# Move over Caligula, big budget porn movies have a new champion **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976 "2005-09-23T00:08:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/1 "2005-09-23T00:08:23Z")
And its name be [Pirates.](http://www.piratesxxx.com/) ‘Tiss a tale of the sea, of scurvy dogs and wenches, settin’ sail round the world, stealing treasure, and fucking like a bunch o’ dogs in heat, it be. ---
**Author:** ![Coin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Coin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/2 "2005-09-23T00:18:46Z")
I call dibs on the “plundering booty” joke! as soon as I think of a way to make it funny. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/3 "2005-09-23T00:47:57Z")
I take it there’s some swordplay in this flick? [snicker] > [@bouv](#): > > Move over Caligula, big budget porn movies have a new champion Big budget, maybe, but a regular-ish “movie” with mainstream actors, er, no. **Pirates** is still just a storyline porno (not that there’s anything wrong with that). **Caligula** remains on top in that respect. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/4 "2005-09-23T01:26:35Z")
Goddammit, I keep trying to come up with a “15 men on a dead man’s chest” joke but it keeps turning out all necrophiliac. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/5 "2005-09-23T01:27:47Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > **Caligula** remains on top Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/6 "2005-09-23T01:32:45Z")
I wonder what they’ll have to cut to get an Arrrrr! rating? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/7 "2005-09-23T01:33:01Z")
They did that with Dream Quest. Something about watching monsters having sex with women was decidedly unsexy and unerotic. Although it might be interesting to watch a skeleton and a woman. Hmm? We need a stroking beard smilie as that’s what I’m doing. \<— straight line ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/8 "2005-09-23T01:35:27Z")
> [@Fern Forest](#): > > They did that with Dream Quest. Something about watching monsters having sex with women was decidedly unsexy and unerotic. > > Although it might be interesting to watch a skeleton and a woman.[/SIZE] I guess, if you watch porn for the boners. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/9 "2005-09-23T01:39:59Z")
Will it be aboard _The Raging Queen_? What of the poor cabin boy? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/10 "2005-09-23T01:55:12Z")
Actually, Jenna Jameson did a [big budget hardcore pirate flick called Conquest](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0136759/) back in 1997. So we aren’t exactly breaking new ground here. And the thing that made Caligula kinda different was that they had mainstream A level actors like Malcolm MacDowell and Helen Mirren in on it. They didn’t do hardcore of course, but they did some pretty raunchy stuff, like MacDowell and Mirren doing some softcore sex doggie style. Kinda reminds me of that HBO series “Rome” come to think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/11 "2005-09-23T02:22:02Z")
_Tommy Loy: the Movie_. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/12 "2005-09-23T03:57:54Z")
> [@Fern Forest](#): > > \<— straight line You know, surprisingly most pirates weren’t…uh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/13 "2005-09-23T04:02:07Z")
That’s some impressive imagery for a medium budget porn film! ANd I’m not talking about the womanflesh on display, either. They’ve put an awful lot of effort into it. It’s a shame the acting and sex will be irritatingly glammed up standard porn. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/14 "2005-09-23T04:16:39Z")
I’d watch it. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/15 "2005-09-23T08:01:13Z")
Holy fucking shit. This movie actually looks _better_ than Pirates of the Carribean (which I hated and which I actually fell asleep during.) I believe it was the two-hour long skeleton swordfight with the overused blue-gray color pallette that bored me the most. I can actually see myself enjoying **Pirates** as a movie, not just as a porno. ---
**Author:** ![priapus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@priapus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/priapus)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/16 "2005-09-23T08:13:41Z")
It will do til Busty Cops 2 comes out ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/17 "2005-09-23T11:56:03Z")
It wasn’t just Malcolm McDowell that made **Caligula** such an event – it had **Peter O’Toole** and **John Gielgud** (!!!) – although they were not, of course, in the porn sections. But the real killer was that **Gore Vidal** wrote the original screenplay – the same Vidal who gave us **Julian** and **Creation**. They jettisoned his stuff and added a lot of porn. I still can’t believe they threw away all that talent to make a porn epic. ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/18 "2005-09-23T11:58:27Z")
Good Lord: those women are UGLY! It’s almost enough to put me off porn altogether. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/19 "2005-09-23T12:32:58Z")
> [@seosamh](#): > > Good Lord: those women are UGLY! It’s almost enough to put me off porn altogether. Ditto. Too fake, too (fake) blonde. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/20 "2005-09-23T12:36:48Z")
> [@seosamh](#): > > Good Lord: those women are UGLY! It’s almost enough to put me off porn altogether. Now, let’s not get too hasty there. Don’t wanna do anything you’ll regret later. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976.md?page=2)