# Movie Romances You Found Extremely Disturbing (though they weren't supposed to be) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 27, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053 "2006-03-27T06:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/101 "2006-03-29T00:19:28Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > It’s been a while since I’ve seen that movie, but IIRC he (Wayne) also encourages his daughter’s boyfriend (played by Wayne’s uniquely talentless son Patrick) to spank her (daughter/girlfriend) as well. Apparently he was just a rancher with a fetish. He wasn’t the only one. Elvis spanks a teenage girl in _Blue Hawaii_ (she even says something like “nobody ever cared enough for me to do that”). I remember thinking it was sooo odd (and kinky) when I saw the movie, especially since I knew a little about his real-life fetishes. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/102 "2006-03-29T00:20:10Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > If you want some news that will make Bogie seem like Mel Gibson (young) , consider that IRL, Betty had a crush on Burgess Meredith, so I think that Bogie was her best choice by far. > hh Who also nabbed Paulette Goddard. What exactly did that penguin have? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/103 "2006-03-29T00:28:26Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > If you want some news that will make Bogie seem like Mel Gibson (young) , consider that IRL, Betty had a crush on Burgess Meredith, so I think that Bogie was her best choice by far. > hh Who’s this Betty? Bogart had four wives: Helen Menken, Mary Philips, May Methot, and Lauren Bacall. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humphrey\_Bogart](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humphrey_Bogart) ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/104 "2006-03-29T00:38:44Z")
Re: _Oldboy_ _Voyager_ falls into this category too. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/105 "2006-03-29T00:49:21Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Who’s this Betty? Bogart had four wives: Helen Menken, Mary Philips, May Methot, and Lauren Bacall. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humphrey\_Bogart](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humphrey_Bogart) Lauren Bacall’s real first name was Betty. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/106 "2006-03-29T02:32:12Z")
_French Kiss_- Kevin Kline plays such a total sleazebag, that I can’t see Meg falling for him. Besides, he’s a\* smoker,\* and she’s not. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/107 "2006-03-29T02:51:22Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > If you want some news that will make Bogie seem like Mel Gibson (young) , consider that IRL, Betty had a crush on Burgess Meredith, so I think that Bogie was her best choice by far. > hh [Penguin] Faugh! Curses! Foiled! Waugh-waugh-waugh-waugh! [/Penguin] ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/108 "2006-03-29T03:21:53Z")
I second, or erm…twenty-second (or whatever it is) _Pretty Woman_. I didn’t see it in the theater because it sounded absurd, then when I finally saw it on video the whole time I was thinking–_this is absurd!_ I was equally disturbed that women thought it was so romantic, too…dude, he BOUGHT her. What kind of quality guy is HE?? Ick. Other than that, pretty much ANY movie where the male romantic lead is nearing double the age of the female that interests him. This is an _instant_ turnoff for me and I won’t see a movie that has it. Granted, I hate romantic films anyway (generally speaking), but when the guy is ohh…Steve Martin, and the girl is, ohh…Claire Danes…? _Ewwwwwwwwww_. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/109 "2006-03-29T03:54:51Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > _French Kiss_- Kevin Kline plays such a total sleazebag, that I can’t see Meg falling for him. Besides, he’s a\* smoker,\* and she’s not. That’s ironic because in real life he’s a non-smoker and she chain smokes. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/110 "2006-03-29T04:01:36Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > I second, or erm…twenty-second (or whatever it is) _Pretty Woman_. I didn’t see it in the theater because it sounded absurd, then when I finally saw it on video the whole time I was thinking–_this is absurd!_ I was equally disturbed that women thought it was so romantic, too…dude, he BOUGHT her. What kind of quality guy is HE?? Ick… What I loved was that he paid her $3,000 (her price) to stay with him for a week, _escort_ him places and have sex with him, and she gets furious because he makes her feel like a prostitute. Also I loved that the hotel manager told her to “come back anytime”- uh, yeah… 5 star hotel managers love to have hooker patrons who can’t use silverware, as long as they’re pretty. When the movie was big there was a great SNL parody of its trailer with Mike Myers called “Opposites Attract”. I can’t remember the exact script, but the voiceover was something to the effect of “He was on the Harvard Yachting Team, she has hepatitis and hears voices, but Opposites Attract!” There was a scene in a restaurant where the waiter asks “Do you like lobster, madame?” and she responds “I don’t know… I’ve only had crabs” and Myers’ character smiles and laughs as the theme music starts again. One of their better efforts of the time. ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/111 "2006-03-29T04:09:50Z")
