# MOVIE CHALLENGE: Describe a movie in five words or less **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 29, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136 "2005-11-29T00:05:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/21 "2005-11-29T02:08:58Z")
> [@Palooka](#): > > **Snakes on a Plane** : It’s snakes on a plane. That’s all we asked for, and that’s all we got. Spider-man: Nerdy kid gets super powers. X-Men: Mutant freaks save the world. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/22 "2005-11-29T02:10:16Z")
_Roger and Me_: The Moore and the Profits _Bowling for Columbine_: Gospel according to Moore _Fahrenheit 9/11_: Revelation of Moore the Divine ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/23 "2005-11-29T02:13:16Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Koyaanisqatsi: What the fuck was that? That’s the most concise and accurate review I’ve ever read of that documentary. INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE: Gay immortals whine about stuff. DEEP IMPACT: Extraterrestrial rock threatens civilization. Explosions. ARMAGEDDON: See ‘Deep Impact’. Add Affleck. GOOD WILL HUNTING: Mork counsels brilliant cute delinquent. WAR OF THE WORLDS: Dakota Fanning Screams, Tom runs. CITIZEN KANE: Get this man a sled! DIARY OF ANNE FRANK: Kitty- must run, someone’s knocking. THE COLOR PURPLE: Oprah’s fat; men are pigs. TRAFFIC: Coke from Mexico to California. CATWOMAN: Halle’s hot… otherwise skip it. BATMAN BEGINS: Chiroptophobic billionaire seeks vengeance, meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/24 "2005-11-29T03:05:23Z")
Crying Game: My girlfriend has a penis The Usual Suspects: He’s a con man, duh! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/25 "2005-11-29T03:13:15Z")
> [@Linty Fresh](#): > > Crying Game: My girlfriend has a penis Also a rejected title for Anne Heche’s autobiography. (Oh wait, that’s _My **New** Girlfriend Has a Penis_, which is six words- my bad.) ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/26 "2005-11-29T03:33:30Z")
Phantom of The Opera: Ugly man propositions girl; rejected. The Hulk: Angry man turns green. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/27 "2005-11-29T03:55:36Z")
Raiders of the Lost Ark: Holy box found. Bad Nazis! Temple of Doom: Holy Stones found. Bad mystics! Last Crusade: Holy Grail found. Bad Nazis! Battle Royale: Youth = bad; Give them guns! Battle Royale 2: Youth = bad; Give others guns! House of Flying Daggers: Who’s good, who’s bad? Uhm. Hero: Like Roshomon, but with fighting. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/28 "2005-11-29T03:56:53Z")
Ack. **Rashomon**. It’s not my day. ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Broken\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Wind)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/29 "2005-11-29T04:00:12Z")
BLAZING SADDLES: Dumb whities tell nigger jokes. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN: Violin doctor gets monster schlong. SPACEBALLS: Dark Helmet. Schwartz. Yogurt. Classic. ---
**Author:** ![Baine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Baine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baine)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/30 "2005-11-29T05:01:58Z")
JAWS: Shark eats people and explodes. EDWARD SCISSORHANDS: Misunderstood Goth kid cuts hedges. E.T. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL: Boy befriends alien. FBI investigates. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/31 "2005-11-29T05:46:32Z")
The Sixth Sense - Bruce doesn’t know he’s dead ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/32 "2005-11-29T05:50:08Z")
