# Mother Nature snickers at my efforts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 20, 2002, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012 "2002-06-20T04:46:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/1 "2002-06-20T04:46:50Z")
This evening I spied a spider skulking in the shadows. Fact is, my first instinct when some aspect of the natural kingdom invades my space, be it mouse or moth or fly or mosquito, is usually to clobber it into an unrecognizable mass of protein, but spiders are another story. For some reason I have a soft spot for spiders, probably stemming from the fact that they eat three of the four aforementioned invaders (should I ever find a spider capable of eating a mouse in my home, the place is his). I even have a special jar set aside for escorting the little guys out of my house. Anyway, I see mister spider scuttling around on my wall, so I grab my Amazing Spider Jar[sup]TM[/sup] and attempt to apprehend the little guy, and I quickly learn that he isn’t one of those web spinning spiders. No, he’s one of those _jumping_ spiders, the kind that are really limber. So he feigns left and right and up and down, and I’m scrambling around trying to wrangle him into the jar, all the while precariously balanced on a chair. So then he leaps _right at my face_, and while I’m more than willing to catch and release spiders, I don’t really like _touching_ them any, so I make a little “eep!” noise and jump off the chair. I’d like to take a moment to mention that, during all this, Creepy Girl was sitting on the sofa, eating tortilla chips and watching all this in a bemused sort of way and **offering no help whatsoever**. Okay, little brown spider on navy blue shag carpeting. Fantastic. With the help of a Maglite clutched in my teeth I finally wrangle the spider into the jar. I take him outside to the hedges that line my house, find a nice place to set him loose, I shake the jar and… He lands right into the web of a BIGGER spider, who proceeds to make a little silk bundle out of him. I bloody give up. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/2 "2002-06-20T05:35:43Z")
Could you hear Elton John in the background singing something about the circle of life? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/3 "2002-06-20T06:13:15Z")
So, human efforts are puny and pathetic - this is news? ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/4 "2002-06-20T06:24:23Z")
Here’s a creepy turn of events. I just caught _another_ of the same kind of spider, suggesting I had an egg sack hatch in my place. I am going to sleep just so soundly tonight… ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/5 "2002-06-20T06:34:41Z")
Aurgh gross and creepy. I’d be running for the hills right about now… although there might be more spiders there wot with it being the outdoors and all…is no place safe… ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/6 "2002-06-20T06:34:48Z")
You have nothing to worry about. Unless you sleep with your mouth open. ```auto | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | w[sup]o[/sup]w :o ``` ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/7 "2002-06-20T06:43:46Z")
Actually Leechbabe, here’s a story I bet you can relate to. When I was living in Sydney my flat was constantly overrun with these furry black spiders. And as per-usual I would catch them in an empty jam jar and shuttle out of the house and into the garden. Sometimes I’d even use my hand to steer them into the jar. So one day my landlady sees me escorting one of them out of the house and asks what I’m doing. I show her the spider, and she sort of looks at me sadly and shakes her head the way one does to a ‘slow’ child who does something uniquely stupid that really isn’t they’re fault, and she says “That’s a Funnel Spider, bloody venomous too. They’ll give you a welt the size of a ten cent coin”. Fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/8 "2002-06-20T06:44:23Z")
Jumping spiders? Heck, I’m scared of the ordinary kind - I really don’t want to meet those. I am going to have veryveryvery bad dreams! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-nature-snickers-at-my-efforts/115012/9 "2002-06-20T06:56:09Z")
Ugh funnel webs ::shudders:: I had a cousin who thought it was fun to put two of them in a large bucket together and watch them fight. Torment of my childhood.