# Movie Merger Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 20, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030 "2004-07-20T17:51:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/201 "2004-07-23T23:04:04Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Alamo, Where art thou? > > While on as trip to London, a typical suburban American family accidently runs over a supposedly mythical British boy wizard. Feeling guilty. they take him back home and nurse him back to health. Hilarity ensues. **Harry Potter and the Hendersons.** “Edward James Olmos teaches calculus to students as they go on a field trip to find the body of a kid hit by a train.” **Stand By Me and Deliver** ‘The stuff that dreams are made of’ is apparently cocaine and military secrets in this Bogart/Penn feature. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/202 "2004-07-23T23:14:46Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > ‘The stuff that dreams are made of’ is apparently cocaine and military secrets in this Bogart/Penn feature. **The Maltese Falcon and the Snowman** ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/203 "2004-07-23T23:17:57Z")
Traveling salesman with a band instruments scam comes to the town he visited as a child, at which time he helped deliver a baby, and falls in love with the woman the baby has become. THAT should keep ya busy! ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/204 "2004-07-24T01:43:59Z")
Cop with split personality believes that a mechanical man has committed murder. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/205 "2004-07-24T03:32:39Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > Cop with split personality believes that a mechanical man has committed murder. Me, Myself and I, Robot. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/206 "2004-07-24T03:38:18Z")
A close-knit pair of early Twentieth-Century western bandits evade their pursuers, get high, and look for fast food. A Rhode Island state trooper with mental problems investigates a twisted affair between the wife of a crime lord and a resturaunt patron. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/207 "2004-07-24T18:21:04Z")
OK, so what clues are currently active now? (and I’m kinda disappointed that nobody went back and finished solving my **Blue Max: Beyond Thunderdome** …I liked that one…) This thread is too fun to let it die at five measly pages. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/208 "2004-07-24T19:05:48Z")
I’ll keep this thing going, I have a couple dozen of them written down. Unfortunately my personal favorite, _Malcolm X-Men_, was already done. (My description went like this: Denzel Washington stars as the fiery black Muslim revolutionary who is spiritually reborn with mutant powers after a pilgrimmage to Mecca. Spike Lee directs; Ian McKellen is Elijah Magneto.) But here’s a new one: **A mental patient who is the President of the United States is forced to bravely defend himself and his family when terrorists attempt to hijack his plane.** ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/209 "2004-07-24T19:32:23Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > But here’s a new one: **A mental patient who is the President of the United States is forced to bravely defend himself and his family when terrorists attempt to hijack his plane.** _Air Force One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest_. My new one: Johnny Depp heads out west to accept a position as an accountant. When he discovers his job has been given to someone else, he constructs a suit of armor and teams up with Sancho Panza to fight zombies. While hiding in a farmhouse, Depp discovers that his companion is actually an wealthy young woman running away from her family. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/210 "2004-07-25T13:02:27Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Traveling salesman with a band instruments scam comes to the town he visited as a child, at which time he helped deliver a baby, and falls in love with the woman the baby has become. > > THAT should keep ya busy! Is no one gonna attempt this? I’ll give this out Tuesday morning if no one gets it. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/211 "2004-07-25T16:14:00Z")
> [@Lisa-go-Blind](#): > > _Air Force One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest_. > > My new one: Johnny Depp heads out west to accept a position as an accountant. When he discovers his job has been given to someone else, he constructs a suit of armor and teams up with Sancho Panza to fight zombies. While hiding in a farmhouse, Depp discovers that his companion is actually an wealthy young woman running away from her family. That actually sounds like Terry Gilliam’s failed attempt at Don Quijote. No merger needed. ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/212 "2004-07-26T02:25:18Z")
I can’t think of any answers to the above mergers, but I’d like to give one of my own. **Death wants to see what it’s like to be alive and pass as a black man, so he can expose the predjudice and discrimination that went on in that age.** ---
