# Movie Merger Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 20, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030 "2004-07-20T17:51:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/41 "2004-07-21T12:16:25Z")
A Nazarene with Messianic claims is captured by ghostly seafaring brigands, flogged almost to death & nailed up to the mast, only to be rescued by a weird flouncy brigand. Two possible titles- both with the same initials ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/42 "2004-07-21T12:27:39Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > A Nazarene with Messianic claims is captured by ghostly seafaring brigands, flogged almost to death & nailed up to the mast, only to be rescued by a weird flouncy brigand. > > Two possible titles- both with the same initials **The Passion of the Carribbean/Pirates of the Christ** A spacefaring race abducts one of Earth’s most famous rock’n’roll pianists, and demands our oxygen supply in exchange for him. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/43 "2004-07-21T12:32:42Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > A Nazarene with Messianic claims is captured by ghostly seafaring brigands, flogged almost to death & nailed up to the mast, only to be rescued by a weird flouncy brigand. > > Two possible titles- both with the same initials **Pirates of the Christ Passion of the Caribbiean** A fab four from Liverpool sing their way through a hostage crisis in an L.A. office tower on Christmas Eve. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/44 "2004-07-21T12:34:18Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > **The Passion of the Carribbean/Pirates of the Christ** > > A spacefaring race abducts one of Earth’s most famous rock’n’roll pianists, and demands our oxygen supply in exchange for him. **Spaceballs of Fire** (see above simulpost for next one.) ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/45 "2004-07-21T13:00:26Z")
**Die Hard Day’s Night**? A young wizard’s godfather is on the run from soul-sucking ghosts, after he develops a mathematical formula for cheating on the stock market. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/46 "2004-07-21T13:23:19Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > John Houseman presides over a law school class in which Ben Affleck woos & wins a lesbian. The Paper Chasing Amy ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/47 "2004-07-21T14:52:17Z")
Movie star dies in a car accident and must navigate his personal demons in a bizarre afterlife. Meanwhile on Earth his fans must solve deep questions about his putative son. ---
**Author:** ![SilentButDeftly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@SilentButDeftly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SilentButDeftly)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/48 "2004-07-21T16:10:08Z")
> [@Hamish](#): > > A young wizard’s godfather is on the run from soul-sucking ghosts, after he develops a mathematical formula for cheating on the stock market. **Harry Potter and the Spanish Prisoner of Azkaban** A ragtag bunch of actors are hoping to be discovered in a community theatre production about one young man’s last chance for love with the girl of his dreams at a party on graduation night. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/49 "2004-07-21T16:41:05Z")
> [@SilentButDeftly](#): > > A ragtag bunch of actors are hoping to be discovered in a community theatre production about one young man’s last chance for love with the girl of his dreams at a party on graduation night. **Can’t Hardly Wait for Guffman** A surreal flick about lost woman with amnesia who is helped by a plucky blond ingenue hired to chauffeur her around 1950s Atlanta in a era of racial tension. ---
**Author:** ![SilentButDeftly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@SilentButDeftly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SilentButDeftly)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/50 "2004-07-21T17:38:47Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > A surreal flick about lost woman with amnesia who is helped by a plucky blond ingenue hired to chauffeur her around 1950s Atlanta in a era of racial tension. \*\*Mulholland Driving Miss Daisy \*\* A movie about an illegal car race full of low-down dirty tricks and eccentric characters, one of whom is a swift German woman with a real knack for roulette. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/51 "2004-07-21T17:45:19Z")
> [@SilentButDeftly](#): > > \*\*Mulholland Driving Miss Daisy \*\* > > A movie about an illegal car race full of low-down dirty tricks and eccentric characters, one of whom is a swift German woman with a real knack for roulette. **Cannonball Run, Lola, Run** On the run from Union soldiers who murdered his family, Clint Eastwood hides out in Maine with Bette Davis and Lillian Gish. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/52 "2004-07-21T17:47:39Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Uma Thurman & Janeane Garafalo vie for being chosen as the Scion as they are both descended from Jesus’s sibs. **The Truth About Cats and Dogma** Still open: A movie about an illegal car race full of low-down dirty tricks and eccentric characters, one of whom is a swift German woman with a real knack for roulette. Movie star dies in a car accident and must navigate his personal demons in a bizarre afterlife. Meanwhile on Earth his fans must solve deep questions about his putative son. and mine: Don Corleone navigates the wilds of the Serengeti to try to return a Coke bottle to civilization. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/53 "2004-07-21T17:52:27Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Don Corleone navigates the wilds of the Serengeti to try to return a Coke bottle to civilization. **The Godfather Must be Crazy** An angel shows a suicidal ant what his anthill would have been like were it not for all his good deeds. Another animated masterpiece from Pixar. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/54 "2004-07-21T17:57:13Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > **The Godfather Must be Crazy** > > An angel shows a suicidal ant what his anthill would have been like were it not for all his good deeds. Another animated masterpiece from Pixar. **It’s a Wonderful Bug’s Life.** Two high-school slackers take a job looking after some very precocious kids, who lead them through downtown Chicago, and then time itself. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/55 "2004-07-21T17:57:27Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > **The Truth About Cats and Dogma** > > Still open: > > A movie about an illegal car race full of low-down dirty tricks and eccentric characters, one of whom is a swift German woman with a real knack for roulette. Simulpost got ya, that was Canonball Run Lola Run > [@](#): > > Don Corleone navigates the wilds of the Serengeti to try to return a Coke bottle to civilization. **The Godfathers Must Be Crazy** A drifter named Naomi goes Vegas to become a stripper and lick a brass pole until she is institutionalized with borderline personality disorder in the women’s wing of a mental institution in the 1960s. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/56 "2004-07-21T17:59:47Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > **The Godfather Must be Crazy** > > An angel shows a suicidal ant what his anthill would have been like were it not for all his good deeds. Another animated masterpiece from Pixar. **It’s a Wonderful Bug’s LIfe** (I can’t get the one with the movie star. I’m trying!) A blind black man and a deaf white man go to a cabin in the woods and witness a murder committed by demons. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/57 "2004-07-21T17:59:54Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > **It’s a Wonderful Bug’s Life.** > > Two high-school slackers take a job looking after some very precocious kids, who lead them through downtown Chicago, and then time itself. Dang simulposts: **Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures in Babysitting** ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/58 "2004-07-21T18:01:52Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > Simulpost got ya, that was Canonball Run Lola Run > > **The Godfathers Must Be Crazy** > > A drifter named Naomi goes Vegas to become a stripper and lick a brass pole until she is institutionalized with borderline personality disorder in the women’s wing of a mental institution in the 1960s. Dang simulposts indeed. 😉 **Showgirl, Interrupted.** A poor farming village hires seven warrior-musicians to defend them in this post-apocalpytic tale. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/59 "2004-07-21T18:05:06Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > A blind black man and a deaf white man go to a cabin in the woods and witness a murder committed by demons. Ooh… the demons part could be a lot of things, but I’m going with **See No Evil Dead, Hear No Evil Dead** ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/60 "2004-07-21T18:09:55Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > RED DAWN, WHITE NIGHTS AND BLUE VELVET!!! > YAY ME! Indeed! Red, White & Blue! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030.md?page=4)