# Movie Merger Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 20, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030 "2004-07-20T17:51:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/161 "2004-07-22T20:53:56Z")
“Two Scandinavian wannabe actors, with manequin looks and plastic enhancements foil an ad-exec promoting public transportation while falling in love with a character played by the (former?) wife of the most unpleasant action actor in the world while Martha Reeves sings her signature songs backed up by De Niro, Pacino, Kilmer and Sizemore.” something with Heat Wave, obviously, but what??? Here’s one: The Robinson family takes off in their interplanetary vehicle in order to search for a legendary treasure that is also being sought by the Nazis. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/162 "2004-07-22T21:20:01Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Here’s one: > > The Robinson family takes off in their interplanetary vehicle in order to search for a legendary treasure that is also being sought by the Nazis. **Raiders of the Lost Ark In Space** A romance novel author must travel to South America to ransom her kidnapped sister, and soon finds herself struggling to recover a magical artifact with the help of a adolescent British wizard-in-training and his friends. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/163 "2004-07-22T21:37:17Z")
**Romancing [Harry Potter and] the Sorcerer’s Stone** A young deer whose mother was killed by a hunter goes on a crusade to free India by non-violent means. _(I got this one from an old issue of MAD magazine.)_ ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/164 "2004-07-22T22:03:05Z")
> [@SilentButDeftly](#): > > **A Funny Farm Happened on the Way to the Forum**? Right movies, yes. Though I had envisioned “ **A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Farm** ”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/165 "2004-07-22T22:17:23Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > **Romancing [Harry Potter and] the Sorcerer’s Stone** > A young deer whose mother was killed by a hunter goes on a crusade to free India by non-violent means. _(I got this one from an old issue of MAD magazine.)_ How exactly does one combine “Ghandi” and “Bambi”? **Bhambi**? An ambitious but unpopular pilot in the German air force of 1918 pursues his goal of 20 kills and the coveted award that comes with that total - until he finds himself welcomed as the messiah by a tribe of lost children he must lead through the post-nuclear wasteland and protect from the denizens of Bartertown! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/166 "2004-07-22T22:50:58Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > “Bogart, in search of a Big Mac, instead discovers gold while searching for jewelry. His love entanglements with two women result in his becoming a semi-recluse, living with two other men and a donkey.” > **Treasure of the Sierra Y Tu Madre Tambien**? I doubt it… Strike one… ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/167 "2004-07-22T22:54:27Z")
> [@Kilt-wearin' man](#): > > An ambitious but unpopular pilot in the German air force of 1918 pursues his goal of 20 kills and the coveted award that comes with that total - until he finds himself welcomed as the messiah by a tribe of lost children he must lead through the post-nuclear wasteland and protect from the denizens of Bartertown! **The Blue Mad Max** ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/168 "2004-07-22T23:06:48Z")
A tightly-knit family from a small coal-mining town falls prey to the lure of Hollywood, drugs and ambition. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/169 "2004-07-23T00:12:03Z")
> [@Kilt-wearin' man](#): > > How exactly does one combine “Ghandi” and “Bambi”? **Bhambi**? Bingo! Another one from that issue of MAD magazine was: _A killer cyborg from the future is out to get Shirley MacLaine’s daughter before she dies of armpit cancer._ ---
**Author:** ![Atticus\_Finch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/170 "2004-07-23T01:00:24Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > _A killer cyborg from the future is out to get Shirley MacLaine’s daughter before she dies of armpit cancer._ Terminators of Endearment! A disabled artist struggles to overcome prejudice in his high school by means of funky dancing… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/171 "2004-07-23T01:07:25Z")
> [@lambchops](#): > > A disabled artist struggles to overcome prejudice in his high school by means of funky dancing… **My Left Footloose** ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/172 "2004-07-23T01:07:17Z")
After her husband and child are killed in a car crash, a French composer is mistaken for a hero by the naive inhabitants of a Mexican villiage. Pierce Brosnan and Dirk Bogarde team up in spy caper. ---
**Author:** ![Atticus\_Finch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/173 "2004-07-23T02:00:34Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > Pierce Brosnan and Dirk Bogarde team up in spy caper. Tomorrow Never Dies in Venice? In this tearjerker, a geeky guy discovers he has the proportional speed and strength of a disfigured Mel Gibson. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/174 "2004-07-23T02:32:40Z")
> [@lambchops](#): > > Tomorrow Never Dies in Venice? Nope, try again > [@](#): > > In this tearjerker, a geeky guy discovers he has the proportional speed and strength of a disfigured Mel Gibson. The spiderman without a face. A transvestive boy with blades for fingers persues his ambition to make films. ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/175 "2004-07-23T02:44:09Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > A transvestive boy with blades for fingers persues his ambition to make films. **Ed Wood Scissorhands** Probably too easy but I’m running out of ideas: A boy who loves to read is drawn into a fantasy-world New York where rival gangs sing, and duke it out for control of New York. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/176 "2004-07-23T03:38:00Z")
The Never Ending West Side Story ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/177 "2004-07-23T03:50:24Z")
> [@Hamish](#): > > **Ed Wood Scissorhands**. This is brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/178 "2004-07-23T04:12:38Z")
> [@Hamish](#): > > **Ed Wood Scissorhands** > > Probably too easy but I’m running out of ideas: > > A boy who loves to read is drawn into a fantasy-world New York where rival gangs sing, and duke it out for control of New York. _The Neverending West Side Story_? John Singleton’s campy new movie about a female-to-male transgendered teen growing up in the LA ghetto who yearns to be an Elvis style pop-star who’s famous for shedding a single tear. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/179 "2004-07-23T06:48:04Z")
John Singleton’s campy new movie about a female-to-male transgendered teen growing up in the LA ghetto who yearns to be an Elvis style pop-star who’s famous for shedding a single tear. BOYS DON’T CRY BABY ? ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030/180 "2004-07-23T11:22:46Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > **Charly and the Chocolate Factory** > > [nitpick]The movie was renamed “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”[/nitpick] Uh. I’m talking about the new Tim Burton version. Yeah, that’s the (golden) ticket. What’s still open? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-merger-madness/256030.md?page=10)