# Mother died tonight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165 "2005-09-05T04:24:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/41 "2005-09-05T14:58:07Z")
I’m so very sorry, **carnivorousplant**. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/42 "2005-09-05T16:13:04Z")
I’m so sorry–there’s just no upside or comfort to something like this, at all. It just sucks. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/43 "2005-09-05T16:29:08Z")
My sincere condolences. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. StG ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/44 "2005-09-05T19:07:40Z")
My condolences, **carnivorousplant** ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/45 "2005-09-05T20:16:40Z")
My condolences and sympathies. I’ve lost both my parents. The pain does fade after a while. Take time for yourself. Trust me on this one. ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/46 "2005-09-05T20:26:58Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/47 "2005-09-05T20:56:26Z")
**carnivorousplant** , I’m with you. I’ve lost this year, and lost _big_. I understand what’s going on, and I’m here for ya. Tripler Just e-mail me if you want to vent. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/48 "2005-09-05T21:03:38Z")
My sympathies and condolences for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you to make that decision. You were brave and showed great love and fortitude in a difficult time. I second **Feydeau’s** advice. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/49 "2005-09-05T21:07:02Z")
My mother is dying right now. She has been slipping away for the last week, or more. It is a much different situationthan yours, in details, but we both know that the similarity is the essential part. I ask the Lord to bring them both joy, now that we cannot. For ourselves, I can only share your sorrow. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/50 "2005-09-06T05:18:48Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/51 "2005-09-06T05:57:36Z")
Condolences, **carnivorousplant**. After spending a month doing an ICU elective, and from what I can glean from the OP and the posts in the thread, it sounds like you really made the right decision. Never look back on your decision with doubt. She would have never weaned off of the vent and you would have faced progressively harder decisions about feeding tubes and parenteral nutrition and sedation, even quite possibly needing to restrain her. Addressing code status is often the best option. Your final gift to her was dignity and comfort in her final hours. She rests in peace. ---
**Author:** ![Penchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Penchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penchan)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/52 "2005-09-06T06:20:13Z")
I’m terribly sorry and I hope you can find a way to fight through the loss. It’s hard and it takes time, but it will happen. ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/53 "2005-09-06T09:26:36Z")
**carnivorousplant** , add my sympathies to those that have already been expressed. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/54 "2005-09-06T12:43:01Z")
And mine. I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/55 "2005-09-06T12:50:08Z")
I am very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/56 "2005-09-06T15:29:14Z")
My deepest condolences. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/57 "2005-09-06T15:39:41Z")
My gradmother and my Aunt both had long drawn out conversations with people that weren’t there when they were nearing the end. I guess I just considered it normal. One foot in this world and all that. Sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/58 "2005-09-06T18:21:34Z")
My condolences, **carnivorousplant**. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/59 "2005-09-06T20:44:42Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Foreign bodies or masses or spots or whatever they call them in your liver at 85 is cancer, that was diagnosed Wednesday night in the ER. As I posted, it doesn’t start there. Dr. K thought it was in the colon. The only test we got was a scan of the brain that showed no tumors. She tends to get rally confused if she has to stay away from home over night, but she was talking, “I don’t want to play any more.” “I hate you.” “My son wasn’t raised that way!” > She had a vivid dream or hallucenation that someone was killing pets in her house. I had to leave to see that her cat Nellie was allright. Nellie will be coming back to her birthplace to live with her Aunt, BTW. > Anyway, I’m wandering again. Colon cancer to the liver was what killed my mom. Sorry for your loss. It’s hard to lose a mom. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165/60 "2005-09-06T21:15:59Z")
**carnivorousplant** —This is going to be a very tough time for you. But we’re here for you. Keep posting, we hear you. And, I’m sorry for your troubles. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-died-tonight/320165.md?page=4)