# Mother Jones, You Suck! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 25, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780 "2013-11-25T21:36:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/41 "2013-11-26T20:49:56Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > I always assumed ralph was still using Netscape. I’m pretty sure Ralph posts from a potato. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/42 "2013-11-26T21:01:07Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > I always assumed ralph was still using Netscape. Why don’t you ask him. Just send an email to [ralph@aol.com](mailto:ralph@aol.com). ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/43 "2013-11-26T21:10:28Z")
> [@rålph124c](#): > > My wife júst shøwed mæ än invøice, før ä súbscriptiön renewäl tö “Möther Jønes Mägäzine”. I nevær ørdered this piece of träsh, nør would I ræäd it. > Nice try, yöú lying cömmiæs! You äre úsing the säme fräúdulent täctics yöú äccúse the ëvil big búsinæss"öf! This post has been Scandanavied by the Pinko Swede. ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/44 "2013-11-26T21:12:49Z")
This reminded me of a goddamn dirty trick this motherfucker of a fuckhole used to do to people he was harassing. He would leaf through magazines on a news stand, take the fall out advertising crap and fill them out for “subscriptions” to his victims, and drop them in the mail. Next thing you know all these magazines show up and the victim has no idea how or why. Evil fucking shit. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/45 "2013-11-26T21:14:52Z")
Threads like these give me hope for the future. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/46 "2013-11-26T21:39:04Z")
Wait a sec, though. If **ralph** would never read Mother Jones as he claims, how does he know they accuse ëvil big business of fraudulent tactics? _I_ think he secretly does have a subscription (and pores over every issue intently), but to keep his wife from finding out, he had to make a big show of protest: “Whaaaaat? _Me_, read _Mother Jones_?! Ridiculous! Why, this is an outrage! Wait, no, no - don’t call the magazine! Why not? Uh… because, uh… because then they’ll have our phone number, too! Whew, that was close! No, I have a better idea… I’ll craft a scathing Pit thread! Yes! That will show them!” Don’t worry, **ralph**. We’ll never reveal [your secret](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWOTdt9Bovk). > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I’m pretty sure Ralph posts from a potato. I just can’t stop laughing at this. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/47 "2013-11-26T21:49:38Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > This reminded me of a goddamn dirty trick this motherfucker of a fuckhole used to do to people he was harassing. He would leaf through magazines on a news stand, take the fall out advertising crap and fill them out for “subscriptions” to his victims, and drop them in the mail. Next thing you know all these magazines show up and the victim has no idea how or why. > > Evil fucking shit. You stopped, then? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/48 "2013-11-26T23:13:41Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Thanks for the explanation, **Dr.** That umlaut was bothering more than is probably strictly healthy. Wait, wasn’t that one of Robert E. Howard’s characters? Umlaut the Uncivilized? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/49 "2013-11-26T23:15:53Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Wait, wasn’t that one of Robert E. Howard’s characters? Umlaut the Uncivilized? Often mistaken for his cousin, Diaeresis the Disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/50 "2013-11-26T23:34:32Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Often mistaken for his cousin, Diaeresis the Disgusting. My fave Howard novel was always _The Marauding Meataxe of Macron the Manbutcher._ ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/51 "2013-11-27T00:42:35Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I’m pretty sure Ralph posts from a potato. Wow, you mean he has one of those new-fangled neural connections that allows him to post directly from his own head? Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/52 "2013-11-27T01:57:00Z")
[quote=“JRDelirious, post:33, topic:674780”] And for spotting this unscrupulous use of the mailing list, _Mother Jones_ rewarded **ralph** with a lifetime subscription. Or they would if there were justice in the Cosmos. Maybe we should help the Cosmos out. Start a collection and I’ll contribute. 🙂 I love this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/53 "2013-11-27T02:18:01Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > Evil fucking shit. ??? What’s so evil about it. Just toss the mags and the bills in the trash can. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/54 "2013-11-27T11:01:50Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Often mistaken for his cousin, Diaeresis the Disgusting. Everyone’s a diacritic. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/55 "2013-11-27T11:28:44Z")
**Ralph** , I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like it if someone talked about _your_ mother that way. And yeah, don’t ever read _MJ_. Printed words that don’t reinforce your political views are scary and will make you do things against your will. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/56 "2013-11-27T19:18:57Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > I’m surprised he didn’t blame Obama. Öbama. > [@Moonlitherial](#): > > No. Every month I receive Elle Magazine and every month I receive a “Renew now your subscription is about to expire” notice. I have never subscribed, but they keep sending it. I’ve even tried to cancel a few times when I felt guilty about immediately dumping it in the recycling bin each month but so far it still keeps coming and so do the bills. The same thing happened to me with Cosmopolitan, right down to dumping it right in the recycling bin and trying to cancel. [quote=“not\_what\_you\_d\_expect, post:52, topic:674780”] > [@JRDelirious](#): > > And for spotting this unscrupulous use of the mailing list, _Mother Jones_ rewarded **ralph** with a lifetime subscription. Or they would if there were justice in the Cosmos. > > Maybe we should help the Cosmos out. Start a collection and I’ll contribute. As mentioned above, I threw away my Cosmos. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/57 "2013-11-27T19:27:51Z")
How do you throw away a whole cosmos? And - how do you get one of your own? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/58 "2013-11-27T19:45:51Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > How do you throw away a whole cosmos? > > And - how do you get one of your own? Well, here, you just take this and put it on your tongue . . . ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/59 "2013-11-27T19:58:17Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Well, here, you just take this and put it on your tongue . . . Mmmmm … cosmossy! Better than Star Bursts! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780/60 "2013-11-27T20:11:33Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > I suggest something more his speed, like _Highlights_. Not a good idea – he’d likely start looking to Goofus as a role model. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-jones-you-suck/674780.md?page=2)