# Movies so stupid that they literally drain off IQ points as you watch **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 25, 2008, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142 "2008-09-25T12:37:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/41 "2008-09-25T21:01:15Z")
_Epic Movie_. I could feel my neurons going into spasm. ---
**Author:** ![Ro\_Carter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7feea3/32.png) [@Ro\_Carter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ro_Carter)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/42 "2008-09-25T23:07:37Z")
Considering I felt tremendously stupider _and_ sad for the human race as a whole after I saw the trailer for **Beverly Hills Chihuahua** , I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of brain damage that will be inflicted on people who watch the whole movie. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/43 "2008-09-25T23:12:42Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > **Cruel Intentions II** > > edit: oh, and **Demon Seed** Hey! **Demon Seed** ’s a masterpiece! I love that movie! ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/44 "2008-09-25T23:24:00Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I’ll watch _The Core_ and you watch _Paradise_ and we’ll see who dies of cerebral hemorrhaging first. I think I’ll win. After I started this thread it occurred to me that the film had to be R-rated, way too much nudity to get a PG. So they either expected kids to sneak in or dirty old men as their target audience. Brilliant! **Paradise** is truly wretched ( really, is any film with cutesy chimpanzees in it ever good? ) and the darling miss Cates was all of 17 when it was filmed, slightly elevating the prurient shudders of fixated dirty old men everywhere ( me certainly included ). But _dayummm_, she was hot ( still is, really ). The young Phoebe Cates comes pretty close to my concept of perfection in feminine beauty. So just turn off the volume and mentally excoriate yourself for being a filthy perv…you’ll enjoy it much more :p. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/45 "2008-09-25T23:24:42Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I’ll watch _The Core_ and you watch _Paradise_ and we’ll see who dies of cerebral hemorrhaging first. I think I’ll win. After I started this thread it occurred to me that the film had to be R-rated, way too much nudity to get a PG. So they either expected kids to sneak in or dirty old men as their target audience. Brilliant! Paradise has nudity and nice scenery. Turn off the sound and your brain and just enjoy it, dude.😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/46 "2008-09-25T23:26:00Z")
Ah, great minds… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![A\_shameful\_cracka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@A\_shameful\_cracka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_shameful_cracka)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/47 "2008-09-25T23:28:56Z")
> [@Ro\_Carter](#): > > Considering I felt tremendously stupider _and_ sad for the human race as a whole after I saw the trailer for **Beverly Hills Chihuahua** , I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of brain damage that will be inflicted on people who watch the whole movie. My mother wants to see that movie. She loves talking animal movies. :rolleyes: “Armageddon” may not have made me lose IQ points, but it was so stupid it made me angry. ---
**Author:** ![Musky\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90db22/32.png) [@Musky\_Moon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musky_Moon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/48 "2008-09-25T23:29:52Z")
_Strange Wilderness_…with a cast like that, I figured there had to be at least one good laugh in it. Nope. It was one of the few movies I’ve seen that truly had no redeeming value. It was the movie equivalent of packing peanuts. I felt my brain cells committing mass suicide in retaliation for for making them to endure this steaming pile of celluloid shit. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/49 "2008-09-25T23:34:36Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Hey! **Demon Seed** ’s a masterpiece! I love that movie! I liked looking at the folding geometric whatever it was supposed to be, but the rest of the movie was 100% pure stupid. edit: the simpsons takeoff with pierce brosnan was ok, though. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/50 "2008-09-25T23:42:06Z")
_Flightplan_. I had to re-learn basic multiplication tables after watching that one. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2008, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/51 "2008-09-25T23:49:12Z")
I just rewatched The Village last night. I’m left with absolutely nothing to say. (In my vidstore we have a “marquee” coming soon sign, with 12"x2.5" cards for upcoming movies. When my boss found out I have design experience, he cancelled his subscription for the readymade cards and makes me do them. I hide little bombs in them, which customers almost never notice. The one for **The Happening** says "M. Night Shyamalamadingdong’s / THE HAPPENING / Just when you thought it was safe to rent again . . . " --No one has noticed it yet. I think I’ll photoshop Carrot Top into it, see if that gets a reaction.) ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/52 "2008-09-26T00:07:42Z")
