# Mother sets fire to her daughter's gloating rapist **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 25, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363 "2009-02-25T14:27:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/321 "2009-03-02T19:34:14Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I have no desire to make anyone see any “error” - like I said, it is _my_ chosen lifestance, I don’t directly advocate it for anyone else.I’ve addressed this before - suffice to say, it just ain’t so. I had the same stance when the people in power were the ones doing the killing and the maiming, and bloody revoltion looked like an attractive way out. It is precisely because there is no universal Justice that I believe as I do.:::: snip ::: I was unclear or did not use enough periods or commas… You have ‘been there - done that’ so IMO you are good to go. Does not make any difference to me. You have stated your position to family and live with whatever consequence there is of that. Sorry for the confusion. I feel that although you can practice your way anywhere, the odds of living to be old are greater here and in a few other places, than just anyplace, and that is one of the reasons I put my life on the line low those many years ago. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/322 "2009-03-02T19:48:25Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I don’t know why you would think it’s “blindness” that makes me think the way I do. I am perfectly aware that I could kill people if I wanted to. I simply don’t consider it as an option in my arsenal. > > I also don’t consider all human life to be precious. That’s not the reason I am against killing. I’m against it because it chips away at our collective humanity. Which is fine with me. Like others, that is why I did what I did to make this a place where you can survive with that attitude. I do the get sense that it is all intellectual and you are looking down on from your position. I maintain that until you have been there, it is just empty talk. I hope you never have to find out. If you have buried a murdered child, I apologize. Or a raped sister. If not, you are just talkin… But even if you have been there, to talk down to those that do not feel the same from a 'I’m better than you" place which is what I get from your posts is way wrong… I try not to tell others that what they feel is wrong. Crazy, yes. Foolish, yes, that they don’t know what they are talking about because they have not actually done it. But if they come on all ‘better than’, I will call them on it because we are not talking about average stuff here. An saying from aviation states: “No airplane is impressed by a log book.” What you think / say you will do is way less impressive than what you have done. YMMV which is fine with me… Try to state in the future wither you have actually done what you say you will do or that you just hope you will. At this level of importance, I like to know when I’m told I am morally wrong by the critics… ---
**Author:** ![NoJustice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@NoJustice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoJustice)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/323 "2009-03-02T20:04:17Z")
I personally would go even further than MrDibble. I think all violence is wrong. I don’t draw some magical line at killing. I think whenever one person forces his will upon another, it does more harm than good and the world becomes a worse place as a result. And it’s more than just my personal choice for myself. I feel the world can only become a better place if people speak out against the flawed concept of justice. I am not trying to talk down to anyone. Just stating what I am convinced is true in the hopes that others will think about it, and hopefully reach the right conclusions… which will lead to actions which make the world better rather than worse. GusNSpot, you are not wrong to feel what you do. Feelings are never right or wrong. But the actions you advocate are a different matter. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/324 "2009-03-02T20:24:47Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > Which is fine with me. Like others, that is why I did what I did to make this a place where you can survive with that attitude. > I do the get sense that it is all intellectual and you are looking down on from your position. > > I maintain that until you have been there, it is just empty talk. I hope you never have to find out. If you have buried a murdered child, I apologize. Or a raped sister. > > If not, you are just talkin… > > But even if you have been there, to talk down to those that do not feel the same from a 'I’m better than you" place which is what I get from your posts is way wrong… I have been there. And funny, but I’m getting the exact same vibe from you. You feel you’re better than someone who won’t kill. You think you’re better than me because you served in combat or something. And _I’m_ the one talking down to others? _Really?_ > [@](#): > > I try not to tell others that what they feel is wrong. Crazy, yes. Foolish, yes, that they don’t know what they are talking about because they have not actually done it. But if they come on all ‘better than’, I will call them on it because we are not talking about average stuff here. Jeeeez…thanks for telling me I’m crazy and foolish but not “wrong.” 😕 > [@](#): > > An saying from aviation states: “No airplane is impressed by a log book.” > > What you think / say you will do is way less impressive than what you have done. > > YMMV which is fine with me… > > Try to state in the future wither you have actually done what you say you will do or that you just hope you will. At this level of importance, I like to know when I’m told I am morally wrong by the critics… We all have to live our lives as we see fit. My way is the right way for me. You don’t have to like it. I don’t need you to approve of whether or not I will kill people. If you did what you did so I can be free to not kill people, then what are you complaining about? Did you really think that fighting for my freedoms would make me think exactly like you? Or that somehow I have an obligation to do so? ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/325 "2009-03-03T01:07:01Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > In 1991, my 18 year old daughter was murdered. the DA would not arrest nor charge the guilty party because he was running for Lt. Gov and the time and he told the police, and the Lt. who was in charge of her case told me, because he did not want to have a possible loss as the proof was to circumstantial to suit him. It is still an open case. The guy has fled the country. There is that 1 in a million chance that the guy did not do it.. So I did not nor did my son kill him. I think we were wrong not to. I live with this every day. Underlining mine, 'cuz that’s the part I’m commenting on… First of all, you and I see eye to eye on so many things, and cross-eyed on so many others, **Gus**! 🙂 But in this case, I will tell you that EJ read that post today and agreed 100% that he would have killed the guy. Accepted the punishment for sure, but he would have done it. He even said it was better that the guy had fled, because he would still find him and waste him. Yes, there is that one in one million chance that he’d be killing the wrong guy. He’d still do it. I hear you and understand exactly what you’re saying. Justice rarely seems to happen in a courtroom, and I am saying that as the wife of a former DA. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/326 "2009-03-03T01:14:50Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I have been there. > ::: snip:::: Explain how you have been there, as I have… I told you what happened to me, what happened to you? ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/327 "2009-03-03T01:19:16Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > Underlining mine, 'cuz that’s the part I’m commenting on… > > First of all, you and I see eye to eye on so many things, and cross-eyed on so many others, **Gus**! 🙂 Yepper… 😉 > [@](#): > > But in this case, I will tell you that EJ read that post today and agreed 100% that he would have killed the guy. Accepted the punishment for sure, but he would have done it. He even said it was better that the guy had fled, because he would still find him and waste him. Yes, there is that one in one million chance that he’d be killing the wrong guy. He’d still do it. > > I hear you and understand exactly what you’re saying. Justice rarely seems to happen in a courtroom, and I am saying that as the wife of a former DA. Thank you for letting me know that. Also, when their child is threatened, Mom’s tend to get real cranky… May we continue to agree and disagree. More fun that way. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/328 "2009-03-03T01:23:52Z")
> [@NoJustice](#): > > I personally would go even further than MrDibble. > I think all violence is wrong. I don’t draw some magical line at killing. I think whenever one person forces his will upon another, it does more harm than good and the world becomes a worse place as a result. > > And it’s more than just my personal choice for myself. I feel the world can only become a better place if people speak out against the flawed concept of justice. > > I am not trying to talk down to anyone. Just stating what I am convinced is true in the hopes that others will think about it, and hopefully reach the right conclusions… which will lead to actions which make the world better rather than worse. > > GusNSpot, you are not wrong to feel what you do. Feelings are never right or wrong. But the actions you advocate are a different matter. That is cool and thanks for that. Do you have children or plan to have children? If so, will you or have you told them what you will not ever do for them? Or a SO? Or siblings? Or is it not their business? They have no right to know? Splain to me please. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/329 "2009-03-03T01:38:11Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > Explain how you have been there, as I have… I told you what happened to me, what happened to you? I was raped. ---
**Author:** ![NoJustice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@NoJustice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoJustice)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/330 "2009-03-03T04:10:24Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > That is cool and thanks for that. > > Do you have children or plan to have children? > > If so, will you or have you told them what you will not ever do for them? Or a SO? Or siblings? Or is it not their business? They have no right to know? > > Splain to me please. No I don’t have kids. I do have other family, and there isn’t much I’d do to protect them though I personally don’t care for them much so one can’t really judge from that 🙂 I’ve been pondering how exactly to explain this for a while… I think the question of “what would you do?” is entirely seperate from “what would it be RIGHT to do?” and frankly there isn’t much point in discussing the former. It’s impossible to proove anything, and entirely useless unless one considers what is right and wrong. I can say that I believe it is wrong/harmful to place more importance on the well-being of those you are close to over the well-being of those you don’t know. And the fact people consider loyalty to be a virtue is a source of much unneccessary conflict and suffering in the world. People need to stop making excuses for behavior which they know (or should know) is harmful. They don’t have to be perfect and never act out of fear or anger, but if they admitted that it was wrong instead of dressing it up like it’s something good/justified, they might just find it all that much easier to forgive the harmful actions of others. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/331 "2009-03-03T04:16:29Z")
> [@NoJustice](#): > > I can say that I believe it is wrong/harmful to place more importance on the well-being of those you are close to over the well-being of those you don’t know. How about placing more importance on the well-being of people who don’t rape, murder or steal from innocent people over the well-being of those who do? ---
