# Movie Romances You Found Extremely Disturbing (though they weren't supposed to be) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 27, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053 "2006-03-27T06:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/121 "2006-03-29T16:07:24Z")
James Bond sleeping with May Day (Grace Jones) in _A View To A Kill_. (I guess it’s not romance, strictly speaking) She’s such an angry, violent character, I can’t wrap my mind around the idea of anyone having sex with her, of her body being a source (or even a recipient) of pleasure. Not that she’s not nice to look at, it’s the character that puts me off. Another Bond one that creeps me out - Solitaire in Live and Let Die. She’s so innocent, and so slavishly follows her tarot cards, that I think his tampering with her cards to make the deck all “Lovers” can be considered rape. ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/122 "2006-03-29T16:19:00Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > Another Bond one that creeps me out - Solitaire in Live and Let Die. She’s so innocent, and so slavishly follows her tarot cards, that I think his tampering with her cards to make the deck all “Lovers” can be considered rape. There are a lot of things like that in the various James Bond movies. That one always disturbed me for the reason you mention but another is at the start of _Thunderball_ when the bad guy tries to kill Bond by turning whatever that machine was up to 11. The assistant (who has been resisting his advances up to this point) saves him but he then basically blackmails her into having sex with him by threatening to report her to her boss if she doesn’t. Borderline rape at best. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/123 "2006-03-29T17:11:52Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > Ick…gotta say, the “ew” factor is pretty high for me on that one, too. > > I’m equal opportunity on the whole massive age (20+ years) difference thing. Ick. It’s just that in Hollywood, it seems there are about 10 movies–if not more–of (much) older male/younger female romances for every one film with an older female/younger male. > > Gotta say though, one of my favorite films of the last 5 years or so is _Lost in Translation_. It had the potential of turning me off if Scarlett Johannson/Bill Murray hooked up, but it did a brilliant job of displaying more of the intricacies of their relationship. They were painfully lonely and lost, and though the tension was there, the fact they never acted on it showed they were a bit more aware of their circumstances (age, marriage, time in life, etc.) than what we see in typical Hollywood schlock. > > FTR, the flick with Steve Martin and Claire Danes (_Shop Girl_) supposedly takes a more realistic perspective of their May/December romance. Both characters are aware of the difference, which adds to their characters’ dimensions and believability. But when Richard Gere and Winona Ryder just blindly hook up without someone saying, “Hey, she was in diapers when you bought your first house,” it just is odd and icky to me. YMMV. I think that the difference is this: if we are given some compelling reason within the context of the movie to suspend our disbelief concerning such a romance, then it is okay; if we are expected to believe in it just because the male leads are big-name stars - not okay. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/124 "2006-03-29T17:19:05Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > I gotta add another–this isn’t the movie, but the play version of _My Fair Lady_. It just might be the version I saw, but I was slack-jawed stunned when the BIG moment Henry Higgins confesses his love for Eliza, or something, his “touching” words to her are, “Fetch me my slippers.” > > Waaaahhhh…??? I remember turning to my equally-aghast friend, who then said, “GET A COCKER SPANIEL!” Probably the oddest end to a romance movie/play I’ve ever seen. As a note, the play on which _My Fair Lady_ is based - _Pygmalion_ by George Bernard Shaw - ends up with Eliza going off after Freddy, and Higgens’ last words are, “Ha! Marry Freddy!” They tacked on a happy ending for the musical. I think his “Fetch me my slippers” is supposed to be a sign that he knows she’s back for good or something. For the time in which it’s set (i.e. “ago”), the obvious submission of a woman is pretty much a signal of her willingness to become a wife, so it makes sense. I agree that he should have stuck with a puppy. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/125 "2006-03-29T17:41:23Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > As a note, the play on which _My Fair Lady_ is based - _Pygmalion_ by George Bernard Shaw - ends up with Eliza going off after Freddy, and Higgens’ last words are, “Ha! Marry Freddy!” They tacked on a happy ending for the musical. > > I think his “Fetch me my slippers” is supposed to be a sign that he knows she’s back for good or something. For the time in which it’s set (i.e. “ago”), the obvious submission of a woman is pretty much a signal of her willingness to become a wife, so it makes sense. I agree that he should have stuck with a puppy. Except that that’s not the last line, at least in the movie. HIggins says “Where the devil are my slippers”, which is very different. It’s not an order, it’s a question that shows how he’s come to expect and even rely on her being there. It’s not hearts and flowers, but maybe it’s as close to romance as Higgins can get. The SDMB doesn’t care what your opinion of the movie is actually, as long as you quote it properly. