# Movies/Shows you wish other things had happened in. OPEN SPOILERS

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 6, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866 "2009-10-06T22:47:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/61 "2009-10-09T13:13:19Z")

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> [@jackdavinci](#):
>
> It was fairly well established that she could train large groups of inexperienced non powered women in season 7.

It’s been a while, but: didn’t they fire her, en masse?

Coming back around to what I’d wanted from that show, though: our heroine finally gets turned by one bloodsucker or another. Thus making her into BUFFY THE VAMPIRE, SLAYER.

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**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/62 "2009-10-09T13:46:24Z")

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> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> I HATE POKER
> 
> …but I suppose you’re right. Still, there are other gentleman’s games they could have played.
> 
> But to be honest, that wasn’t really a Bond movie, not as I have come to think of them. Daniel Craig was no gentleman. And he was a blonde. Too many things bothered me about that movie. It was a decent movie in its own right…but not a Bond.

Are you kidding? Craig was more bondlike than them all! (from the books)…Bond is a fancy thug. A thug fighting for Queen and Country…but he is a thug. Craig captured that IMHO.

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**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/63 "2009-10-09T14:29:05Z")

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> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> **Harry Potter** : Given the meeting with the muggle prime minister, and given that one of the recurring themes of the book was Voldemort’s hatred of, and dismissal of, muggles, I was anticipating that the climax of the book would involve a scene where Harry had successfully gotten rid of all the horcruxes, and is facing Voldemort, but of course Voldemort is a vastly more powerful wizard than him. But a mortal one. And then, bam, a special forces sniper blows his head off from 1500 yards.

I assume your tounge was in cheek about the sniper bit, but it would have been cool to have muggles involved in the resolution. Rowling hinted at the general exposure of the wizarding world since book 1, but it never came to pass.  
It might have been interesteng to contrive a way in which the Order needed help from the muggle population, and wizards and muggles joined forces to defeat Voldemort, who was a threat to both worlds.

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**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/64 "2009-10-09T15:49:04Z")

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> [@Fenris](#):
>
> Because Whedon, for all his strengths doesn’t have a clue as to how to:  
> A) deal with characters changing and growing in any substantial way and  
> B) can’t write long-term relationships (or healthy ones)

Concerning (A): What about Wesley? He changed considerably from the buffoon we saw in _Buffy_.

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**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/65 "2009-10-09T16:13:16Z")

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_Originally posted by_ **typoink**

> [@](#):
>
> As did I. The scene shows how at-risk the whole journey is, since Frodo’s control is really slipping.
> 
> My only complaint with the scene is that Sam DOES go away. If I was given the rewrite, I’d have Sam trailing them at a distance the way Gollum had been.

I very much agree with this, except after thinking it over I believe Sam \*has \*to go. It’s his last feeble, weak act in the series. Once he returns and fight Shelob, he is the very embodiment of Frodo’s strength. Frodo can’t go on any more because he’s been strong for so long. Sam has to lose and hurt and overcome to come out strong enough to carry Frodo through Mordor.

He has to grow up, stop being a gardener, and do what’s right no matter he’s going off to his inevitable death - and Frodo’s.

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/66 "2009-10-09T17:42:23Z")

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There’s one line in _Silence of the Lambs_ that bothers me. Starling has come to Lechter’s cell to give him a personality-inventory type test. Lechter taunts her for a bit, and then ridicules her by asking, “Did you think you could dissect me with this _blunt little tool_?”

A psychiatrist like Lechter should have no trouble making the pun “blunt little instrument.”

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/67 "2009-10-09T17:44:28Z")

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I’d long thought that a powerful ending for the Harry Potter series would’ve been:

Although we’re always told that death is irrevocable even in the wizarding world, it turns out that Voldemort has crafted a powerful resurrection spell. Voldemort offers to bring Harry’s parents back from the dead, but only if Harry joins his forces. Harry faces a terrible choice but does the right thing and decides that defeating Voldemort is more important, knowing he’s losing his only chance to restore his parents to life.

