# Movie Plots that Need to Be Retired **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 9, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723 "2004-01-09T21:45:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/41 "2004-01-10T09:15:47Z")
Doh! just noticed that someone already did that one. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![slackersavant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@slackersavant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slackersavant)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/42 "2004-01-10T09:27:25Z")
the kind of romance movie where a guy is torn between two women, and picks the normal, down to earth girl over the glamorous one. It’s not a suprise and it’s too cliched to be uplifting. I’m sure they do this plot with the female lead choosing between guys, but I can’t think of an example. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/43 "2004-01-10T10:41:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Any remake. Period. \*\* Bull Puckey. _Oceans 11_ was a good movie and much, **much** , better than the original. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/44 "2004-01-10T11:06:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wumpus \* > \*\*How about: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back? 🙂 > > " it might be interesting to have a by-the-book rookie cop and an out of control old one" – That’d be Training Day. \*\* And Mississippi Burning ---
**Author:** ![Netbrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71e660/32.png) [@Netbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Netbrian)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/45 "2004-01-10T13:18:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Anything that requires the star to sit in a make-up chair for more than 15 minutes. Hah! Fifteen minutes is a cakewalk compared to what the LotR stars had to go through. And I wouldn’t have missed that movie for the world. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/46 "2004-01-10T15:51:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by McJohn \* > \*\*Windwalker, I must confess that I question the feasibility of your challenge. \*\* “Hey, what am I doing here?” _Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex but Were Afraid to Ask_ ---
**Author:** ![YPOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e99b99/32.png) [@YPOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YPOD)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/47 "2004-01-10T16:07:18Z")
This is veterans day for me. Any movie that shows the military types as simplistic war mongerers who are willing and ready to go to war immediately, even if there are alternatives. As an example, I was thinking of the TV show 24 last year, where the US military was apparantly ready, willing and able to invade a mid east country the very day we were attacked. How about the idea of former SEALS and Green Berets being heartless mercenaries perfectly willing to betray America for the right price? Or veterans being burned out losers with severe emotional problems, or who get together to rob a bank? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/48 "2004-01-10T17:39:32Z")
I think I need to clarify my comment about remakes. I think those who take a classic or well-known movie and either try to redo it in a different time or modernize it or stick in a little twist - rather than put a little creative effort into coming up with a new story - _those_ people should be flogged. I thought _The Odd Couple_ was a great movie. But when it was redone with women instead of men and with black men instead of white men, well, there was nothing inspired about that. At least not to me. Wait - those were TV shows, weren’t they? Never mind… Maybe I should just be quiet. I’m not a big movie fan anyway… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/49 "2004-01-10T19:42:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by YPOD \* > \*\*This is veterans day for me. > > Any movie that shows the military types as simplistic war mongerers who are willing and ready to go to war immediately, even if there are alternatives. As an example, I was thinking of the TV show 24 last year, where the US military was apparantly ready, willing and able to invade a mid east country the very day we were attacked. > \*\* I’ve always wondered about this. The military peeps and veterans I know were always the **LAST** to want a war; I wondered sometimes if I just knew the wimps or if most military people generally prefer not to be shot at if possible. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/50 "2004-01-10T19:53:01Z")
I’d like to see a movie where a man tells his wife he’s been fooling around on her and instead of a Big, Hysterical Scene, she just goes, " Fine. I’m not divorcing you. I like my life/we cannot afford to divorce/ I’m in college after 15 years of raising kids… Fuck her all you want but she does your laundry." And in the end, the girfriend & wife become friends. The husband ends up getting dumped by the girlfriend. The wife gets that job she’s wanted and divorces him and finds love/satisfaction. And he is left with neither of them. Th kids are not snotty or spaz’s in the film. And another thing I would like to see is where the family dog in movies is not well behaved, unless it is worked into the plotline. I just want to see dialoge interupted with a “Jesus, I just let you out five minutes ago. Pick a side of the door and stay on it, would you.” 🙂 The other done-to-death theme in movies is: Evil Empire with a crazy overlord verses the rag tag fugitive freedom fighters for Truth. Naturally, the underdog wins, usually by the third movie. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/51 "2004-01-10T20:44:17Z")
Mistaken identity plots. I find them incredibly frustrating. “Oppsites attract” love stories. any plot in which a character comes into wealth only to discover that it doesn’t bring happiness. Just once I want tos ee wealth bring happiness. Plots in which the spoiled, rich girl finds out what it’s like to be poor and learns valuable lessons. Plots which call for a character to “pose” as someone or something else, especially when this device requires everyone else in the movie to be a complete idiot who can never put two and two together. I especially hate scenes in which a cornered character contrives completely absurd explanations for holes in his/her story which are swallowed without question by the other characters. Otherworldly characters such as aliens or robots who are endlessly fascinated by human behavior. I want to see an alien who doesn’t give a crap what it “means to be human.” Movies in which a character has a limited amount of time to accomplish some goal in order to inherit money (e.g., "He has 48 hours to become…a doctor). This especially bad if the “condition” of the inheritance includes getting married. Rob Schneider movies. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/52 "2004-01-10T20:56:11Z")