I didn’t actually watch this movie, but just reading the synopsis of [Disaster Movie](http://contest.disastermovie.org/?page_id=182) was like a punch in the brain. How can we justify living in a world where people who wrote this movie make money? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/53 "2008-09-26T00:14:45Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > I didn’t actually watch this movie, but just reading the synopsis of [Disaster Movie](http://contest.disastermovie.org/?page_id=182) was like a punch in the brain. How can we justify living in a world where people who wrote this movie make money? How on earth did you manage to read more than three paragraphs of that? ---
**Author:** ![mariposalabrown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@mariposalabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mariposalabrown)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/54 "2008-09-26T00:15:05Z")
Along with _Epic Movie_ and _Disaster Movie_, I nominate _Date Movie_. I only even gave it a chance because of Alyson Hannigan, and I turned it off with twenty minutes to go. I never stop watching movie, but even getting that far into it, I just couldn’t take another second of it. I watch a lot of cheesy horror, and have a full appreciation of tons of “bad movies”, but those freaking \_\_\_\_\_\_ Movie movies kill me. What kills me even more is that there obviously is a market for them, because they just keep making them. I’m getting angry again just thinking about _Date Movie_. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/55 "2008-09-26T00:30:04Z")
I’m torn between Paul Verhoeven’s **Starship Troopers** and Paul Verhoeven’s **The Hollow Man**. Both films are exquisite illustrations of the principle that a fantastic premise does not absolve characters of the need to react believably. **Starship Troopers** is the more consistently dumb film, maintaining at all times a uniformly crushing idiocy like the pressure of the deepest oceans until the cortical synapses simply lose their ability to conduct ions. Conversely, **The Hollow Man** playfully alternates between brutally tedious cliches and moments of dazzling retardedness unprecedented in film history, thereby playing havoc with the brain’s blood chemistry as bubbles of nitrogen are forced out of solution, explosively rupturing the capillaries deep within the corpus callosum resulting in embolism, seizure and death. The dignity of all humanity was lessened irrevocably by the fact that a script treatment for a 95 million-dollar motion picture contained the scenario: “Deep within a top-secret government invisibility lab far beneath the streets of a major city, a scientist leads a test gorilla on a leash.” ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/56 "2008-09-26T00:31:19Z")
Didn’t see _The Core_. Didn’t see _Paradise_. I’ll tell you what I did see though. I saw _Ballistic: Ecks versus Sever_. As my friend’s brother said “They must have had a screenwriting contest among 6 year olds. They took the best one and made a movie out of it.” ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/57 "2008-09-26T00:32:12Z")
I heard that Trig Palin was conceived during a screening of M. Night Shyamalan’s _The Happening._ ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/58 "2008-09-26T00:37:35Z")
[The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th Dimension](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086856/) hurt me in ways I didn’t know I could still be hurt. And I love stupid bad sci-fi movies! ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/59 "2008-09-26T00:38:21Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > I’d like to submit the entire oeuvre of Jean-Claude Van Damme as textbook DUMB. > > Though I did always get a kick out of the half-baked excuses they’d sometimes come up with for his accent (My personal fave - he’s from Quebec… because clearly, no one in the US watches enough hockey to recognize a real quebecker accent). 🙂 Did you never see the one in which he was Louisiana Cajun, then? I don’t think his movies qualify; I don’t think they’re ‘dumb’ exactly. They just never pretended to be more than laughably thin excuses to show off his abs. Not the dumbest movie I ever saw (I can’t remember the name of that one), but for second place, I nominate _The Quick and the Dead._ I kept waiting for it to make sense. I’ve watched it several times (there is one scene I love), and it just gets worse. The premise \*, the cast, the plot, and even the way the central conflict is depicted on all three levels … that actually could have been a good movie. It should have been. But it wasn’t even fun. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/60 "2008-09-26T00:46:02Z")
Ralph Bakshi’s adaptation of **The Lord of the Rings** was so stupid that it simply forgot its own ending. “Durrr… an’ then… an’ then the orcs attack some more, an’… er… an’ then Gandalf shows up, an’ everything’s okay! The End.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=4)