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**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/68 "2009-10-09T19:52:08Z")

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> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> **Buffy** : [spoiler]Not a specific change, but one big that always bugged me about the series was how utterly idiotically inept and pointless the Watcher’s Council was. I mean, nothing about it made any sense. Basically every single thing it ever did (with the exception of hiring Giles, I guess) backfired horribly. It was exaggerated beuracratic infighting and inefficiency taken to the extreme.
> 
> Part of it, of course, is the idea that there’s only one slayer in the whole world at a given time. Sure, Sunnydale has a hellmouth, but given how many vampires Buffy has to slay ALL THE TIME, not to mention the other schemes she’s constantly foiling, how is it that every other place in the entire world has not been overrun long ago?
> 
> Further, there’s some inane dialog involving Kendra in which she says that in her village, being a slayer is taken seriously, or something. How can that be? There’s an average of one slayer IN THE ENTIRE WORLD every 3 years or so. So there should be one in her village maybe every other millenium?
> 
> The whole thing just doesn’t make much sense.  
> [/spoiler]

IIRC, I think a good bit of that was fan-wanked away as the slayer followed the line of female descent. Kendra’s village must have had several families that _could_ produce slayers.

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/69 "2009-10-09T20:20:39Z")

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On _Boston Legal_ I kept waiting for Denny Crane’s cousin Martin to show up and talk to him about his experiences interacting with his sons Fraiser and Niles while they were going to college in the Boston area.

That was so freaking obvious I can not understand why it didn’t happen.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/70 "2009-10-09T20:32:24Z")

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> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> And Jules does come close to getting punched out by Kimmy–in front of witnesses, all of whom would have testified the the police that Jules started it.

However, I think we can all agree that the movie would have been vastly improved if Julia Roberts had been punched in the face.

This observation applies to any movie Julia Roberts has appeared in.

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**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/71 "2009-10-09T23:28:56Z")

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> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> **The Matrix** : When the agents have captured Morpheus, and one of them asks the other ones to leave, I was 100% convinced that the revelation was going to be that the Matrix was trying to follow a version of the laws of robotics, and was programmed to make humanity happy. Which it initially did by making a world where people could be happy in suspended animation. But parts of the matrix itself realized that the artificial world it had created wasn’t, in the long run, making people happy, so it was having a personality conflict, which is why all of the gaping security holes existed, and Agent Smith wanted to help Morpheus and Neo. Which would obviate the need for that totally idiotic battery explanation. Not to mention the second and third movies

Can I assume The Matrix is old enough to dispense with spoiler boxes?

Anyhoo, something I’ve always wanted to ask the critics of the last two movies: is part of the dislike here of The Matrix II & III because of the creators’ lack of imagination? They really could have done almost anything with the basic idea introduced in I-my favorite was endless nested Matrices, of which Zion is just the next level up. Imagine Neo traveling through dozens of levels, some very bizarre, all while Smith chases him. He finally reaches what he thinks is the ultimate level (i.e. “Reality”), defeats Smith, talks to Architect, and walks into the door which will allow him to go back for his friends and lead them to the Real World-only to find, at the end of M. II, that it ISN’T the final level. Further revelations ensue in M. III. Or is the criticism more basic than that?

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**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/72 "2009-10-10T00:15:06Z")

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> [@RealityChuck](#):
>
> Actually, the real reason they didn’t use that ending for “The City on the Edge of Forever” is that Harlan Ellison would have shown up on the Enterprise and killed everyone on board. 😉

And if I was on his jury, he would have walked.

And now it is your choice - open the door. Is it the lady - or the tiger?

Hmm, if I press this button here I can get a video of what is on the other side of the door.  
:rolleyes:

I’m guessing that if Kirk saved Edith that ep would not have gotten a Hugo, and would have been somewhere around Turnabout Intruder on the TOS favorites list.