**Author:** ![Atticus\_Finch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/213 "2004-07-26T02:41:21Z")
> [@Phelan](#): > > **Death wants to see what it’s like to be alive and pass as a black man, so he can expose the predjudice and discrimination that went on in that age.** Meet Joe Black Like Me. I won’t give out another, there’re five or so on the go at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/214 "2004-07-26T14:05:12Z")
Well, I’m stumped by all of the active clues…maybe I’m not watching enough movies. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/215 "2004-07-26T14:30:42Z")
> [@Menocchio](#): > > A close-knit pair of early Twentieth-Century western bandits evade their pursuers, get high, and look for fast food. The only thing I’m coming up with is \*\*Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid’n’Play \*\*. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/216 "2004-07-26T17:23:08Z")
> [@Lisa-go-Blind](#): > > My new one: Johnny Depp heads out west to accept a position as an accountant. When he discovers his job has been given to someone else, he constructs a suit of armor and teams up with Sancho Panza to fight zombies. While hiding in a farmhouse, Depp discovers that his companion is actually an wealthy young woman running away from her family. **NIght of the Living Dead Man of La Mancha**?? I’m sure I’m leaving parts out, but this is my best guess. I hope it will inspire someone! ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/217 "2004-07-26T17:57:05Z")
I think that the active clues are too esoteric or non-obvious. You don’t win any points if no one can guess the title. Here’s an easy one: The Earth is threatened by an alien being. A refurbished USS Enterprise takes to space once again to save the day. The key to defeating the alien seems to be this mysterious painting. Heck, here are three more: Captain Kirk must fight an enemy from his past: A ruthless newspaper publisher out for revenge. While exploring the Genesis planet, four Starfleet ensigns run into serious trouble when they wind up in debt for a half-million bars of gold-pressed latinum after a crooked card game. A man is dying because whales are infecting his bloodstream. Before the crew of the Enterprise can return to Earth, they agree to be miniaturized to conduct emergency surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/218 "2004-07-26T18:11:05Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > A man is dying because whales are infecting his bloodstream. Before the crew of the Enterprise can return to Earth, they agree to be miniaturized to conduct emergency surgery. You’re doing the first four Trek movies, but my addled brain can only come up with **Star Trek IV: The Fantastic Voyage Home** Now I just have to remember what I’ve done and what I’ve yet to inflict upon this thread… James Bond travels to New Orleans to investigate the deaths of three British agents, and soon finds himself battling a North Korean plot to use Voodoo and heroin to smuggle diamonds from the Carribean to Iceland. Co starring Halle Berry as Felix Leiter. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/219 "2004-07-26T18:14:08Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > I think that the active clues are too esoteric or non-obvious. You don’t win any points if no one can guess the title. Here’s an easy one: > > The Earth is threatened by an alien being. A refurbished USS Enterprise takes to space once again to save the day. The key to defeating the alien seems to be this mysterious painting. > > Heck, here are three more: > > Captain Kirk must fight an enemy from his past: A ruthless newspaper publisher out for revenge. > > While exploring the Genesis planet, four Starfleet ensigns run into serious trouble when they wind up in debt for a half-million bars of gold-pressed latinum after a crooked card game. > > A man is dying because whales are infecting his bloodstream. Before the crew of the Enterprise can return to Earth, they agree to be miniaturized to conduct emergency surgery. **Star Trek : The Motion Picture of Dorian Gray Star Trek II : The Wrath of Citizen Kane Star Trek III : The Search for Lock, Spock, and Two Smoking Barrels Star Trek IV : The Fantastic Voyage Home** Here’s one : A long-lost relative of a crew member commandeers the Enterprise, hoping to lead them to spiritual enlightment by travelling back in time to interfere with the attack on Pearl Harbor. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/220 "2004-07-26T18:16:45Z")
> [@Kilt-wearin' man](#): > > James Bond travels to New Orleans to investigate the deaths of three British agents, and soon finds himself battling a North Korean plot to use Voodoo and heroin to smuggle diamonds from the Carribean to Iceland. Co starring Halle Berry as Felix Leiter. And this, of course, would be **Live and Let Die Another Day** , a hybrid film first suggested by myself in Eve’s movie hybrid thread, some months ago. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030.md?page=12)