# Movie love most like real love? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 20, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908 "2009-12-20T01:08:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/41 "2009-12-22T15:02:26Z")
I have no idea . . . surely not any romantic comedy I’ve ever seen. They always have the bit where there’s some kind of misunderstanding and it looks like the two leads are going to break up, only to of course work it all out in the end. I guess this is done to build suspense, except there’s no suspense because everyone knows the formula already. I always think, “If this were me and my wife, we’d have apologized and made up within 10 minutes.” ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/42 "2009-12-22T15:22:18Z")
Oh! Oh! Gotcha covered, absolutely: \*\*[The Four Seasons\*\*](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082405/) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/43 "2009-12-22T15:43:09Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Also, the lead-up to the breakup in the otherwise execrable _The Breakup_ was pretty good- little innocuous things that snowball into an intractible situation rang true. Ugh - I watched this movie after filing for divorce and it made me a little sick to my stomach watching all my fights played out. Definitely real in the “stupid stuff to fight about that points to the end” in the movie. A friend of mine was getting divorced a short time later and I told him “you aren’t ready to watch the arguing.” “I don’t want you to wash the dishes because you have to. I want to you want to wash the dishes.” “Who wants to wash dishes?” And the lemons!! It was all just a play out of ‘it’s important to me, that’s why you should care’ and it was just heartbreaking. For someone that had just been through it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/44 "2009-12-22T16:00:43Z")
> [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](#): > > Sarah and Karl’s story makes me angry -they give up too easily. Yeah, even though she’s in a pretty horrible situation. But what the heel does she see in Karl? Sure, he’s good looking, but is there a personality there? I don;t think he has more than 2 lines in the entire movie, and they’re both pretty vapid. Then again, she fell in love with him in 30 minutes, so maybe she’s a bit shallow. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/45 "2009-12-22T16:31:15Z")
I’m gonna go the cynical route and vote for _War of the Roses._ ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/46 "2009-12-22T16:49:03Z")
> [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](#): > > Sarah and Karl’s story makes me angry -they give up too easily. > [@tdn](#): > > Yeah, even though she’s in a pretty horrible situation. > > But what the heel does she see in Karl? Sure, he’s good looking, but is there a personality there? I don;t think he has more than 2 lines in the entire movie, and they’re both pretty vapid. Then again, she fell in love with him in 30 minutes, so maybe she’s a bit shallow. I would hesitate to stay, that in this case the story is NOT about Sarah and Karl. The story is about Sarah and her brother Michael. That she loves him so much, that rather than just leaving him in that mental health facility by himself, she sacrifices her chances of romantic love and a real life by constantly being there for him. And I agree that Karl might be a heel, but I don’t think Sarah falls in love with him because she’s a bit shallow. I think she falls in love with him because she hasn’t been able to have any realistic interactions with anyone in a long time - and he’s the closest thing to a relationship she’s ever been able to have - someone who works a few feet away from her and she can have interactions with on a regular basis. But when she gets to the next level - that’s when she can’t keep up. She’s as much in restraints as her brother is. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/47 "2009-12-22T16:51:50Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > _Harold and Maude_. > > What? _If you want to be you, be you! And if you want to be me, be me! There’s a million things to be, you know that there are!_ I love _Harold and Maude_. I would contest however, that although a lovely story - they are not a truly equal partnership of love. Therefore, I nominate Laura Roslin and Commander Adama. what? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/48 "2009-12-22T17:58:39Z")
That’s an excellent analysis of the Sarah/Karl/Michael story. Thank you. The funny thing about that movie is any story on its own is not much of a story. There’s very little depth because there’s so much width. It’s a little like _Crash_ in that regard. That it all works is a credit to the film editor. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/49 "2009-12-22T18:20:15Z")
Another vote for **When Harry met Sally**. Plus I can relate to it in real life. Before my ex wife and I began dating she pretty much hated me, she called me a slimy worm and worse more than once, and meant it! Even though the marriage didn’t work out, we still like each other and hang out sometimes. So even though the movie is a comedy, I thought it was a realistic portrayal of how love can begin between two people. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/50 "2009-12-22T20:37:44Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > That’s an excellent analysis of the Sarah/Karl/Michael story. Thank you. > > The funny thing about that movie is any story on its own is not much of a story. There’s very little depth because there’s so much width. It’s a little like _Crash_ in that regard. That it all works is a credit to the film editor. My bf and I actually watched the DVD the other day, including some of the extra footage (documentaries and stuff) and one of the things that I found interesting is that there is actually like 80 minutes that was cut from the movie. Which I think would give it more of the on-screen depth you are looking for. I think one of the things that the editor/director hopes is that you will find a story or two within the group and say, “yeah, I know what that’s about” and fill in your own depth - as they had to leave a lot of it on the cutting room floor! :)) ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/51 "2009-12-22T20:45:26Z")
