# Movie Plots that Need to Be Retired **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 9, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723 "2004-01-09T21:45:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/61 "2004-01-11T06:12:34Z")
> [@](#): > > The same could be done if the female lead returns instead **Speed 2** ---
**Author:** ![AngelOfMusic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@AngelOfMusic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelOfMusic)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/62 "2004-01-11T07:00:00Z")
\*a-boy-and-his-dog stories, especially where the boy rescues the dog from being abused/neglected and the dog turns out to be really incredible and plays a sport or routinely rescues babies and kittens from burning buildings or something \*any movie about a kid who has a dream but can’t chase it because of their parents, or about a kid who follows their parents dream and then realizes it’s not their own any movie featuring stock characters: the hot jock (who is ultimately just an object that the non-popular leading lady wants and gets) the popular but mean cheerleader (who is “popular” despite the fact that everyone hates her, has no reason for being mean, usually has two or three friends (a brunette and a black girl, usually. sometimes a redhead) who follow her around and do nothing but laugh at her “jokes” and ends up being embarassed in front of the whole school.) the goth girl (always speaks really slowly and talks about nothing but death and morbidness) etc ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/63 "2004-01-11T07:14:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*_Big Trouble in Little China._ > \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DogsLunch \* > \*\*The Pelican Brief > \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by interface2x \* > \*\*I know of another one, but it’s still kinda new (not yet out on DVD), so I’ll spoilerize it - > > Lost in Translation > > \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cicero \* > \*\*The Third Man? > > 😃 \*\* All right! All right! I admit I don’t watch a lot of movies. But come on, you know that despite the few exceptions out there, that cliche is still going strong in many of today’s movies. Another cliche: everyone becoming MacGyver in dire situations. It seems as though no matter what the hero’s background or intelligence, if he’s in a dangerous situation he’ll be able to quickly find something in his environment that will help him, even in a state of panic. There are a lot of times where a hero will immedietely figure something out that I never would’ve figured out if I were in a calm state of mind and had all the time in the world (of course, maybe I’m just stupid). I’m sure there are many movies that take exception to my cliche, so before you hurl at me another list of movies, let me just say that I’d like to see _more_ movies that address the issue. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/64 "2004-01-11T07:25:24Z")
Okay, rather than being clever and naming movies, this is one concept that has always annoyed me greatly. When the ‘hero’ finds a body. He/she goes and reports it to the police, and when they go to the location the body is no longer there. It is not so prevalent in movies now, but in shows and films pre war it was used frequently. An how often has it ever happened? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/65 "2004-01-11T07:37:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vlad Dracul \* > \*\*Movies in which the highly-trained elite military guys are portrayed as drunken, moronic slackers who spend all their time chasing women and getting in trouble, and yet are magically able to perform their missions with superhuman efficiency. \*\* I’m curious as to why you think this isn’t true. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/66 "2004-01-11T07:38:21Z")
How about ANYTHING involving the a bunch of kids who normally wouldn’t associate with each other coming together? I’ve just seen the preview for _The Perfect Score_, where scheming kids decide to steal the SATs. Ugh. I’d rather sleep naked next to Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/67 "2004-01-11T08:37:12Z")
Idealistic teacher goes into ghetto urban high school where every kid looks like he just got out of prison, and by the end of the film they are all singing Kumbya around the campfire and the pregnant girl who had her baby and graduated suddenly announces she just got her full scholarship to Harvard. All Lifetime television movies: “Mother, Even Though I Have Breast Cancer And An Illegitmate Crack Baby, Can I Marry A Serial Killer? The Mary Jones Story.” After being forced to take in cute boy (or girl), cranky old man (or woman) becomes loveable just when child services arrive to take the kid away. Any film “starring” Pauly Shore. ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/68 "2004-01-11T13:00:12Z")
I may or may not be drunk but I haven’t noticed anyone mentioning the “annoying little brat is for some reason chased by two mentally challenged criminals. Using the tricks he has learned in his years as an Evil Little Shit, he foils their plans while painting them in a bright color/roasting their testicles/sqashing their testicles/burning their heads/making them cry” type of film. Youðve all seen one… Also, if someone working on a script gets the idea “Hey! Rob Schneider/Martin awarence/Ice-T/ Pauly Shore would be perfect for this!”, the script has to be burned. That should be a law. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/69 "2004-01-11T20:15:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Superdude \* > \*\*Ugh. I’d rather sleep naked next to Michael Jackson. \*\* Unless you’re Haley Joel Osment I can’t think of a safer place to be. ---
**Author:** ![Insecta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3da27b/32.png) [@Insecta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Insecta)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/70 "2004-01-11T23:03:24Z")
1: Anything with the phrase “Buck Astefeller had known nothing but success” or allusions to “the best lawyer money can buy” in the preview. 2: Black guy meets white guy, which ultimately concludes with each accepting the gross stereotypes that comprise the other’s personality. 3: Guy comes back for one last big job (typically crime or police related). If anyone feels like looking it up, the Onion did a great parody, with a ‘real estate agent coming back for one last job’. 4: Covers a lot of what people already said, but films about the misery inherent in money, produced and starring some of the richest people on the planet. Not plots, but personal irritations… 1: Tinted films… It is not artistic to have everything in your film tinted green/turquoise/dark blue, etc. Colour exists - deal with it, but don’t wash it out for no apparent reason. 2. Utterly humorless films… Life is funny. There are always people around making wisecracks, there is always irony, etc, etc… Often it helps people through the bad times. I’m not saying every movie should be a joke a minute, but completely removing it from even the most sombre movies just makes it surreal. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mullets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/aeb1de/32.png) [@John\_Mullets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mullets)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/71 "2004-01-12T00:16:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yumblie \* > \*\*I’m sure there are many movies that take exception to my cliche, so before you hurl at me another list of movies, let me just say that I’d like to see _more_ movies that address the issue. \*\* Wouldn’t your suggestion then become the cliche were more films to adobt it? ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/72 "2004-01-12T03:36:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Mullets \* > \*\*Wouldn’t your suggestion then become the cliche were more films to adobt it? \*\* Don’t be silly. I don’t _really_ want them to follow my suggestions, because then I would have to resort to complaining about my own suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723/73 "2004-01-12T03:58:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*I’d like to see a movie where a man tells his wife he’s been fooling around on her and instead of a Big, Hysterical Scene, she just goes, " Fine. I’m not divorcing you. I like my life/we cannot afford to divorce/ I’m in college after 15 years of raising kids… Fuck her all you want but she does your laundry." > > And in the end, the girfriend & wife become friends. The husband ends up getting dumped by the girlfriend. The wife gets that job she’s wanted and divorces him and finds love/satisfaction. And he is left with neither of them. Th kids are not snotty or spaz’s in the film. > > And another thing I would like to see is where the family dog in movies is not well behaved, unless it is worked into the plotline. I just want to see dialoge interupted with a “Jesus, I just let you out five minutes ago. Pick a side of the door and stay on it, would you.” 🙂 > \*\* I have stolen your idea. Mwahahahaha. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-plots-that-need-to-be-retired/223723.md?page=3)