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**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/73 "2009-10-10T00:18:25Z")

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> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#):
>
> I’d long thought that a powerful ending for the Harry Potter series would’ve been:
> 
> Although we’re always told that death is irrevocable even in the wizarding world, it turns out that Voldemort has crafted a powerful resurrection spell. Voldemort offers to bring Harry’s parents back from the dead, but only if Harry joins his forces. Harry faces a terrible choice but does the right thing and decides that defeating Voldemort is more important, knowing he’s losing his only chance to restore his parents to life.

Not as much of a change, though I like your idea:

Harry should have married Luna, who is funny and brave, not Ginny who is a terrible wimp and only exists to be rescued.  
Harry, the most powerful wizard of his generation, and a good teacher, should have been shown many years later as Headmaster of Hogwarts. Where he wound up was like if Mr. Incredible had liked his dead end job.

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**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/74 "2009-10-10T06:04:15Z")

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> [@Wheelz](#):
>
> I assume your tounge was in cheek about the sniper bit

Not particularly, actually. For one thing, it would mean the scene with the muggle prime minister, which I thought was going to be the beginning of a very interesting plot twist rather than a throwaway, actually led somewhere. Also, why _wouldn’t_ a guy with a gun hidden a ways off be a good way to kill Horcrux-less Voldemort? He’s a super-powerful wizard, but his hatred of contempt of muggles should make him blind to the threats they do pose. Would he even think of casting a bullet-deflection spell?

And it might be dramatically unsatisfying to have someone other than Harry defeat him, but if Harry did all the de-Horcruxing, that should be good enough.  
The other obvious objection is that a squad of SAS snipers would be out of place in a Harry Potter book, and I agree that it would have taken some carefully pitched writing to make it work, but I certainly think Rowling would have been up for the challenge.

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**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/75 "2009-10-10T16:51:58Z")

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> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> Not particularly, actually. For one thing, it would mean the scene with the muggle prime minister, which I thought was going to be the beginning of a very interesting plot twist rather than a throwaway, actually led somewhere. Also, why wouldn’t a guy with a gun hidden a ways off be a good way to kill Horcrux-less Voldemort? He’s a super-powerful wizard, but his hatred of contempt of muggles should make him blind to the threats they do pose. Would he even think of casting a bullet-deflection spell?
> 
> And it might be dramatically unsatisfying to have someone other than Harry defeat him, but if Harry did all the de-Horcruxing, that should be good enough.

I don’t think it would have been. I think a lot of readers would have been very angry or annoyed if, in the climactic scene, Harry wound up just standing there while some minor character killed Voldemort.

The prophecy also stated that Voldemort could only die at the hand of one person, “Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal”. The only person who fulfilled all these terms was Harry, so Harry was aware since the 5th book that if he didn’t personally kill Voldemort then no one would be able to. The scene with the Muggle Prime Minister didn’t come until the beginning of the 6th book, so there was no reason to believe this meant Voldemort would be killed by a Muggle. That Muggles would _help_, perhaps, but it was clear by then that Harry was going to have to be the one to kill Voldemort.

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**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/76 "2009-10-10T18:59:46Z")

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> [@Lamia](#):
>
> but it was clear by then that Harry was going to have to be the one to kill Voldemort.

Technically speaking,

didn’t Voldemort kill _himself_?

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**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/77 "2009-10-10T23:11:54Z")

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_ **Star Trek** _ (new version)

[Spoiler]I wish the Romulan warship stuck with the “Bird” theme and gotten away from the “Sea monster” theme that Nemesis started.

I was hoping that Spock would become the Captain, and Kirk would be the loose-cannon First Officer. I thought that would have been a fun change to the dynamic of the show.

The entire birth scene from the beginning would be much shortened. Give them time for “It’s a Boy!”, maybe shorten the naming portion a bit, and then give George Kirk just enough time to say “I love-” and then have the _Kelvin_ be destroyed (or at least the bridge section, leaving the rest of the ship to careen into the _Narada_.