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/126 "2006-03-29T18:36:48Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > Other than that, pretty much ANY movie where the male romantic lead is nearing double the age of the female that interests him. This is an _instant_ turnoff for me and I won’t see a movie that has it. Granted, I hate romantic films anyway (generally speaking), but when the guy is ohh…Steve Martin, and the girl is, ohh…Claire Danes…? _Ewwwwwwwwww_. But it happens in real life, too. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. Celine Dion and René Angélil. Angelina Jolie and (formerly) Billy Bob Thorton. ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/127 "2006-03-29T19:15:59Z")
There were many, many things wrong with _The Phantom Menace,_ of course, but I was extremely squicked out by teenage Padme meeting Anakin as a little kid. I know there wasn’t any sign of their alleged romance there, but the whole thing was just too icky. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/128 "2006-03-29T20:11:28Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > It’s just that in Hollywood, it seems there are about 10 movies–if not more–of (much) older male/younger female romances for every one film with an older female/younger male. Wonder why that is? I mean, if it’s just a matter of pandering, women are half the moviegoing public. Maybe they’re just not as turned on by the spectacle of a younger man/older woman hookup as men are by the reverse? But why is **that?** Or maybe it’s because most producers, directors and studio execs are men. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/129 "2006-03-29T20:13:23Z")
> [@eenerms](#): > > **Lone Star** Star crossed lovers finding out they are half siblings, and deciding to continue their relationship because she can’t have anymore children! Eww. Oh, come on! If they were raised apart it’s not incest on an emotional level; so if they’re not gonna breed, what does their genetic relationship matter? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/130 "2006-03-29T20:15:02Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > But it happens in real life, too. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. Celine Dion and René Angélil. Angelina Jolie and (formerly) Billy Bob Thorton. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher . . . ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/131 "2006-03-29T20:19:07Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Don’t you think there’s something to be said for that attitude? What should be said? Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. > [@](#): > > Frankly, I’ve never seen anything particular creepy about Woody Allen’s most recent marriage. The marriage itself is not the problem in my eyes. It’s his betrayal of his quasi-wife that is problematic. BTW, so far as I know, Allen’s marriage to Soon Yi is only his second. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/132 "2006-03-29T20:28:10Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > Celine Dion and René Angélil. That’s the creepiest of all creepy “star” relationships. Major ick. Although they seem happy. Guess they are into that whole Jane Austen “watch her grow up and then marry her” thing. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/133 "2006-03-30T00:17:56Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > Another Bond one that creeps me out - Solitaire in Live and Let Die. She’s so innocent, and so slavishly follows her tarot cards, that I think his tampering with her cards to make the deck all “Lovers” can be considered rape. So what’s a little rape in the line of duty?\* This dude is licensed to **kill!** We think of Bond as The Hero. We see him do a lot of killing, but it’s usually like a soldier killing armed enemies in the field. We tend to forget that covert ops is no work for a gentleman, and someone like Bond almost certainly will be assigned, now and then, to do routine wetwork. “Bond, Her Majesty’s Secret Service wants you to neutralize Fidel Castro.” “Bond, your next assignment is to inhume Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.” “Bond! Kim Jong Il! Extreme sanction!” Many of us accept the necessity of such actions under some circumstances, but at the same time we generally assume anyone capable of carrying them out would have to have some kind of empty space somewhere inside, and would not be someone you really would want to meet, let alone fuck. The “dead-eyed assassin” is another cinematic stock figure. Maybe we should feel creeped out when we see **any** woman in bed with Bond. \*At least in that case it **is** in the line of duty – seducing Solitaire gives bond an ally within Dr. Kananga’s organization. Whereas in _Thunderball_ he’s just trying to get laid. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Is he too vain to let just one woman get away with turning him down? ---