**Author:** ![NoJustice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@NoJustice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoJustice)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/332 "2009-03-03T04:36:34Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > How about placing more importance on the well-being of people who don’t rape, murder or steal from innocent people over the well-being of those who do? People do the things they do for a reason. Not always (heck, not usually) a good reason, but a reason none the less. If you understand the real reason why a person does what he does, I think you’ll feel less compelled to treat them badly for their crimes. And if you don’t understand, the best policy is to just forgive their failings and try that much harder to avoid doing such harmful things yourself. I don’t think the things a person has done, or the things you think they will do, can ever be a valid reason to treat them badly. It’s all too easy to just divide the world into good and evil and do as much harm as you want to those you consider evil. But that has a lot of negative consequences. Often, that is precicely the flawed thinking which leads people to rape murder or steal. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/333 "2009-03-03T04:42:43Z")
> [@NoJustice](#): > > People do the things they do for a reason. Not always (heck, not usually) a good reason, but a reason none the less. If you understand the real reason why a person does what he does, I think you’ll feel less compelled to treat them badly for their crimes. And if you don’t understand, the best policy is to just forgive their failings and try that much harder to avoid doing such harmful things yourself. > > I don’t think the things a person has done, or the things you think they will do, can ever be a valid reason to treat them badly. It’s all too easy to just divide the world into good and evil and do as much harm as you want to those you consider evil. But that has a lot of negative consequences. Often, that is precicely the flawed thinking which leads people to rape murder or steal. So people have a good reason for genocide? ---
**Author:** ![NoJustice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@NoJustice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoJustice)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/334 "2009-03-03T05:03:08Z")
> [@Xan](#): > > So people have a good reason for genocide? A GOOD reason? nope. But to simply write them off as evil and deserving of mistreatment is to make a mistake very similar to the one that lead them to their own abhorrent actions. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/335 "2009-03-03T05:06:39Z")
> [@NoJustice](#): > > A GOOD reason? nope. But to simply write them off as evil and deserving of mistreatment is to make a mistake very similar to the one that lead them to their own abhorrent actions. So we shouldn’t try to stop them with lethal force to protect the lives of others? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/336 "2009-03-03T05:09:37Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > Explain how you have been there, as I have… I told you what happened to me, what happened to you? _Nothing_ happened to you. Things happened to your sister and your daughter. Like they happened to **Kalhoun** , like they happened to me, _not_ to someone in our family. So it’s kind of insulting for you to be speaking _ex cathedra_ about pain and suffering to us, of all people, thank you very much. And like I said, appeals to pity are a fallacy, anyway. They’re just empty rhetoric. ---
**Author:** ![NoJustice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@NoJustice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoJustice)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/337 "2009-03-03T05:33:12Z")
> [@Xan](#): > > So we shouldn’t try to stop them with lethal force to protect the lives of others? But then someone else would be equaly justified in using lethal force against you to protect the lives you are threatening. The logical flaw is the same with ANY use of force. People need to stop using the crimes of others as an excuse to commit the same acts themselves. You cannot control the choices of others, only your own. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/338 "2009-03-03T05:34:34Z")
> [@NoJustice](#): > > But then someone else would be equaly justified in using lethal force against you to protect the lives you are threatening. > > The logical flaw is the same with ANY use of force. People need to stop using the crimes of others as an excuse to commit the same acts themselves. You cannot control the choices of others, only your own. So you should just let someone kill you? ---
**Author:** ![NoJustice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecb155/32.png) [@NoJustice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoJustice)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/339 "2009-03-03T05:53:50Z")
> [@Xan](#): > > So you should just let someone kill you? you should look for nonviolent solutions. If someone is about to kill you 2 good options are: 1. Run like hell. 2. Try to reason with the person. One might assume they are beyond reason, but if they are thinking of killing you it might be because they are thinking the very same about you. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363/340 "2009-03-03T05:57:31Z")
> [@NoJustice](#): > > you should look for nonviolent solutions. If someone is about to kill you 2 good options are: > > 1. Run like hell. > 2. Try to reason with the person. One might assume they are beyond reason, but if they are thinking of killing you it might be because they are thinking the very same about you. I kill them first and ask questions later. I don’t care why someone is coming with a death squad to kill me. It’s kill or be killed. You can die if you want. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mother-sets-fire-to-her-daughters-gloating-rapist/487363.md?page=18)