# Movie theater etiquette - thoughts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920 "2011-08-16T17:07:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/41 "2011-08-17T04:55:41Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > Bottom line is that the seat becomes yours when you put your ass in it, no one else has any right to it. > > Someone may ask you to move, as a favour. You are free to oblige or deny that favour and not be an asshole. This. Most theater seats are first come, first served. If you anticipate wanting to sit together as a group, maybe you should plan ahead a bit. It’s one thing to want to cuddle your SO (quietly and discreetly) or keep your kids from being little hellions in the theater (again, quietly and discreetly, if possible), and sitting together helps in those goals. But half a dozen people in a group don’t need to sit together. They can and should socialize before and after the movie, not during the movie. They can’t all socialize without either talking loudly enough to disturb the other movie goers or they’d have to sit in a couple of rows, not a single row. I probably wouldn’t have moved. And I generally DON’T show up at a theater that early. I take my chances about my seat choice, and don’t ask other people to accommodate my lack of foresight. ---
**Author:** ![ecseas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ecseas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ecseas)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/42 "2011-08-17T07:44:05Z")
I would move, depending on how many seats away I was moving. One seat? sure, It’s makes hardly any difference to your view. Plus, it’s easy to move your stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/43 "2011-08-17T10:19:29Z")
I begin by not understanding why large groups would prefer to sit in the same row. Isn’t it much more compact to split up into several rows? That way if Jane, who’s sitting on the top-left corner of the group, needs to get something from Mary on the bottom-right corner there’s a lot less “telephoning”. Whenever I’ve gone to a movie theater as part of a big group we’d occupy at most 5 seats per row; we would already split into two rows for a group of 5 (me and same-age cousin on the back row, our brothers in front - that way we could distribute discipline as needed if any of them got rowdy, whereas if we’d been in a row the one in the middle would have been harder to access). I wouldn’t have moved unless they asked directly and made a good argument for it. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/44 "2011-08-17T10:38:01Z")
I wouldn’t have moved. If they were that keen on sitting in that particular row, they should have arrived earlier. It’s not as if there were no seats left anywhere else. In fact, it sounds as if that was the only row which already had lots of bums on seats. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/45 "2011-08-17T13:32:34Z")
I believe that every day we make choices to make the world a little better or a little worse. Often making the choice to make the world a better place is a tough one that requires sacrifice. Most of us, for example, would rather spend our evenings warm and cozy at home rather than volunteering at a soup kitchen. So when those rare opportunities to make someone’s day a bit better without any real cost to yourself just fall in to your lap like that, I really believe in jumping on that. We only get the chance to make people happy for free once in a blue moon- so you might as well take advantage of that. It’s like a gift when it is that easy. Still thinking “Yeah, but i was right”? Look how this is still affecting you. You still seem kind of worked up and defensive about what happend. This is still bothering you Right or wrong, it’s you, not them, who is making this such a negative event. It’s you who is letting them live rent free inside your head. Why? Nobody gets this emotional about a patently absurd request- you wouldn’t still be fuming if they had asked you for 10% of you salary or to borrow your sneakers. Anyway, the point is that if you had moved over and said “I’m moving over because it’s nice to do nice things for people. I hope they enjoy the movie and have a great night!” you would probably not still be all angry about this and ultimately it would have been a more positive experience for you. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/46 "2011-08-17T13:49:23Z")
I don’t know if I agree with that **even sven** I think that people getting what they want when they’re making unreasonable requests just teaches them to make more unreasonable requests and thus making the rest of the world less happy. Sometimes taking a stand on a minor issue is the best way to improve the world. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/47 "2011-08-17T14:32:06Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > So when those rare opportunities to make someone’s day a bit better without any real cost to yourself just fall in to your lap like that, I really believe in jumping on that. Rewarding people for being douchebags is the exact opposite of making the world a better place. I agree with **Moonlitherial**. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/48 "2011-08-17T14:45:10Z")
Those people who show up late and show up in mobs, and then expect everyone else to accommodate them are being assholes. They aren’t starving people in a soup kitchen, just entitled, self-absorbed douchebags. I will move if it’s a couple or if there are children. If it’s just a big group of adults or teenagers, they can go fuck themselves. If it’s so important to them to sit together, they can get there early. Those are exactly the same kind of assholes who sit there and text during the movie. If I get a chance to make those people unhappy, I’m going to take it. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/49 "2011-08-17T14:55:24Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I believe that every day we make choices to make the world a little better or a little worse. Often making the choice to make the world a better place is a tough one that requires sacrifice. :rolleyes: Letting a jerk get what he wants is not “making the world a better place.” It’s being a doormat who can’t say no. Typical **even sven** self-righteousness. She’s just \*so \*much more decent and caring than anyone else and will never let an opportunity pass by without telling you so. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/50 "2011-08-17T15:08:30Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I would have moved. I don’t see the big deal. Same here. > [@spark240](#): > > I don’t understand what the _resistance_ is. Shifting over one or two spots in the same row doesn’t mean you’re in worse seats. Avoiding eye contact, making it “harder for them to ask”? What for? Why _not_ make such a tiny gesture, if it would make somebody’s evening more comfortable? I agree. The “avoiding eye contact” part makes me think you were being a dick about it and for really little reason. > [@Infovore](#): > > It’s the principle of the thing. Principle? I’m sorry, but that’s silly. There’s no principle here, except that you should be nice to people, especially if it isn’t really costing you anything. > [@](#): > > If they had arrived 15 minutes earlier, I probably would have been fine with moving if they’d asked politely. But you don’t show up to a movie 5 minutes before it’s due to start (as I mentioned, the lights were already out and they were showing the previews) People arrive when they can. They don’t show up when they do because of a moral failing. > [@](#): > > and expect that your large group is going to be accommodated by inconveniencing the people who actually made the effort to get there on time. How do you know what kind of “effort” went into this? And, really, how much “effort” did you put into it? What did it cost you, in real terms? And what’s the inconvenience here? Hardly any at all. > [@](#): > > I’m sorry, but to trot out an old cliche: lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. In my view, this kind of a self-important, smug, and quasi-moralistic reaction to something as simple and mundane and harmless is much worse than any alleged breach of movie etiquette. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/51 "2011-08-17T15:15:39Z")