I was more than a little disturbed by the romance in **V for Vendetta**. maybe not so much disturbed as pissed off, but there was definitely a disturbing element to it, for me… probably because I have read the graphic novel, and the fact that there is some question as to him being her father made it, in my mind, thoroughly disgusting that they should have any sort of romance. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/112 "2006-03-29T04:52:12Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Yeh, yeh . . . You probably hated “Taming of the Shrew” too. Don’t forget, this is pre-feminist comedy. A man had a **right** – even a duty – to dominate his women, and the man who couldn’t was ridiculous. Actually my sister decided in high school that _Taming of the Shrew_ and _1984_ were companion pieces. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/113 "2006-03-29T04:59:22Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > Other than that, pretty much ANY movie where the male romantic lead is nearing double the age of the female that interests him. :mad: :dubious: What’s wrong with **that,** thou vile ephebophilophobe?! ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/114 "2006-03-29T07:09:36Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > Other than that, pretty much ANY movie where the male romantic lead is nearing double the age of the female that interests him. This is an _instant_ turnoff for me and I won’t see a movie that has it. Granted, I hate romantic films anyway (generally speaking), but when the guy is ohh…Steve Martin, and the girl is, ohh…Claire Danes…? _Ewwwwwwwwww_. Absolutely. Ew. But of course, the opposite is just fine. Like the 79 year old Maude (Ruth Gordon) with 18-19-20? year old Harold (Bud Cort) in _Harold and Maude_. I know, double standards are a bitch, but I _love_ that movie. As for **V for Vendetta** , well the whole movie is pretty disturbing on a number of levels (I liked it a lot, though). Regarding **nevermore** ’s concern, I think it’s pretty clear that this is not the case (according to quotes attributed to Alan Moore on the subject), and it’s not like they… …do anything physical besides a chaste (there’s a friggin _mask_ in the way) kiss and a profession of love which, arguably, could be seen as more spiritual than romantic. But, ya know, to each his/her own. ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/115 "2006-03-29T07:52:34Z")
> [@vaderspal](#): > > \it’s not like they… > > …do anything physical besides a chaste (there’s a friggin _mask_ in the way) kiss and a profession of love which, arguably, could be seen as more spiritual than romantic.\ > > But, ya know, to each his/her own. arguably. and though I really, _really_ wanted to read it that way, the explicit “I fell in love with you, Evey” really fucked all for me. and I know that he WASN’T her father, but the thought crossed her mind more than once (in the comic), various parallels were drawn, and so forth, thereby it should have obliterated the possibility of romance in her mind, as it did in mine. granted, the movie and the graphic novel were different universes… but I can’t rightly separate the two in my mind enough to allow for it. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/116 "2006-03-29T08:51:06Z")
> [@nevermore](#): > > arguably. and though I really, _really_ wanted to read it that way, the explicit “I fell in love with you, Evey” really fucked all for me. > > and I know that he WASN’T her father, but the thought crossed her mind more than once (in the comic), various parallels were drawn, and so forth, thereby it should have obliterated the possibility of romance in her mind, as it did in mine. granted, the movie and the graphic novel were different universes… but I can’t rightly separate the two in my mind enough to allow for it. The way I read it in the movie (but not the comic) was that V may have orchestrated all the recent tragedies in her life, not just the one we knew about, and that he’s a colossal, narcissistic dick. But it’s okay because the bad guys were a lot worse. ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/117 "2006-03-29T12:14:02Z")
yikes, **Krokodil** , that’s a pretty big spoiler. you might consider asking a mod to edit that for you. also, I didn’t read it that way at all. but this really isn’t the thread for that discussion, so if you’ll post your reasons for that interpretation in the V for Vendetta thread I know is floating around her somewhere, I’ll respond there. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/118 "2006-03-29T13:09:54Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > :mad: :dubious: What’s wrong with **that,** thou vile ephebophilophobe?! Mods, my apologies for the above. I should not have included the word “vile” . . . or at least included a winking smiley . . . I hope **Ruffian** does not take seriously an “insult” I had to coin a new word to get across. But this issue touches a nerve with me. This old man/younger woman “ick factor” is something I’ve never been able to understand. Might start a GD thread on it. Or would IMHO be more appropriate? ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/119 "2006-03-29T13:22:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Absolutely. Ew. But of course, the opposite is just fine. Like the 79 year old Maude (Ruth Gordon) with 18-19-20? year old Harold (Bud Cort) in Harold and Maude. Ick…gotta say, the “ew” factor is pretty high for me on that one, too. I’m equal opportunity on the whole massive age (20+ years) difference thing. Ick. It’s just that in Hollywood, it seems there are about 10 movies–if not more–of (much) older male/younger female romances for every one film with an older female/younger male. Gotta say though, one of my favorite films of the last 5 years or so is _Lost in Translation_. It had the potential of turning me off if Scarlett Johannson/Bill Murray hooked up, but it did a brilliant job of displaying more of the intricacies of their relationship. They were painfully lonely and lost, and though the tension was there, the fact they never acted on it showed they were a bit more aware of their circumstances (age, marriage, time in life, etc.) than what we see in typical Hollywood schlock. FTR, the flick with Steve Martin and Claire Danes (_Shop Girl_) supposedly takes a more realistic perspective of their May/December romance. Both characters are aware of the difference, which adds to their characters’ dimensions and believability. But when Richard Gere and Winona Ryder just blindly hook up without someone saying, “Hey, she was in diapers when you bought your first house,” it just is odd and icky to me. YMMV. I gotta add another–this isn’t the movie, but the play version of _My Fair Lady_. It just might be the version I saw, but I was slack-jawed stunned when the BIG moment Henry Higgins confesses his love for Eliza, or something, his “touching” words to her are, “Fetch me my slippers.” Waaaahhhh…??? I remember turning to my equally-aghast friend, who then said, “GET A COCKER SPANIEL!” Probably the oddest end to a romance movie/play I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/120 "2006-03-29T14:59:31Z")
**Lone Star** Star crossed lovers finding out they are half siblings, and deciding to continue their relationship because she can’t have anymore children! Eww. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053.md?page=7)