**Author:** ![White\_Sea\_Star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@White\_Sea\_Star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Sea_Star)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/134 "2006-03-30T01:15:20Z")
> [@missbunny](#): > > The Piano: the first one that came to mind. I am still appalled every time I hear anyone, but especially a woman, say how “romantic” (omigod BARF) this movie is. It’s revolting. This woman has had one thing in her entire shitty joyless life that made her happy and a weirdo man takes it and won’t return it unless she fucks him. I was completely disgusted by the whole thing, and more so by its reception and the awards heaped upon it. I don’t know if _The Piano]_ was meant to be romantic. Just because people take it that way doesn’t mean that was Campion’s intention. I couldn’t even watch it in one sitting because I found it so unsettling. It didn’t give me warm fuzzy gratification like a “real” romantic comedy does. It was disturbing and suspenseful and I didn’t feel any comfort until the very, very end. On topic, _Autumn in New York_ is my candidate. [Says it all, really.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0174480/awards) ---
**Author:** ![CairaJade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@CairaJade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairaJade)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/135 "2006-03-30T01:20:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Clueless: Cher was way too young for that guy, and even though they aren’t related, they have a brother/sister relationship. Doesn’t matter that he’s away at college a lot. As others have said, their parents were already divorced and it didn’t seem like they really had a brother/sister relationship at all. The age difference didn’t bother me too much because I gave it a little room for creative license and older actors playing younger parts. Paul Rudd was a 26ish actor playing a college student of non-specific age, and Alicia Silverstone was 19ish playing a high schooler at least 15 or 16. If one stretches to say she was at least 16 and he was in his first or second year of college making him say 19, I don’t find that creepy. Okay I’m biased. Austen adaptations are one of my favorite sub-genres! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/136 "2006-03-30T01:26:05Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > We think of Bond as The Hero. We see him do a lot of killing, but it’s usually like a soldier killing armed enemies in the field. We tend to forget that covert ops is no work for a gentleman, and someone like Bond almost certainly will be assigned, now and then, to do routine wetwork. “Bond, Her Majesty’s Secret Service wants you to neutralize Fidel Castro.” “Bond, your next assignment is to inhume Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.” “Bond! Kim Jong Il! Extreme sanction!” Many of us accept the necessity of such actions under some circumstances, but at the same time we generally assume anyone capable of carrying them out would have to have some kind of empty space somewhere inside, and would not be someone you really would want to meet, let alone fuck. The “dead-eyed assassin” is another cinematic stock figure. Maybe we should feel creeped out when we see **any** woman in bed with Bond. When you think about it, James Bond is a classic sociopath. He’ll lie, steal, kill or do anything else that’s asked of him with no sign of guilt. His only concern is how to get away with it. This betrays a lack of morality and a lack of respect for authority. Also, while he gets laid all the time, he is unable to form any sort of meaningful emotional relationship. (Notice how he’s always broken up with the girl by the next movie.) On the odd occasion when his actions are questioned, he is always quick to rationalize his behavior. Yeah, James Bond is definitely a pretty creepy guy. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to watch him blow up stuff and score hotties, however 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/137 "2006-03-30T02:09:36Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > When you think about it, James Bond is a classic sociopath. He’ll lie, steal, kill or do anything else that’s asked of him with no sign of guilt. His only concern is how to get away with it. This betrays a lack of morality and a lack of respect for authority. Like in all those WWII movies where bomber crews kill hundreds or thousands by pressing some buttons, cheer when the target gets hit, and only seem to care about getting back to their own base? “Lack of respect for authority”? He _is_ authority. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/138 "2006-03-30T02:38:39Z")
BrainGlutton: > [@](#): > > So what’s a little rape in the line of duty?\* This dude is licensed to kill! Yeah, but you expect him to kill _bad guys_. Solitaire was totally naive and innocent. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/139 "2006-03-30T02:50:21Z")
I’ll admit also that [The Mermaid Problem](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mermaid_Problem) bothered me in _Splash_ with a similar “Centaur Problem” bothering me during an episode of Xena. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053/140 "2006-03-30T02:53:09Z")
Ah, and Darren/Samantha bothered me. I was totally with Endora- I’d have turned bitch-boy into a cat in heat and set him loose behind an inner city Captain D’s. His refusal to allow Sam to use her powers or even let their daughter use them was on par with keeping her veiled and chained to the kitchen floor in the cruel and insecure department. (I know that technically it’s TV, but it was made into a and based upon a movie.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-romances-you-found-extremely-disturbing-though-they-werent-supposed-to-be/350053.md?page=8)