Removal of all retarded transforming bladed weapons. Sulu can fight with a sword short enough to fit on his back without folding.[/spoiler]

_ **Fanboys** _

[Spoiler]Linus, when presented with the chance to preview the rough cut of Episode I before his death, but without taking his friends along, should have refused instead of going along with it. It was never about watching Star Wars, it was about watching Star Wars _with his friends._

He would then die without ever having gotten to see it (or, if you want to go for the happy ending, Lucas feels his heart grow to three times its normal size and allows him to bring his friends in to see it with him.)[/Spoiler]

_ **StarShip Troopers** _

Lt. Carmen Ibanez dies abruptly aboard _Roger Young_ during the Klendathu landings, as the scene set it up. Bonus points if Johnny Rico died here too, and the focus of the movie shifts to their surviving friends (Ace and Dizzy) being brought into Rasczak’s Roughnecks. No ill will towards the characters, I just always thought that would be a cool way to write a war story, with the primary POV characters getting killed off mid-stream.

_ **StarShip Troopers: Marauder** _

[Spoiler]First off, I’d have made this movie not suck. It had so much potential.

Bring back the Body Snatcher bugs from the mostly horrible _Hero of the Federation_ to play with the mind control plot, tone down the hamfisted religious plotline, and find a way to ratchet up the unsettling “meat for the grinder” recruiting tone that both of the sequels ended with.

Also, get rid of the slapstick tone that the third movie suffered from, and give us some more cool robot scenes that we bought the movie for.

I’d have replaced the pop star Sky Marshal with Carl from the first movie. But then, StarShip Troopers; Marauder turned out to be below the quality thresh hold required to cast Neil Patrick Harris, who instead went on to do an internet musical.😃

This brings us back to my first change: “Make the movie not suck.”

I really though I had something a little more sweeping in mind with Marauder, but it mostly comes down to “Make it not suck”[/Spoiler]

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/78 "2009-10-17T13:24:42Z")

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On TV’s _Just Shoot Me_, why didn’t Dennis Finch give us some stories about his father Jem and his grandfather Atticus?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/79 "2009-10-17T13:52:02Z")

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> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> The other obvious objection is that a squad of SAS snipers would be out of place in a Harry Potter book, and I agree that it would have taken some carefully pitched writing to make it work, but I certainly think Rowling would have been up for the challenge.

By any chance, did you ever see the animated version of Roald Dahl’s _The BFG_ (or “Big Friendly Giant”)? It’s actually [on YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb-FtNPmhsI), as luck would have it. The ending is—well, even considering it’s a g-rated children’s movie, it’s entirely appropriate for a story by the man who wrote the _You Only Live Twice_ screenplay. 🆒

It made quite an impression on _me_, when I was a kid. Probably ruined me as a children’s book author, too.

But see it for yourself. Joe Bob Ranchoth says check it out. 😃

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-shows-you-wish-other-things-had-happened-in-open-spoilers/512866/80 "2009-10-17T18:10:24Z")

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> [@John\_DiFool](#):
>
> Can I assume The Matrix is old enough to dispense with spoiler boxes?
> 
> Anyhoo, something I’ve always wanted to ask the critics of the last two movies: is part of the dislike here of The Matrix II & III because of the creators’ lack of imagination? They really could have done almost anything with the basic idea introduced in I-my favorite was endless nested Matrices, of which Zion is just the next level up. Imagine Neo traveling through dozens of levels, some very bizarre, all while Smith chases him. He finally reaches what he thinks is the ultimate level (i.e. “Reality”), defeats Smith, talks to Architect, and walks into the door which will allow him to go back for his friends and lead them to the Real World-only to find, at the end of M. II, that it ISN’T the final level. Further revelations ensue in M. III. Or is the criticism more basic than that?

It must be a near-universal meme, because I had nearly the same idea.

My final version has Neo “wake up” in the tube (like his first Awakening in the first movie), gets flushed, winds up in the water, and only this time, no one comes to get him.

He drowns, in freezing cold sewer water, in the dark, alone. The Machines won, it’s their world now, we’re just their cattle, for obscure Machine reasons we probably cannot comprehend. We wanted to explore te Galaxy and meet aliens. Instead, we essentially created aliens at home by endowing machines with intelligence and will.

Or would that have been too much of a downer ending?

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