# Movie love most like real love? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 20, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908 "2009-12-20T01:08:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/1 "2009-12-20T01:08:03Z")
What movie, for you, is the best illustration of real love? I’m talking romantic love here. I’m a little stumped myself, partly because I mostly go for unrealistic movies, musicals, fantasies, partly, I think, because I’ve spent a lot of time judging real life love (in which I’ve been fantastically lucky) by movie love I looked over everything I ever rented from Netflix and I think the winners are Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney playing John and Abigail Adams in the “John Adams” miniseries, but picking a miniseries may be cheating. ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/2 "2009-12-20T04:27:24Z")
Maybe not dead-on, but the love the Joseph Gordon-Levitt character in _500 Days of Summer_ had for the Zooey Deschanel character was realistic. And the one split-screen fantasy/reality scene definitely rang true for a lot of people, including me. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/3 "2009-12-20T07:29:10Z")
Although I don’t have an answer, I’d like to compliment you on a most intriguing question! One problem with coming up with good examples might be that “real love” would not be particularly interesting in a movie. Real people, really in love, and staying happy until death do them part… well, it might be excruciatingly boring to all outside observers!..TRM ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/4 "2009-12-20T08:21:04Z")
I’m going by what I felt at the time, but I thought that the romance in ‘The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ was quite credible. Mostly because it failed in the end, though. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/5 "2009-12-20T08:39:54Z")
My all-time favourite piece of fiction is Pushkin’s ‘Onegin’. Everyone should see the criminally overloooked but superb [movie adaptation.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119079/) One of the many reasons I love it is the highly realistic handling of the theme of love and passion. I could write so much more, but I don’t want to spoil it for those who don’t know the wonderful story - which AFAIK remains unique in literature. The well-known Richard Curtis movie [Love Actually](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314331/) weaves together seven or eight different story lines. Okay, it’s a comedy, and some of the stories are fairly predictable movie fare. But I think some of the stories offer a realistic portrayal of what love means to real people in real situations, particularly Mark’s story and Sam’s story. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/6 "2009-12-20T09:06:37Z")
Thora Birch and Steve Buscemi in **Ghost World**. It ends badly and quickly. What other endorsement do you need? ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/7 "2009-12-20T12:17:33Z")
The relationship development in \*\*Something’s Gotta Give \*\*resonates with me. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/8 "2009-12-20T12:43:40Z")
> [@MostlyClueless](#): > > I’m going by what I felt at the time, but I thought that the romance in ‘The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ was quite credible. I was going to post this too. And _Love Actually_. Also, the lead-up to the breakup in the otherwise execrable _The Breakup_ was pretty good- little innocuous things that snowball into an intractible situation rang true. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/9 "2009-12-20T15:05:31Z")
I think almost every relationship in the movie _Parenthood_ was ridiculously realistic. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/10 "2009-12-20T15:58:26Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I think almost every relationship in the movie _Parenthood_ was ridiculously realistic. Yes! This is one of my favorite movies of all time. I watched it with my husband before we got married and had kids and we still watch it a lot. We talk to each other a lot like Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen, sometimes even quoting (“Show 'em honey!”, “How proud you must be.”) but maybe that is real love imitating movie love. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/11 "2009-12-20T16:40:52Z")
Sadly, in my case, the upcomming[Leap Year](http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810055856/info). ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/12 "2009-12-20T19:51:36Z")
Yep, Love Actually was what popped into my head, first thing. I also agree with Parenthood. ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/13 "2009-12-20T21:06:32Z")
I thought **High Fidelity** was a pretty realistic treatment, so much so that at times it was painful to watch. ---
**Author:** ![Alpine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpine/32/17813_2.png) [@Alpine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpine)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/14 "2009-12-21T03:12:04Z")
\*\*\*When Harry Met Sally \*\*\*strikes a chord for me, besides being a very funny movie. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/15 "2009-12-21T03:51:16Z")
I came in to mention “Love Actually”, but specifically the relationship between Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson’s characters. Some of the other “loves” happen too quickly for me - at least two couples get engaged within a month of meeting - whereas theirs seems complex and real. I love how in the airport sequence at the end she meets him off the plane, and you can see she’s started making more of an effort with her appearance, but also that she still hasn’t forgiven him and things are still strained between them. I also love how quickly her character pulls herself together following the gift scene - so true to life, because your two kids are waiting downstairs, it’s their Christmas concert, what else are you going to do? You have to be ok for them. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/16 "2009-12-21T05:16:47Z")
> [@Barrett\_Bonden](#): > > I thought **High Fidelity** was a pretty realistic treatment, so much so that at times it was painful to watch. I agree. It’s not puppy love, but just workaday pain in the ass love. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/17 "2009-12-21T05:21:12Z")
No movie captures falling in love as well as [Before Sunrise](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112471/). Pitch perfect. No movie captures the wistfulness of lost love like [Before Sunset](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0381681/). ---
**Author:** ![Headrush042](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Headrush042](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Headrush042)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/18 "2009-12-21T14:06:09Z")
Just popped in to nominate _Lost in Translation_. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/19 "2009-12-21T17:39:09Z")
Not quite an answer to the question asked, but similar enough… The most realistic-seeming married couple dynamic I’ve seen on a TV show is the coach and his wife on the excellent **Friday Night Lights**. ---
**Author:** ![HISSNLISSN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed8c4c/32.png) [@HISSNLISSN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HISSNLISSN)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/20 "2009-12-21T18:26:29Z")
_9 Songs_, and no I’m not being facetious. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908.md?page=2)