. It became large enough to hurt there, but apparently was in other places already. I changed the door locks on her house; she handed out keys to neightborhood friends and hey, they might really be conspiring about something. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/14 "2005-09-05T05:17:09Z")
> [@MadPansy64](#): > > BTW, a cold stare is the best response to speculation about the cause of any liver ailment. Foreign bodies or masses or spots or whatever they call them in your liver at 85 is cancer, that was diagnosed Wednesday night in the ER. As I posted, it doesn’t start there. Dr. K thought it was in the colon. The only test we got was a scan of the brain that showed no tumors. She tends to get rally confused if she has to stay away from home over night, but she was talking, “I don’t want to play any more.” “I hate you.” “My son wasn’t raised that way!” She had a vivid dream or hallucenation that someone was killing pets in her house. I had to leave to see that her cat Nellie was allright. Nellie will be coming back to her birthplace to live with her Aunt, BTW. Anyway, I’m wandering again. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/15 "2005-09-05T06:03:29Z")
Wander and reminence all you wish, you’re among friends. I am so sorry for your loss. You are and will be in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/16 "2005-09-05T06:05:33Z")
I’m very, very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/17 "2005-09-05T06:58:49Z")
I am so very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/18 "2005-09-05T08:57:28Z")
Sorry for your loss. Peace and warm thoughts- -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/19 "2005-09-05T09:04:57Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss, **carnivorousplant.** GT ---
**Author:** ![Pixisis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Pixisis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixisis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/20 "2005-09-05T09:06:10Z")
you have my deepest sympathy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165.md?page=2)