_Fatal Attraction_. What? Ok, enough facetious suggestions followed by “what?” I agree with _Lost in Translation_ and _High Fidelity_. I would also like to include _The Two Towers_ for Eowyn’s unrequited love. There’s one scene, after Aragorn returns from a mishap, where she is delighted to see he is alive and well. But then, from afar, she sees the elf pendant, and her face starts to crumble. Painfully realistic. (Aragorn’s survival of the mishap perhaps less so.) Also good is when she volunteers to go with him into the Paths of the Dead. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/52 "2009-12-22T20:50:56Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > I came in to post these, but agree with High Fidelity and When Harry Met Sally, too. All of these movies involve the intricacy of communication while trying to figure out love - they have a geekiness element that rings true… In **Before Sunrise** there is a scene where the characters are in a listening booth in a record store, and as the music is playing they take turns sneaking looks at each other (but with each trying not to get _caught_ looking at the other). That is a near-perfect scene. ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/53 "2009-12-22T21:15:07Z")
_Lolita._ What? > [@Knorf](#): > > Ok, enough facetious suggestions followed by “what?” Oops, sorry. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/54 "2009-12-22T21:24:19Z")
> [@spoke-](#): > > No movie captures falling in love as well as [Before Sunrise](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112471/). Pitch perfect. > > No movie captures the wistfulness of lost love like [Before Sunset](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0381681/). These are the movies I came in here to mention, but I have to disagree with your characterization of the second movie. I feel that _Before Sunset_ wasn’t so much about lost love as it was about love finally succeeding (it just took ten years to do so). ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/55 "2009-12-22T21:25:22Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > These are the movies I came in here to mention, but I have to disagree with your characterization of the second movie. I feel that _Before Sunset_ wasn’t so much about lost love as it was about love finally succeeding (it just took ten years to do so). I guess we’ll see in a few years when we get the next installment. 🙂 But I only meant they were wistful about the lost years, and what might have been. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/56 "2009-12-22T21:44:44Z")
_Clerks_: DANTE (panicky): But…but you said you only had sex with three guys! You never mentioned him! VERONICA: That’s because I never had sex with him! DANTE: You sucked his dick! VERONICA: We went out a few times. We didn’t have sex, but we fooled around. DANTE (massive panic attack): Oh my God! Why did you tell me you only slept with three guys? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/57 "2009-12-22T21:45:01Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > My bf and I actually watched the DVD the other day, including some of the extra footage (documentaries and stuff) and one of the things that I found interesting is that there is actually like 80 minutes that was cut from the movie. Which I think would give it more of the on-screen depth you are looking for. You know, I actually own that movie. This thread even inspired me to watch it last night. And I have never looked at the special features. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/58 "2009-12-22T22:28:58Z")
I recommend that you do (i.e., look at the special features/deleted scenes from the film Love Actually), if for nothing else, for the deleted scene about the essay written by Karen’s son Bernard about his Christmas wish. It’s hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/59 "2009-12-22T22:43:03Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Thora Birch and Steve Buscemi in **Ghost World**. It ends badly and quickly. What other endorsement do you need? Not sure if you’re joking (or half-joking) but that is one of the reasons I loved the movie. When people talk about loving or wanting something you can’t have, then no longer wanting it when you can, they always make it seem malicious – but I think this was the case here, and not because Enid was a raging megabitch. She didn’t know what she wanted. Turning fantasy into reality is often no fun, and fooling around with someone you liked can be a bit like meeting your heroes (as in, disappointing). The movie captured adolescence perfectly for me, including the nausea and pressure of relationships. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908/60 "2009-12-22T22:58:03Z")
No one said ‘Eternal Sunshine’ yet? Hmm. **Eternal Sunshine**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-love-most-like-real-love/521908.md?page=4)