**Freaks** : Carnies dress down a golddigger. **Plan 9 From Outer Space** : Aliens revive corpses… and Lugosi. **Bedazzled** [original]: Hash-slinger saves sold soul. **The Planet of the Apes** [original]: Dirty apes, unhand Charlton Heston! **Woodstock** : Every Boomer was there, _man_. **The Wicker Man** : Pious policeman pays pagans’ piper. **Chinatown** : She’s her sis _and_ daughter. **Jaws** : Shark claims another “Indianapolis” survivor. **Saturday Night Fever** : The judging hustled the competition. **Rocky** : Lost fight, won Adrian, yo! **Airplane!** : Sling gags; see what sticks. **Dead Ringers** : Sleazy twin gynecologists’ death spiral. **Withnail & I** : Two drunks enter a bar… **Repo Man** : So-Cal punks find hot Eldorado. **Ed Wood** : Oddballs stick together, making turkeys. **Mrs. Parker and Her Vicious Circle** : Algonquin wits live bittersweet lives. **Impromptu** : Pen is mightier than “sword”? **Cleopatra** : How to bankrupt a studio. **Cleopatra** [the porn flick]: Caligula would have wept. **American Gigolo** : Gere goes full-frontal. **Basic Instinct** : Brazen hussy flashes pussy. **Independence Day** : Apple laptop saves the planet. **Rushmore** : Senior-high bizarre love triangle. **Being John Malkovich** : Kaufman scripts strange trip. **Miracle** : Team USA beats Soviets… _again_! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/33 "2005-11-29T06:40:00Z")
PRETTY WOMAN: Streetwalker wins billionaire. Yeah… right. STEEL MAGNOLIAS: Beauty shop sees seasonal melodrama. ERIN BROCKOVICH: Lawyers get ridiculous percentages. Yea! HARVEY: Charming schizophrenic embarasses sister. BIRDCAGE: Aging gay couple played safely. SIMON BIRCH: Prayer for Owen Meany, condensed. WILDE: Frye great, Jude’s bare butt! ELIZABETHTOWN: Orlando without a sword. Meh. CITY SLICKERS 2: Curly’s twin? Quit while ahead. GODFATHER 2: Vito. Michael. 1920s. 1950s. Excellent. STAR WARS- THE PHANTOM MENACE: Midichlorians? Bitch, is you trippin’? STAR WARS- ATTACK OF THE CLONES: Mediocre, but Yoda kicks ass! STAR WARS- REVENGE OF THE SITH: Plotline, Christensen’s acting, dialogue- Noooooooooooo! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/34 "2005-11-29T07:02:42Z")
_King Kong_ (1976): Monkey die, everybody cry. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/35 "2005-11-29T07:13:49Z")
LOST IN TRANSLATION: Self pitying rich Americans philander (or, “Destroyer of Godfather attacks Tokyo”). KILL BILL: Lucy, Uma, Vivica, Sonny… Fight! KILL BILL 2: Carradine rocks one last time. AMADEUS: Genius drives mediocrity murderously mad (or “Abraham sounds like Ray Walston”). ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/36 "2005-11-29T07:17:01Z")
DUKES OF HAZZARD: Burt must still need money. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/37 "2005-11-29T07:54:47Z")
Dungeons and Dragons: Slept through better game sessions. Wing Commander: Snuck in. Want money back. Matrix: Surfer dude knows kung fu. Dangerous Liasons: Surfer dude out of place. Soldier: Sgt. Todd kills them all. Yojimbo: Ronin kills them all. Throne of Blood: Samurai MacBeth kills some, dies. Seven Samurai: Village hires ronin, big battle. Magnificent Seven: Yul Brynner cool, Mifune cooler. Cool Runnings: Bobsledding Jamaican named Yul Brenner. Running Man: Ran for governor of California. Serenity: Not very serene, actually. Pi: Mathematics, Kaballah, fortellings - the hell? Primer: Needlessly complex time travel tale. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/38 "2005-11-29T08:34:09Z")
The Boondock Saints: Irish brothers kill Italian gangsters Serenity: River kicks Reaver ass; Wash- (anyone who has seen the film should get that one; if you haven’t, don’t ask) ---
**Author:** ![MrJackboots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MrJackboots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrJackboots)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/39 "2005-11-29T10:03:23Z")
**Dr. Strangelove** : Whoops. **The Professional** : Hit Man Adopts Girl. **Forrest Gump** : Lucky Idiot Makes It Big. **Cassablanca** : Most notable anticlimax ever. **Dungeons and Dragons** : Jeremy Irons Chews Scenery. ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/40 "2005-11-29T13:41:31Z")
**Matrix: Revolution** : Way too much special effects **Sixth Sense** : Young boy sees dead people **Doom** : Resident Evil in space **Kill Bill** : Yellow-haired warrior kills all **Airplane 2** : Too funny. Must stop laughing **Terminator 3** : Terminator 2 with better graphics **War of the Worlds** : Stupid aliens invade without protection **Signs** : Crop circles are aliens’ airport [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136.md?page=3)