People with balance or certain back problems might need grab bars to safely get up and down from a toilet. Falling down and being unable to get up is awful - having it happen in a toilet stall is worse. Think about lying on the floor of a public toilet and having to wait until some stranger comes in and is willing to help you get up again. Pretty horrible thought, isn’t it?
There are people in this world who actually have to worry about these things.
Courteous people, able bodied or not, are capable of saying “I’ll be done as soon as I can” if they know someone is waiting. Likewise, don’t dawdle. We all know some trips to the bathroom take more time than others but there’s necessary time and then there’s just killing time.
Well…no, not really. If I were to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find myself confined to life in a wheelchair, there is no doubt that it would in many ways make my life a lot more difficult. But if I had to use a public bathroom and I found myself in the position of having to wait for a few minutes until one was available to me - well, that would probably be the least of my adjustment worries. It has certainly happened to me enough times as an able bodied person that I would not suddenly find it an ‘omigod! I have to wait for a stall!!’ totally new experience! And if urinary and/or fecal urgency was symptomatic of my disability, I would definitely not be depending on the availability of handicap accessible bathrooms and/or the kindness of strangers to spare myself embarrassment. I would make allowances for that possibility ahead of time.
I don’t see that this is a valid issue. Handicap accessible bathroom facilities are a good thing. That doesn’t mean that they should only be available to the handicapped. Public bathroom ‘real estate’ is often limited, especially for females. I have been in many in which there are only two stalls, one of which is the handicap accessible one and the other one a cramped little closet. In which case, I have sometimes used the bigger stall, because I’m pretty sure that the odds that a disabled person is suddenly going to hot wheel it into the bathroom with an urgent disability specific need during the minute or so that I’m taking care of business - well, vanishingly small. In fact, its never happened in my experience, no matter which stall I was using - and well, let’s just say I am not young. I’ve used more than a few public bathrooms in my day.
Of course, if I were disabled in such a manner, I would certainly appreciate it if people were to go a bit above and beyond, in order to accommodate my needs. That would be generous and magnanimous. But I’m pretty sure that I would not suddenly feel ‘entitled’ to be treated better than a ‘normal’ person just because of that. In fact, I thought that the whole idea behind it was to give the disabled the same consideration that the rest of us get. And, sometimes, that’s just not all that much…
If you’ve got a legitimate reason for using a handicapped stall then use it, that’s what it’s there for. No complaints if you’re changing a diaper and that’s where the diaper station is, or a woman is heavily pregnant (or even not so heavily pregnant) or you have a toddler in tow. But those reasons are going to be pretty apparent to anyone with half a brain. Likewise, I’ll tend assume anyone in the handicap stall needs it in some way or another because I want to believe people are courteous and reasonable even though I know damn well some people are asshats.
But I tell you what, all you people who think the disabled can just wait an extra 20 seconds - next time my husband takes a shit down his jeans because he just could not get into a stall in time because some jackass was too busy ready the newspaper or talking on the phone or texting YOU can carry the spare trousers in to him (we keep a pair in the trunk because, unfortunately, this can happen) and carry out the plastic bag full of shit-covered underwear and blue jeans and socks and shoes, m’kay? Is it a deal? Go back to your oh-so-important business, because you don’t have to worry about such situations.
If that happens because some guy in a wheelchair got to the only open stall first, or someone is changing a baby’s diaper, well, that’s just bad luck. If it happens because some able-bodied person was getting all self-righteous - here, hold this, but don’t open the bag.
If any other stall is open I’ll use it before I use the handicapped one, because I have some clue that others have more need of it than I do.
So then if those few seconds are that important, perhaps he should get to the bathroom earlier next time? Or actually speak up and tell the person in the stall that it’s an emergency. You know, like able-bodied people have to do when they have a sudden emergency and *they *have to wait on line.
And how do you think that is done?
Every incontinence device can malfunction or leak. It’s a feature of many incontinence conditions that you don’t get warning, for those who are paralyzed they might no be able to feel when they need to go, or even that they are going. It can be “what’s that noise? Oh that smell - uh, oh, excuse me” followed by frantic wheeling down the hallway.
Until you live with this yourself, or with someone who has to deal with it, it’s hard to understand that there are people who really don’t have any control over their bladders or bowels. Even many people who have some control may still have sudden, abrupt accidents. “Sparing yourself embarrassment” means having a plan to deal with WHEN such an accident happens, not if, because for such people such accidents are almost inevitable. It would really suck to make to the rest room in time only to be stopped by someone able-bodied using the stall you need and saying “Hey, you can’t wait another half a minute” when you can’t.
I suppose we could back to the days when handicapped people were kept hidden away in back bedrooms and never allowed out… but I suspect not many who are handicapped would want that. Neither would many of us able-bodied ones who give a damn about someone disabled.
That’s rather difficult, as he is physically unable to run, and walks with a severe limp that seriously impedes his speed. That sort of goes along with spinal damage, his legs don’t work as well as yours.
Oh, he does - I’ve seen him go into bathrooms bellowing that it’s an emergency and he really needs to use a toilet RIGHT NOW! Sometimes people pay attention, sometimes they say “fuck you, you can fucking wait until I feel like leaving.” Nothing wrong with his lungs.
