# MOVIE CHALLENGE: Describe a movie in five words or less **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 29, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136 "2005-11-29T00:05:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/41 "2005-11-29T13:50:28Z")
GONE WITH THE WIND: Rhett don’t give a damn JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR: Jesus rocks; Judas swings ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/42 "2005-11-29T16:18:08Z")
SNAKES ON A PLANE: Snakes! On a plane! ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/43 "2005-11-29T16:45:06Z")
Back to the Future: Teen almost prevents own existence. Back to the Future II: Teen sees future, flying cars. Back to the Future III: Teen, mad scientist become cowboys. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/44 "2005-11-29T18:30:41Z")
**BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE** : Time travel in phone booth. **BILL AND TED’S BOGUS JOURNEY** : Slackers get whacked, beat death. **KILL BILL: PART 1** : Blonde on rampage with sword. **KILL BILL: PART 2** : Mommy really pissed at Daddy. **LETHAL WEAPON** : Too old for this shit. **LETHAL WEAPON 2** : Cool cops rip on Pesci. **LETHAL WEAPON 3** : Gibson and Russo compare scars. **LETHAL WEAPON 4** : Why is Chris Rock here? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/45 "2005-11-29T18:34:43Z")
**Twins** Schwarzenegger and DeVito: they’re twins. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/46 "2005-11-29T18:42:54Z")
**GONE WITH THE WIND:** Atlanta burns, spoiled bitch whines ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/47 "2005-11-29T18:47:26Z")
MEMENTO: mystery solving tries memory Faulty ---
**Author:** ![FlyingCowOfDoom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyingcowofdoom/32/21776_2.png) [@FlyingCowOfDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingCowOfDoom)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/48 "2005-11-29T19:12:10Z")
**Armageddon:** Bruce Willis kills rock, dies \*\*Fight Club:\*\*Tyler Durden kicks everyone’s ass. **Die Hard:** Bruce Willis kills everyone, barefoot. **The Matrix:** Nothing is real, Neo! –FCOD ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/49 "2005-11-29T19:51:01Z")
JAWS: In Massachusetts, fish eats you! ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/50 "2005-11-29T20:34:00Z")
Gerry: Gerry and Gerry get Gerried. Independance Day: Aliens need better firewall. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/51 "2005-11-29T21:41:20Z")
CUBE: We’re locked up. And confused. DARK CITY: We’re confused and it’s dark. PITCH BLACK: It’s very dark. We’re toast. DANTE’S PEAK: We’re toast. Brosnan saves us. ALIVE: We’re saved. And cannibals. HANNIBAL: He’s a cannibal - Locked up. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/52 "2005-11-29T21:45:50Z")
This discussion reminded me of the Four Word Film Review site. Here’s the link - [http://www.fwfr.com/](http://www.fwfr.com/) Just to remind everyone that there’s a website for everything… ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/53 "2005-11-29T22:44:35Z")
Muppet Christmas Carol: Funnier than the Dickens Scrooged: Bill Murray plays Bill Murray How The Grinch Stole Christmas: Mindless raping of source material Scrooge, The Musical: Beautiful music for timeless story Non-Christmas Serenity: Really cool cowboys in space King Kong: Beast dies for Beauty’s love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: Strange guy creeps everyone out Generic testosterone overload movie with either Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude VanDamme, Bruce Lee, Stephen Segal, Ahnold, or other Hunk-of-the-month clone: insertname takes names, kicks ass Variations: insertname takes names, loves, kicks ass insertname takes names, regrets, kicks ass insertname takes names, reflects, kicks ass insertname takes names, jokes, kicks ass We should do this with Limericks. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/54 "2005-11-29T23:30:40Z")
Blues Brothers: Strangely dressed musicians save orphanage Speed: Keep bus moving or boom Airplane: And don’t call me Shirley Airplane: But that’s not important now Erin Brockovich: Hal learns they’re called boobs Independence Day: Mac connects alien mainframe? Suuurrre… Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: One lunatic, many Oompa-Loompas Terminator 2: He’s back Any Star Wars: Fanboys go gaga for this? ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/55 "2005-11-29T23:34:26Z")
The _Gone with the Wind_ ones make the baby Ghanima cry. How about “Movie doesn’t do book justice”? Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Con Woman Cons Con Men Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Saves the Dolphins (alternatively: Sean Young Has a Dick.) Blade Runner: Cyborg falls for Cyborg Killer Alien: Monster bursts out of chest Aliens: Aliens kick Colonial Marines’ Asses Alien 3: Sigourney has a big problem… Alien 4: This shouldn’t have been made - or - Someone please kill Winona Ryder The Corruptor: Snitch cop fails to snitch The Maltese Falcon: Bogie burns broad, bests baddies I could do this all day! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/56 "2005-11-30T00:01:07Z")
The Bad Lieutenant: Jesus, Harvey, put it away! ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/57 "2005-11-30T02:31:02Z")
Rocky Horror Picture Show: Screen’s expensive, actors are cheap. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/58 "2005-11-30T02:37:36Z")
_Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone_: Harry discovers he’s special. _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_: o/ Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake! Snaaaaaaaaaaaake! o/ _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_: Sirius didn’t do it. Seriously. _Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menance_: Jar-Jar should have died. _Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones_: Jar-Jar brings Sidious to power. _Star Wars Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith_: Jar-Jar survives Vader, Padme doesn’t. Hijack to make the obligatory anime references… _Trigun_: Staunch pacifist cops out. _Dragon Ball Z_: Next week, more grunting. _Slayers Next_: That is a secret. 🙂 _Excel Saga_: Today’s experiment…failed. (Or: Nabeshin vs. Rikudo. Or: F Prefecture, F City is F-ed. Or: Vader had nothing on Pedro. Or… :P) _Rurouni Kenshin_: Short man carries backwards sword. And, for the heck of it, some video games. _Final Fantasy 6_: Wasn’t this called “Star Wars”…? _Final Fantasy 7_: Kefka was a better villain. 😛 _Final Fantasy 9_: Dude looks like a lady. _Final Fantasy 10_: Congratulations, you don’t exist! _Final Fantasy 10-2_: Put some clothes on, Yuna! _Final Fantasy Tactics_: Religion is bad, m’kay? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/59 "2005-11-30T02:43:53Z")
**Fight Club** : Don’t Talk About It. **Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone** : Dickensian Mope Becomes Heroic Wizard. **Dr. Strangelove** : General’s Orgasm Leads to Apocalypse. **Dune (David Lynch version)**: Just Read the Book Instead. **Interview With A Vampire** : Tom Cruise Sucks Brad Pitt. **Zatoichi** : Blind Samurai’s Tap-dancing Revenge **Suicide Club** : Thump Thump Thump Thump Ick. **Ringu** Sadako’s Seven-Day Video Revenge ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136/60 "2005-11-30T03:50:37Z")
Some Shakespeare movies: Hamlet: Ghost tells son: avenge me! Macbeth: Witches spur thane to regicide. As You Like It: Cross-dressing woman finds love. Twelfth Night: See “As You Like It” Romeo and Juliet: Star-crossed lovers take their lives. Henry V: Former wastrel king conquers France. Midsummer Night’s Dream: Fairies and fools in forest. Merchant of Venice: Moneylender doesn’t get his pound. Othello: Moor loves unwisely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-challenge-describe-a-movie-in-five-words-or-less/333136.md?page=4)