# Movie sidekicks that suck
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [December 20, 2007, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664 "2007-12-20T02:46:10Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/1 "2007-12-20T02:46:10Z")
Which is the most annoying sidekick in any movie you’ve seen?
The following rules apply:
1. The sidekick must not be the hero/protagonist. This should be obvious.
2. The sidekick must be demonstratably more annoying than the hero/protagonist. Combined with rule 1 this means, as much as it pains me to say, that _anyone_ in Red Sonja is out.
3. The sidekick must accompany the hero/protagonist for at least 1/2 of the movie. I want real sidekicks, not one-off stunts. This means the robotic taxicab in total recall is out.
4. The sidekick must save the hero/protagonist’s life at least once. Implied/referred saving of said life is allowed. (i.e. the sidekick may have saved the hero’s life sometime before the story of the movie). This is to sort the wheat from the chaff. I’m talking 80’s action/buddy movie style sidekicks.
Were it not for rule number 2 I would have nominated the little prince from Red Sonja (i’m pretty sure he fulfills rule 4 but I really don’t have the stomach to check). Somebody please help me out by pointing out someone else.
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### Author:  [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/2 "2007-12-20T02:50:09Z")
Dan Quayle, I didn’t read the rules.
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/3 "2007-12-20T02:52:46Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal]
Dan Quayle, I didn’t read the rules.
[/QUOTE]
Apparently not. 😃
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### Author:  [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/4 "2007-12-20T02:56:23Z")
[QUOTE=Superfluous Parentheses]
Apparently not. 😃
[/QUOTE]
upon reflection, I don’t see why my nomination is not valid. Quayle made GHWB look good.
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/5 "2007-12-20T02:57:58Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal]
upon reflection, I don’t see why my nomination is not valid. Quayle made GHWB look good.
[/QUOTE]
1. See rule # 4.
2. Look up the word “movie”.
3. I’m now adding rule #5: Sidekick may not play him/herself in said movie.
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### Author:  [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/6 "2007-12-20T03:02:39Z")
I hereby nominate Jar Jar Binks.
I believe this is a self-explanatory nomination, so I will not bother elaborating further.
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/7 "2007-12-20T03:06:13Z")
[QUOTE=Mahna Mahna]
I hereby nominate Jar Jar Binks.
I believe this is a self-explanatory nomination, so I will not bother elaborating further.
[/QUOTE]
That would be a good nomination if only we could determine the hero. See rule #1 and #4.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/8 "2007-12-20T03:07:23Z")
Herman Ferguson from \*\*Judge Dredd \*\* (Rob Schneider)
Short Round from **Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom**. (Jonathan Le Quan)
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### Author:  [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/9 "2007-12-20T03:07:27Z")
[QUOTE=Superfluous Parentheses]
1. See rule # 4.
2. Look up the word “movie”.
3. I’m now adding rule #5: Sidekick may not play him/herself in said movie.
[/QUOTE]
Seriously, you may have me on rule #5, but that’s it.
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/10 "2007-12-20T03:10:19Z")
[QUOTE=silenus]
Herman Ferguson from \*\*Judge Dredd \*\* (Rob Schneider)
[/quote]
Ah now we’re talking!
> [@](#):
>
> Short Round from **Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom**. (Jonathan Le Quan)
Hmm, I see I may have missed something awful. _never seen ToD_
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### Author:  [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/11 "2007-12-20T03:17:23Z")
[QUOTE=Superfluous Parentheses]
That would be a good nomination if only we could determine the hero. See rule #1 and #4.
[/QUOTE]
Hmph. I guess that you’re right on his disqualification based on lack of lifesaving moments. That said, he is still royally sucky.
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### Author:  [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/12 "2007-12-20T03:18:54Z")
[QUOTE=silenus]
Herman Ferguson from \*\*Judge Dredd \*\* (Rob Schneider)
Short Round from **Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom**. (Jonathan Le Quan)
[/QUOTE]
I see your Short Round and raise you Willie (Kate Capshaw).
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/13 "2007-12-20T03:19:48Z")
[QUOTE=Mahna Mahna]
Hmph. I guess that you’re right on his disqualification based on lack of lifesaving moments. That said, he is still royally sucky.
[/QUOTE]
He’ll probably be #1 in any quest for the most annoying misplaced comic relief. Right above that “nobody tosses a dwarf” line in that movie I once saw.
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/14 "2007-12-20T03:22:19Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E]
I see your Short Round and raise you Willie (Kate Capshaw).
[/QUOTE]
I must _really_ have missed something by not seeing Temple of Doom. Still, keep 'em coming!
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/15 "2007-12-20T03:29:48Z")
Ah, but Willie is disqualified because she was the “Love Interest/Woman In Peril,” not the sidekick.
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### Author:  [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/16 "2007-12-20T03:32:16Z")
[QUOTE=Superfluous Parentheses]
I must _really_ have missed something by not seeing Temple of Doom. Still, keep 'em coming!
[/QUOTE]
It pains me to do this, but anyone who has admittedly not seen Temple of doom cannot run such a thread.
_Bring on the squids_
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### Author:  [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/17 "2007-12-20T03:39:39Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal]
It pains me to do this, but anyone who has admittedly not seen Temple of doom cannot run such a thread.
_Bring on the squids_
[/QUOTE]
What if I promise to watch ToD ASAP and report back? BTW have you _seen_ Red Sonja?
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### Author:  [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/18 "2007-12-20T03:48:17Z")
Another vote for Short Round.
Willie didn’t technically seem to be a sidekick. I’d add a rule #5, the sidekick must not be a love interest of a main character.
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### Author:  [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/19 "2007-12-20T03:53:57Z")
[QUOTE=Superfluous Parentheses]
What if I promise to watch ToD ASAP and report back? BTW have you _seen_ Red Sonja?
[/QUOTE]
Nope, I haven’t had cable TeeVee since I got bored at age 17. I do have friends and an antenna, I do remember a wicked Simpsons with a new committee approved dog. Shortround as diggety doggety.
(watch some indy quick)
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### Author:  [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-sidekicks-that-suck/430664/20 "2007-12-20T04:00:56Z")
**Snails** , played by Marlon Wayans. He is the sidekick of **Ridley** , from _Dungeons and Dragons_.
It is functionally impossible to be a more annoying sidekick. From the very first appearance on-screen, I had an intense urge to kill him. I can understand why the villains would want to send out the army to hunt the “heroes” down to the death, as their existence is so abominable that they pollute the soil with their total obnoxiousness, of which Snails is the absolute worst.
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