But unlike an able-bodied person he doesn’t get much warning when he needs to go. He tries to schedule his bodily functions and traveling to minimize such risks, but sometimes shit just happens on its own schedule.
Well, sure, so do I, but my point was that situations aren’t always cut and dried. I mean, does my toddler trump Annie’s broken arm? Or am I going to get the same smack in the mouth she was going to give to someone who’s quickly changing their clothes in there? I think it’s not necessarily rude to judge quickly whether or not there’s likely to be a handicapped person who desperately needs the stall coming along in the next few minutes,and decide to use that stall because it might be more convenient for you. A young girl who used it because no one else was around and who wasn’t camping out in there texting is maybe mildly rude, but I don’t think it’s the worst offense in the world.
It’s a spectrum - dashing into the handicap stall and doing your business quickly is pretty mild. Camping out there is a different story.
A handicapped person who needs that stall constantly running into occupied ones is like an able-bodied person who needs to piss but keeps encountering “out of order” signs. It’s frustrating and the person concerned tends to get cranky.
The thing is, many handicapped people have nerve damage. They don’t get very much advance warning. And when they do get whatever warning they get, the signal is much, much more urgent. It’s not just “I gotta pee sometime in the next half hour” it’s more like “I gotta pee in the next couple of minutes”.
This. It seems that there are more campers than dashers.
For those who think that the handicapped can just hold it, I suggest to you a full dose of GoLytely (yeah, that whole gallon), 120 MGs of furosemide, and then go on a ten mile hike. You will find out what “urgent need” is. It’s not the normal urgency, it’s the kind where you WILL mess your pants. Remember many handicapped (as well as the ablebodied) have to take medication which might cause bowel dumping. I took Glucophage for six months, and one of the known side effects is liquid bowel movements. Some people can adjust to this, some can’t. But messing one’s pants is not pleasant. And not particularly healthy, either. Even if the patient is wearing a diaper, well, it’s not great to clean up.
If you suffer a condition from an urgent and unexpected need to use a restroom, then you’re going to have to learn to speak up, whether your are wheelchair bound or not. Twice as an adult, I have shat in my pants because I couldn’t get to a restroom in time. Such was life with IBS.
If you suffer from a condition that requires special treatment, then the burden is on you to communicate this to the folks in queue so that you can cut to the front of the line. To the public’s credit, I’ve never witnesssed a crowd who denied a person an urgent request to cut in line. I’ve also never witnessed a crowd who wouldn’t allow a wheelchaired person to move to the front of the line and get first dibs on the accessible stall.
I think that’s reasonable and fair. What is not fair or reasonable is to expect a crowd of people to refrain from using a wheelchair-accessible stall based on the one in hundred thousand chance that a wheelchair bound person with incontinence issues would wheel in and need it immediately.
Last night I was at San Francisco airport. The bathroom stalls are big enough for several people and their wheeled luggage - the regular stalls, not the handicapped! It was stunning. The toilet was probably five feet back from the door. I’ve seen kitchens that were smaller. And the automatic faucet actually came on when you put your hands under it.
I’m all for courtesy, but let’s not forget common sense. If someone has fecal urgency and “leakage” to the extent shared here, then perhaps one of the many, many types of adult diapers would be the way to go, as a method of protection?
Given the alternative (shit stained clothes etc), they seem a simple solution to an embarrassing and difficult problem.
Just sayin’.
Ideally, couldn’t all stalls be made with handle bars for people who need them? I can understand that it’s not feasible for ALL stalls to be handicap accessible (although I could certainly see how that would be a plus!), that might help for those who don’t need the extra space, but need to steady themselves.
Or maybe just make the stalls a wee bigger, and make them MORE accessible?
(Note: I only use the handicap stall if all of the others are full. As that’s rarely the case, I rarely use it. Please don’t hit me in the mouth) 
I quoted your entire post to agree with it, but I could have as easily quoted Alice the Goon’s initial post. Sure, she was much less diplomatic in her response, but sometimes that is fucking refreshing.
As for me, I don’t use handicapped stalls because I just don’t want to be in the position of having that tiny chance that a disabled person will be standing outside the stall, face wet with tears, pants wet with urine.
Appropriate username/thread.
Well, I know a woman called Nzinga, Hovering. She’s a jerk, though. Leaves pee droplets on the seat of the handicapped stall.
I heard she changed her name to Nzinga, Seated, so no one would suspect her.
Well, yes, I’d be all for that. Make all stalls full accessible, or make them bigger than shoeboxes so fewer able-bodied or nearly-normal people would feel compelled to use the fully accessible ones. That would be fantastic.
I think it tends to be about empathy, and forward thinking. Some people just don’t give any thought towards anyone else, regardless of the situation. Some rely on judgement, such as ‘this place doesn’t look very busy, I think I can fly first class and it shouldn’t bother anyone else.’
For example, where I work, there is no-one I know who needs to use a handicapped stall, well except me now since I crushed my heel yesterday. But before that I would happily use the bigger stall at any time.
In another venue, not so likely.
In my line of work I am often required to park illegally to do my job, the physics of site lines and cable runs are important in live tv.
But I NEVER park in a handicapped spot, or in front of a fire hydrant. Those are sacred spots. Bathroom stalls? Circumstances may vary, but in general they should be left available if it can be done.