# Movies so stupid that they literally drain off IQ points as you watch **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 25, 2008, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142 "2008-09-25T12:37:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/21 "2008-09-25T17:30:44Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > I’d like to submit the entire oeuvre of Jean-Claude Van Damme as textbook DUMB. > > Though I did always get a kick out of the half-baked excuses they’d sometimes come up with for his accent (My personal fave - he’s from Quebec… because clearly, no one in the US watches enough hockey to recognize a real quebecker accent). 🙂 Don’t forget Bloodsport, where he was “Frank Dux - American” with no explanation whatsoever of how a good ol’ American boy was pouring on the Belgian accent. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/22 "2008-09-25T17:32:49Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Every **Planet of the Apes** movie that didn’t have Charlton Heston as the star. I’ll add the ones that did. (You’re on a “strange planet” where not only have the apes evolved but they both speak and write your own dialect of American English— dude you’re on EARTH!) ---
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/23 "2008-09-25T17:36:32Z")
I just now saw **The Happening** on a long plane ride. Warning: I’ll definitely not try to avoid spoiling anything because you should never ever waste 2 hours of your life on this. You’ll thank me later. This is basically a movie about people committing suicide in gruesome ways for 2 hours because…well, because they can! Deathly Plague! We don’t know why! Freak HAPPENING!!! (People actually keep repeating the word “HAPPENING” throughout the movie, until you want to beat somebody who approved the script.) Plus, while things are HAPPENING to other people, Marky Mark tries to solve his marriage problems, which he has, because his wife once went to dinner (!) with another guy. Soon, I was rooting for the plague to wipe out everybody so they would finally cease their endless prattling. But it was when the main characters started trying to outrun the wind to escape the Deathly Plague of Unknown Purposes, I knew that this movie had been a bad choice. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/24 "2008-09-25T17:55:11Z")
> [@Ronald\_C.Semone](#): > > **Legally Blonde II** is so ridiculous as a depiction of the procedural steps in the legistative process in the U. S. Congress that the script might have been written by someone who had never actually heard of it, let alone studied it. You think they could have at least watched Scholastic Rock, Inc., … “I’m Just a Bill”. _The Core._ There, I won the thread. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/25 "2008-09-25T17:56:47Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > I woke up in the middle of the night to some John Wayne Air Force movie. I never saw so much stupid packed into 15 minutes in my life. He played an Air force officer in charge of a female Russian defector who happened to be a pilot. She had a full dress uniform and medals with her, had no accent(or even a bad attempt at an accent) and was allowed to fly an American jet. Just before I went back to sleep, the officers were hatching a plan to allow her to see all the latest top secret technology and determine what the Russians didn’t have by what she was most interested in. :smack::smack::smack: That would be _Jet Pilot_. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/26 "2008-09-25T17:59:38Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > _The Core._ There, I won the thread. NO, **The Core** was a very smart film, with a dumb premise – but they knew the premise was dumb and didn’t care. Once you get past the fact that it’s science was ridiculous, it’s a pretty good adventure. For ultimate dumb, there’s **Alien**. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/27 "2008-09-25T18:01:12Z")
_Batman and Robin_ must have had that effect retroactively – I was stupid enough to pay money to see it in a theater. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/28 "2008-09-25T18:05:53Z")
The entire Michael Bay wing, but especially: **Armageddon** - where do you even begin? I know— the idea of Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck and Steve Buscemi mining on a comet seems as good a place as any. **Pearl Harbor** - already has its own thread, but such zingers as “Ben Affleck’s missing and presumed killed- no body’s been found, but his girl turns to his (hot and expressionless) best good friend for comfort… I wonder… do ya think there’s gonna be a love triangle?” and the “three hours and the attack lasts a few minutes” aspect. **Transformers** - none of the tens of millions of Gen X/Gen Yers who are the ready made market for this movie really care about seeing them transform, let’s speed it up so you can’t really see the transformations. (And where’s Ben Affleck? He survived a comet and Yamamoto- you’re gonna tell me he’s afraid of robot cars?) Yeah, the **Got Milk?** ads were pretty cute, but did he really need to be given a multibillion dollar motion picture development deal for coming up with it? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/29 "2008-09-25T18:20:25Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > _The Core._ There, I won the thread. I’ll watch _The Core_ and you watch _Paradise_ and we’ll see who dies of cerebral hemorrhaging first. I think I’ll win. After I started this thread it occurred to me that the film had to be R-rated, way too much nudity to get a PG. So they either expected kids to sneak in or dirty old men as their target audience. Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/30 "2008-09-25T18:29:37Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > _Evan Almighty_. OK, I should have known going in that it would be bad. But I enjoyed _Bruce Almighty_, and I thought this would sort of be along the same lines but with Carell instead of Carrey. Oh dear God, it was dumb. So dumb it made my hair hurt. So dumb it made my dog cry. > > Dumb to the point that I was offended at the filmmakers passing this story off on me, and expecting me to enjoy it. I would have given it a big pass if it had at least been funny, but it was the worst combination- dumb and not funny. No redeeming value whatsoever (except maybe a couple shots of Lauren Graham. Yum.) I agree with almost everything. I think Carell is over rated. I think Lauren Graham is a super cutie (if you’re reading this Lauren, feel free to email me!). And I think this is an amazingly stupid movie. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/31 "2008-09-25T19:54:05Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > I feel stupider for having paid money to see [The Forgotten](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0356618/). Naaaaw. I watched it the first time having no ida of what it was about, and when “that” scene happened, you know which one, I bursted off laughing like crazy for about five minutes. A truly wonderful WTF moment. Just for that I consider it a great guilty pleasure. I vote for **“Transformers”**. It annoyed me in so many levels. The whole plot making no sense is one, but the “humor” based on several scenes where Bay just puts a fat guy or other in front of the camera, or how apparently the writers never saw Shia’s douchebaggy behaviour and misoginy as anything out of the ordinary. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/32 "2008-09-25T20:06:42Z")
Spoiler for a movie you don’t want to see * * * **Victory** The entire premise is about staging a soccer game in a German POW camp during WWII as a backdrop for a massive escape plan. Then, when everything comes together so that the escape can be pulled off successfully, THE ALLIED PRISONERS STICK AROUND SO THEY CAN FINISH THE SOCCER GAME!!! puh-leeeze! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/33 "2008-09-25T20:15:10Z")
Dumb movies that caused me to lose IQ? The whole sequence in Phantom Menace where Anakin Skywalker hides in the fighter, accidentally flies to the space station and does what a squadron of trained pilots was unable to do, all backed up by “Oooo, what does this button do?” dialog – I think just watching that scene caused me to forget algebra. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/34 "2008-09-25T20:24:51Z")
The Day After Tomorrow. To this day, I say bad words to the teevee whenever I see it on the channel guide. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/35 "2008-09-25T20:25:09Z")
I can’t imagine how any movie or combination of movies can be dumber than any, say, _ten minutes_ of any one of Friedberg’s and Seltzer’s “movies”. The mere existence of their _oeuvre_ has canceled out the entirety of philosophical, mathematical, technological and scientific progress made by _Homo sapiens_. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/36 "2008-09-25T20:26:19Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I’ve been accused of racism for saying this (which pisses me off), but I’ll say it anyway— > > anything that begins with **Tyler Perry’s**. Seconded. Fucking _celebrations_ of mediocrity. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/37 "2008-09-25T20:31:04Z")
I actually kind of liked \*\* Armageddon \*\* and \*\* Independence day \*\* Ducks rotting tomatoes… Look, I know they weren’t good movies and my IQ does drop when I watch them and yet they entertain me when I’m extremely bored. I have to agree with **DrDeth** The _Core_ sucked really hard. No amount of boredom could make me watch that again. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/38 "2008-09-25T20:34:46Z")
> [@Labdad](#): > > Spoiler for a movie you don’t want to see > > * * * > > **Victory** > The entire premise is about staging a soccer game in a German POW camp during WWII as a backdrop for a massive escape plan. Then, when everything comes together so that the escape can be pulled off successfully, > > THE ALLIED PRISONERS STICK AROUND SO THEY CAN FINISH THE SOCCER GAME!!! > > puh-leeeze! Holy hell! I have been trying to remember that movie for a LONG time! The arm-breaking scene- “try to make it a clean break”- was admittedly the only thing I remember about it (I was 8 when it came out) but for some reason I couldn’t find it even though I knew Sly was in it… ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/39 "2008-09-25T20:42:56Z")
[Delta Farce](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800003/) And just for the record, I didn’t choose to watch this drivel. I was outvoted and forced to view this mind-numbing, IQ draining, unfunny mess of a movie. I still haven’t recovered. Luckily, I’m a genuis, so the loss of IQ points only knocked me down to brilliant. It was a close call~ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/40 "2008-09-25T20:50:10Z")
To take this in a radically different direction I offer you the Star Wars trilogy. Not the prequels, the original ones. Think about it: doesn’t it seem that the more times someone has watched them the less mentally sound they are? There’s a direct correlation between the data and everyone knows correlation equals causation! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=3)