# Mothers, please teach your daughters... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472 "2011-05-02T13:51:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/1 "2011-05-02T13:51:50Z")
I beg you. Please, please, please, teach your daughters that handicap restroom stalls are for, uh, the handicapped. I was in no less than four public restrooms this weekend and every. single. time. there was a 13-year-old girl using the one and only handicap stall. There were 45 empty regular stalls that Precious could have used, but instead she chose the one stall that is the only one that I can use. Are we that inconsiderate of others that this should even have to be said? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/2 "2011-05-02T14:02:58Z")
Sorry, no. There’s a difference between handicapped _reserved and handicapped accessible. Now run and teach your daughter that_. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/3 "2011-05-02T14:10:05Z")
Oh, _snap_. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/4 "2011-05-02T14:17:25Z")
Well, it’s a bit rude to take up the handicapped stall if you don’t need it AND there are plenty of regular stalls available. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/5 "2011-05-02T14:20:19Z")
It’s incredibly rude to use it if there’s other stalls available. If there aren’t any others available, then I think anybody who needs it should get first priority but if there’s nobody who specifically needs it around, then go for it. Apparently they missed “if there’s other stalls, use them.” Annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/6 "2011-05-02T14:20:26Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Sorry, no. There’s a difference between handicapped _reserved and handicapped accessible. Now run and teach your daughter that_. There’s also a difference between teaching your daughter to be a considerate human and an entitled brat. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/7 "2011-05-02T14:23:45Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Sorry, no. There’s a difference between handicapped _reserved and handicapped accessible. Now run and teach your daughter that_. Damn, that is just _rude_. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/8 "2011-05-02T14:28:55Z")
Who promised handicapped people that they’d never have to wait for a stall like the rest of humanity? If you’re that incontinent, then you need to be wearing a bag. I’m claustrophobic, and I will use the handicapped stall if it’s available. And I won’t feel bad about it. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/9 "2011-05-02T14:32:01Z")
You’d better watch out for colostomy bags flying over the stall wall. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/10 "2011-05-02T14:36:39Z")
I always use the handicapped stall too–I like the extra space. I’m always quick and have never had anyone waiting for me when I come out. Like Alice said, just because it’s accessible doesn’t make it reserved. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/11 "2011-05-02T14:37:09Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > You’d better watch out for colostomy bags flying over the stall wall. Handicapped people are like untrained monkeys, flinging their feces at will? I don’t think so. This issue is just not something to get het up about, really. It’s a bathroom stall. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/12 "2011-05-02T14:39:07Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > You’d better watch out for colostomy bags flying over the stall wall. % Girls become lovers, and turn into colostomy bags, so mothers be good to your colostomy bags, too % ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/13 "2011-05-02T14:45:02Z")
I totally agree that if there are other stalls that can be used, and you don’t need the handicap-accessible stall, use the others available. But, if we’re playing devil’s advocate (and I usually do,) many, many businesses put their fold-down diapering stations in the handicap stall (and that’s often the only logical spot.) With a 1-year-old, that’s often my only option besides changing the baby on the floor or in a more public spot. Naturally, if someone wheeled in right behind me, I’d wait for her before changing the diaper, but I often have to use that stall. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/14 "2011-05-02T14:59:29Z")
Why jump to the conclusion that she’s an entitled brat? Maybe the other stalls were full when she came in. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/15 "2011-05-02T15:16:50Z")
[Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=601059) with a poll I took on the subject. If other stalls are available, a person should not use the handicapped stall. If there is a line with a handicapped person in it, they should get first dibs on the handicapped stall. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/16 "2011-05-02T15:18:16Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > I totally agree that if there are other stalls that can be used, and you don’t need the handicap-accessible stall, use the others available. But, if we’re playing devil’s advocate (and I usually do,) many, many businesses put their fold-down diapering stations in the handicap stall (and that’s often the only logical spot.) With a 1-year-old, that’s often my only option besides changing the baby on the floor or in a more public spot. Naturally, if someone wheeled in right behind me, I’d wait for her before changing the diaper, but I often have to use that stall. And I’ll use it if I need space to change - which I will sometimes find myself doing in a public restroom. I agree that if you CAN use a different stall (they are available and you don’t need the space/changing table or the larger stall) its rude to use the HA stall. However, I agree, it isn’t handicapped reserved. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/17 "2011-05-02T15:20:01Z")
What I try very hard to teach my daughters is that they should be _considerate_ of others. That may mean offering up their seat to an elderly person or a woman holding an infant. It may mean offering up their cell phone to someone who is stranded, or offering to take a photograph of a couple at a landmark. It may mean letting a person out of a side street in the middle of a traffic jam. Consideration comes in many forms. And if parents make it a priority to show examples of how to be considerate in their everyday life, they won’t need to teach kids hard-and-fast rules such as “Don’t park in a handicapped space.” They’ll figure it out all on their own. In this case, their upbringing will tell them that it’s perfectly okay to use a handicapped-accessible restroom unless someone with a more pressing need is in line. And that “more pressing need” includes a myriad of possibilities: someone in a wheelchair, an obese person, a woman with a young child in tow, a pregnant lady… However, absent a person with a pressing need, they should go ahead and use the handicapped accessible restroom. Because, by definition, it ALSO accomodates non-handicapped people. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/18 "2011-05-02T15:20:05Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > % Girls become lovers, > and turn into colostomy bags, > so mothers be good to your colostomy bags, too % Thread winner! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/19 "2011-05-02T15:33:28Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Why jump to the conclusion that she’s an entitled brat? Maybe the other stalls were full when she came in. 45 stalls were evacuated simultaneously? What is this, a horse race? ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472/20 "2011-05-02T15:39:38Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > I beg you. Please, please, please, teach your daughters that handicap restroom stalls are for, uh, the handicapped. > > There were 45 empty regular stalls that Precious could have used, but instead she chose the one stall that is the only one that I can use. Are you a doctor to have instantly detected that Precious herself didn’t have a hidden disability? Maybe she used that one, because it was the only one that she could use, too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mothers-please-teach-your-daughters/580472.md?page=2)