I wish they’d retire the sequel offshoots of **Yumblie** ’s “the male and female leads get together after defeating the bad guys” rule. 1. When the sequel is made, the male lead returns and the female lead doesn’t, so he gets to have the same kind of bonding experience/action packed first date with a brand new hot babe. Lather/rinse/repeat for continuing sequels. I know Hollywood _needs_ to bring in a new hottie to lure in the teenage boys to the sequel or contract negociations fall flat or the actress doesn’t want to come back, but still it’s the same thing each time. How about having the hero dismiss the now ended relationship (as people often do in real life) with the female lead from the first film, “Yeah, she was cute and the sex was great, but she was annoying when people weren’t shooting at us.” The same could be done if the female lead returns instead (which would be a nice change too, “I don’t what I ever saw in him other than his ability to out run a massive fireball.” At least we know and accept James Bond is a cad and will ditch the babe by the next movie anyway, so he gets a pass. 2. Or if both leads return, they are now having relationship troubles or are separated, making way for a new romantic rival to appear in the action. The rival usually: a) Is a mole working for the baddies and will either be found out and killed. b) Will have a change of heart and die in a noble sacrifice so the leads can be together since their love is true. c) Befriends both leads after a few forced jealous moments or comedic infidelity mix-ups worthy of the worst episode of _Three’s Company_. d) Has a whole other noble agenda that the male lead misreads as romantic intentions (or he is being used to further the other noble agenda). Or the rival is involved with the heroes’ boss all along and is out of the male lead’s league. 1. The female lead returns, only to be kidnapped in the opening of the film and be turned into a typical damsel in distress for most of the film, while the hero mounts a nobel epic quest to recover the female lead. She gets to fight off the baddie’s advances, act alternately angry and frightened and say, “wait until he gets ahold of you!” The above mentioned romantic rival may turn up while the female lead is out of the picture, and any of the earlier mentioned options may occur. Damn, I’ve spent way too much time watching movies to have thought this stuff out to this degree. ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/53 "2004-01-10T23:32:20Z")
Any movie in which the lead (usually a woman) gets a makeover that suddenly fixes all of the major problems in her life (remember kiddies, just take off your glasses, head over to the Gap, and all your problems will be solved… by a runaway bus as you cross the street, you blind bat!) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/54 "2004-01-11T00:52:14Z")
Where the black character actor in an action film says, " Don’t worry, I’ll come home." or some such thing and then dies a heroic death. Pretty much, black actors get wiped out across the board. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/55 "2004-01-11T01:04:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Diogenes_ > Otherworldly characters such as aliens or robots who are endlessly fascinated by human behavior. I want to see an alien who doesn’t give a crap what it “means to be human.” Or, aliens whose entire culture is one facet of human exsistence taken to extremes. Or, aliens whose culture is identical to some pre-modern human culture, such as feudal Japanese, or ancient Greeks. Or, aliens who are just like humans in every respect except they’ve got weird bumps on their forehead. Or, aliens who can interbreed with humans. Or, aliens who speak English. Pretty much any alien that’s ever been on Star Trek, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Dracul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/50afbb/32.png) [@Vlad\_Dracul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Dracul)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/56 "2004-01-11T01:47:25Z")
Movies in which the highly-trained elite military guys are portrayed as drunken, moronic slackers who spend all their time chasing women and getting in trouble, and yet are magically able to perform their missions with superhuman efficiency. The cop who casually violates every rule in the book, despite multiple warnings from his captain, kills a bunch of people, causes incalculable property damage, and escapes any sort of punishment for his behavior upon catching (more often: killing) his quarry. Any movie whose plot requires an obvious violation of the natural laws that appear to exist in the movie’s own little universe. I can accept that Superman can fly, but I can’t accept that woman in “Independance Day” avoiding an explosive shock wave simply by stepping into an open closet. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/57 "2004-01-11T01:49:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yumblie \* > \*\* I’d like to see a movie where the male and female just defeated the whatever, and they gaze into each other’s eyes, the music builds, and then just say “Well, bye” and go their separate ways. \*\* The Third Man? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andymurph64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@andymurph64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andymurph64)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/58 "2004-01-11T03:38:58Z")
Just saw another movie and so I saw a trailor… Any movie where a kid is thrust into an adult world and takes it by storm with his/her simple/enlightened thought and succeeds brilliantly where stale adults fail. This includes movies where a young boy/girl wake up to find they are an adult. Same applies for country bumbkins going to the city and doing the same thing…or retarded/mentally deficient being extremely enlightening to those around them. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/59 "2004-01-11T05:02:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andymurph64 \* > \*\* > > Same applies for country bumbkins going to the city and doing the same thing…or retarded/mentally deficient being extremely enlightening to those around them. \*\* Being There. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/60 "2004-01-11T05:25:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sampiro \* > **-Movies about “by the book” older cops and their maverick partners (though it might be interesting to have a by-the-book rookie cop and an out of control old one).** First time I recall seeing that was _Stakeout_ with Estevez and Dreyfuss doing the switch. And yes it did enhance the first movie I saw it in…after ho-hum. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723.md?page=4)