# Motherfucking zombies! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141 "2003-05-23T23:30:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/41 "2003-05-26T02:53:15Z")
Urgent to Francis, Was it a Japanese restaurant? Do they by any chance feature fugu on the menu? Perhaps they were seeking revenge. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/42 "2003-05-26T02:54:59Z")
\>\>\>perhaps they were seeking revenge.\<\<\< Perhaps the Zombies were seeking revenge. …oops, Alt Backspace victim. New, small keyboard. Big fat head. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/43 "2003-05-26T18:12:18Z")
I think a SuperSoaker filled with salt water would work nicely. _pumppumppumppump_ _spritz_ _sound of zombies foaming and unearthly wails, etc_ ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/44 "2003-05-26T18:34:37Z")
Don’t try it with a supersaturated solution as listed above, though, because even though you get better initial results, there’s a good chance that the salt crystals will cool, fall out of solution and clog the barrel. It’s better to use one of those lawn-chemical sprayer attachments to your garden hose, since the glass canister can be kept warm and swapped out fairly easily. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/45 "2003-05-26T18:46:32Z")
If you have to employ salt water, you want to use **at least** one part table salt per eight parts water. A lower dilution may not have an immediate effect. Heating the water will allow you to concentrate the salt even further, up to about one part salt per four parts water, but then you run into the aforementioned crystallization problem and have to keep your solution at an elevated temperature, which can be difficult. Ordinary ocean water doesn’t have the salt concentration necessary to deter zombies significantly. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/46 "2003-05-26T19:14:43Z")
But for God’s sake don’t, **don’t** , **DON’T** go out looking for trouble with zombies on your own. If you encounter any, get away and call the police. These tips may be helpful for home defense, but they won’t do you any good if you insist in putting yourself in danger. The thing about zombies is, there’s always more of them than you expect. If you’re one of these kids today who think zombie-baiting is a “hoot,” chances are you’re going to wind up joining their numbers, and adding to the problem. A word to the wise… ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/47 "2003-05-26T19:41:36Z")
**FranticMad** is right. I’m so tired of such bigoted talk. _Yes_ zombies happen to eat brains, but they’re as much victims of the [Umbrella Corporation](http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/residentevil/), glowing meteors, and satanic rituals as the rest of us! Can’t we all just [get along?](http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2000-02-04&res=l) ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/48 "2003-05-26T20:02:15Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/49 "2003-05-26T21:33:03Z")
Have any of you pro-salt guys tried loading a shotgun with rock salt and using it on the zombies? That would make for an interesting experiment. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/50 "2003-05-26T21:38:59Z")
Hmm…so it would! ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/51 "2003-05-27T00:50:25Z")
I was thinking a saturated solution, actually. A supersatuated one would indeed have to be kept at a high temperature, but if you filled a SuperSoaker with hot salt water, I bet you could use all the water before the it cooled enough to start crystallizing. And you could have an assistant to fill your backup SuperSoaker while you kick some zombie ass. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/52 "2003-05-27T01:15:08Z")
I just worry that people are going to think that salt water works on zombies like holy water does in those vampire movies, and get all cocky. But a saturated solution does have a deterrent effect, so a Supersoaker might indeed help to nudge zombies away from your property. I’ve never tried one myself, but it sounds like it should work. Just make sure it shoots out to at least 20 yards, and make sure it isn’t your only means of defense. I’ve never heard of the radar range idea, either. Sounds promising! I’ll have to run that one by an electrician friend of mine. As far as salt rounds for the shotgun go, frankly I’d advise against it. It sounds like a really good way to jam up your weapon, and I don’t imagine that a salt round would do appreciably more damage than a regular shell. It would seem to me that the risks would outweigh the benefits. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/53 "2003-05-27T01:38:11Z")
You think you have problems. You have no idea the havoc this last outbreak of Triffids has wreaked on our Garden Society. ---
**Author:** ![Greyson3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/258eb7/32.png) [@Greyson3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greyson3)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/54 "2003-05-27T01:39:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by betenoir \* > \*\*You think you have problems. > > You have no idea the havoc this last outbreak of Triffids has wreaked on our Garden Society. \*\* You know, it feels like you’re not taking us seriously. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/55 "2003-05-27T23:47:32Z")
Or those Damn Kobolds. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/56 "2003-05-28T00:07:06Z")
Zombies? _ZOMBIES_?!?! Bah - if I find _one more_ werewolf in my back yard, I tell you I’m letting the dog loose on him instead of being nice with the silver bullets. Bah! Kids today… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/57 "2003-05-28T00:48:33Z")
Well now, me, I’m still a big fan of the ol’ ‘chemical incendiary arrows’ bit. Worked for me for years and the practice had made my game hunting out of this world. ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/58 "2003-05-28T11:50:20Z")
Everyone knows the best way to divert zombies is to distract them with guacamole, hummus and similar brain substitutes while you get in your helicopter and fly to a small island in the Dead Sea. ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/59 "2003-05-28T13:43:29Z")
> [@](#): > > But for God’s sake don’t, don’t, DON’T go out looking for trouble with zombies on your own. If you encounter any, get away and call the police. These tips may be helpful for home defense, but they won’t do you any good if you insist in putting yourself in danger. The thing about zombies is, there’s always more of them than you expect. If you’re one of these kids today who think zombie-baiting is a “hoot,” chances are you’re going to wind up joining their numbers, and adding to the problem. A word to the wise… No. bleeeaah. I, a normal, live human being, gahhhhhlll would recommend highly that people raaawgll fleh brains go hunt zombies. Much of what has been written in this thread is nothing but mmmmmgrah filthy lies. We rrrrrrr - I mean _they_ are **perfectly safe**. They will not brainsbrains hurt you. They will not feast upon your brains yum fleh brains. Such large brains, you living Dopers have. Yes. Large. Ah…I have to go now.slurrrrp mmmr brains cecil’s brain mmm ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141/60 "2003-05-28T14:10:23Z")
Medically speaking, it is one of the curiosities of science that the same virus that usually causes conjunctivitis can have such an extreme effect in some of the newly dead. I believe some of the HLA genes have been recently genetically linked to zombiitic susceptibility. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/motherfucking-zombies/177141.md?page=4)