# Move over Caligula, big budget porn movies have a new champion **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976 "2005-09-23T00:08:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/21 "2005-09-23T13:43:07Z")
I said _almost_ … ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/22 "2005-09-23T15:29:56Z")
Having seen _Conquest_, I have to say it’s pretty good. The sex is pretty generic, but the sets and costumes (and even swordfights) are pretty good. The new one? Eh. I agree. Too blonde, too fake. Or, as (I believe) a local DJ said, “They look like women female impersonators.” ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/23 "2005-09-23T15:43:22Z")
A good ol’ jolly rogering all round, nice. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/24 "2005-09-23T15:58:45Z")
Shiver me timber ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/25 "2005-09-23T18:07:14Z")
Grrr. Had quicktime 6, upgraded to watch the preview, and now can’t watch it. Grr. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/26 "2005-09-23T18:13:50Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Will it be aboard _The Raging Queen_? What of the poor cabin boy? It’s his turn in the barrel… with Jenna! ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/27 "2005-09-24T02:41:25Z")
This film was directed by a true dongmonger! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/28 "2005-09-24T03:40:38Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > I wonder what they’ll have to cut to get an Arrrrr! rating? > > I guess, if you watch porn for the boners. > > Daniel That’d be two of yer scurvy puns in this thread alone to churn me bowels. Batten it down, ye lubber, or I’ll have ye keelhauled! Now, fair wenches, avast! I be hoistin’ me mizzen… ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/29 "2005-09-24T06:05:08Z")
I’m wondering if there’s going to be a new meaning to the term _‘fist full o’ gold_. That could go a few different ways. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/30 "2005-09-24T17:15:22Z")
> [@GrizzRich](#): > > I’m wondering if there’s going to be a new meaning to the term _‘fist full o’ gold_. I’m trying to think of a good joke for “pieces of eight”, but they’re all lame oral puns. Anyhow, I don’t think this cast is big enough to support much more than a three-way, so orgy references are right out as well. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/31 "2005-09-24T17:23:44Z")
Eh. _Pirates of the Carribean_ had plenty of C&B\* for me. Daniel \*Chest and Booty ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/32 "2005-09-24T17:55:17Z")
I’m not so sure, however, that 18th century piratettes had collagen and silicon enhancements, let alone shaved parts and tattos in close vincinity of said shaved parts. ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/33 "2005-09-24T19:00:04Z")
I seem to recall hearing back in the day that Caligula was originally done as an historic epic, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Then Bob Guccione had all the porno stuff spliced in, unbeknownst to Coppola who subsequently had his name legally removed from the project. Or something like that. Can anyone confirm or debunk that story? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/34 "2005-09-24T20:06:06Z")
Is it just me, or does the second chick from the left look like Christina Aguilera? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/35 "2005-09-24T20:23:00Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Is it just me, or does the second chick from the left look like Christina Aguilera? No, no, you both do. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/36 "2005-09-24T20:35:20Z")
I’ll bet they ‘walk the plank’ a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/37 "2005-09-24T20:55:25Z")
And swabbing the poop deck will take on a whole new dimension. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/38 "2005-09-24T21:07:05Z")
Man, them are some ugly plasticky chiquitas. Give me Euro porn any day. > [@Scruloose](#): > > Can anyone confirm or debunk that story _about Caligula_? [Sort of, but not exactly](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0080491/trivia). It wasn’t Coppola, but the director (and writer) did disown the production. Neither did it for the hardcore sex, though. See the link, the first big paragraph about a third of the way down. And for anyone who’s curious, _Caligula_ isn’t worth sitting through, despite its notoriety. It’s one of those movies with such a reputation that people feel like they _have_ to see what it’s about; but afterward you just feel dumb for having been suckered by the rep. It’s long and boring and pretty stupid. Still, the lure is so powerful that until you’ve seen it for yourself, nobody will be able to convince you it isn’t worth seeing. Oh, and _Conquest_ is pretty good, though there are a few scenes where it’s hard to enjoy the sex while you’re worrying about the performers getting sand into their moist bits. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/39 "2005-09-24T21:08:16Z")
Sorry about the inadvertent modification to **Scruloose** ’s quote. I was trying to code it as an emendation, i.e. “can anyone confirm or debunk that story _[about Caligula]_” and I screwed it up. ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976/40 "2005-09-24T22:12:09Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Man, them are some ugly plasticky chiquitas. Give me Euro porn any day. > [Sort of, but not exactly](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0080491/trivia). It wasn’t Coppola, but the director (and writer) did disown the production. Neither did it for the hardcore sex, though. See the link, the first big paragraph about a third of the way down. > > And for anyone who’s curious, _Caligula_ isn’t worth sitting through, despite its notoriety. It’s one of those movies with such a reputation that people feel like they _have_ to see what it’s about; but afterward you just feel dumb for having been suckered by the rep. It’s long and boring and pretty stupid. Still, the lure is so powerful that until you’ve seen it for yourself, nobody will be able to convince you it isn’t worth seeing. Ah - thanks for the link. And I completely agree with your point about seeing the film. Curiosity got the best of me when I was 19 and I saw the movie. B-O-R-I-N-G. I’ll never get that, what - 7 hours? back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/move-over-caligula-big-budget-porn-movies-have-a-new-champion/322976.md?page=3)