Moving down a seat or two is not that big of a deal. Going anywhere in groups can be a pain, maybe 4 out of 5 were on time and one was late. It it really _your_ seat? If it was a full house they can and do ask people to fill in the gaps. I think the theatre can probably ask you to sit anywhere they want, and if you refuse they could (but probably won’t) refund your money and send you on your way. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/52 "2011-08-17T15:19:58Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > It it really _your_ seat? If it was a full house they can and do ask people to fill in the gaps. I think the theatre can probably ask you to sit anywhere they want, and if you refuse they could (but probably won’t) refund your money and send you on your way. If it was a full house - sure, and the OP said he would have (and does) in that case. This is a half empty theatre but the people who were late for whatever reason want people to move to accomodate their desires during the previews. Forget about not making eye contact, at that point I’m watching the screen and planning my future entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/53 "2011-08-17T15:22:18Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Principle? I’m sorry, but that’s silly. There’s no principle here, except that you should be nice to people, especially if it isn’t really costing you anything. Why should I be nice to people who are being dicks to me? > [@](#): > > People arrive when they can. They don’t show up when they do because of a moral failing. It is a moral failing to expect the rest of the world to accommodate their obnoxious, entitled asses. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/54 "2011-08-17T15:25:04Z")
Look, people. There were plenty of functional seats. It’s not like the group would have had to stand if the OP didn’t move. I suppose if I go into Starbucks and someone is sitting in my favorite comfy chair, I should be able to ask them to move and they have no right to be annoyed? After all, it’s not a big deal for them to move. :rolleyes: Is the concept of “first come, first served” so hard to grasp? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/55 "2011-08-17T15:28:30Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Why should I be nice to people who are being dicks to me? Because it’s only in your mad, angry, twisted mind that they’re “being dicks.” > [@](#): > > It is a moral failing to expect the rest of the world to accommodate their obnoxious, entitled asses. Someone who is an obnoxious, entitled ass would _order_ you to move. These people did no such thing. All they did was hope that the OP would be nice enough to move of his own volition. When they saw he wasn’t going to, they did absolutely nothing to disturb him. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/56 "2011-08-17T15:29:24Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I shook my head. “I’m not moving. We got here early. If they want to sit in the good row with a group that big, they should get here early enough to be able to get enough seats together. It’s not my job to accommodate their lack of planning.” Agreed. This falls under the heading of “a screwup on your part does not constitute extra effort on mine.” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/57 "2011-08-17T15:56:23Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Because it’s only in your mad, angry, twisted mind that they’re “being dicks.” Those who expect other people to inconvenience themselves to accommodate their late-arriving mob are indeed being dicks. That is entitled and rude behavior > [@](#): > > Someone who is an obnoxious, entitled ass would _order_ you to move. These people did no such thing. Even asking is totally out of line. It’s no different than asking somebody to give up their table at a restaurant. Is it going to kill THEM if they can’t all sit together? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/58 "2011-08-17T16:03:49Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Those who expect other people to inconvenience themselves to accommodate their late-arriving mob are indeed being dicks. That is entitled and rude behavior How fun is it to transfer entirely invented states of mind to other people? Their actions do not show any evidence that they _expected_ anything. > [@](#): > > Even asking is totally out of line. It’s no different than asking somebody to give up their table at a restaurant. Actually, it’s nothing like that. But you know that perfectly well. > [@](#): > > Is it going to kill THEM if they can’t all sit together? There are a lot of things that people would like to do that are not matters of life and death. And they didn’t behave anything like it was. You know that too. But you prefer to assign to them objectionable states of mind for your personal satisfaction. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/59 "2011-08-17T16:10:18Z")
People generally feel pressure to acquiesce to even unreasonable requests (which is a pity, but that’s another topic), which is why it’s generally considered rude to ask strangers to inconvenience themselves for you unless the need is dire. Should they give up their place in line to buy concert tickets even though they got their first? Their prime spot at an outdoor event? Their parking spot near the door of a venue? If not, why should they give up their theater seats? (One of the movie theaters near us had assigned seats where you could pick out your seats ahead of time. Unfortunately, we moved so I haven’t been there in years. I miss it.) ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920/60 "2011-08-17T16:14:43Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > People generally feel pressure to acquiesce to even unreasonable requests (which is a pity, but that’s another topic), which is why it’s generally considered rude to ask strangers to inconvenience themselves for you unless the need is dire. They didn’t ask. They did nothing at all. It was the OP’s wife who suggested that they might move one chair over just to accommodate them. If my spouse had reacted the way the OP did, I would have gotten up and crossed over to the empty seat on the other side myself. > [@](#): > > Should they give up their place in line to buy concert tickets even though they got their first? Their prime spot at an outdoor event? Their parking spot near the door of a venue? If not, why should they give up their theater seats? Because moving one seat over in a theater does not create an inconvenience equivalent to either of those things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movie-theater-etiquette-thoughts/592920.md?page=4)