# Movies so stupid that they literally drain off IQ points as you watch **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 25, 2008, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142 "2008-09-25T12:37:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/61 "2008-09-26T01:25:32Z")
Fahrenheit 9/11 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/62 "2008-09-26T01:25:38Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > Ralph Bakshi’s adaptation of **The Lord of the Rings** was so stupid that it simply forgot its own ending. > > “Durrr… an’ then… an’ then the orcs attack some more, an’… er… an’ then Gandalf shows up, an’ everything’s okay! The End.” I think it was originally designed as a two-parter, but box office wasn’t good enough to make part two. I’m actually not a roto-scope hater and I thought Bakshi’s film wasn’t without some artistic merit ( heck I even liked **Wizards** , sorta )- as a child I thought the Balrog scene was cool. I doubt I’d be as impressed with the movie as an adult, but still… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/63 "2008-09-26T01:37:39Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > I’m torn between Paul Verhoeven’s **Starship Troopers** and Paul Verhoeven’s **The Hollow Man**. Both films are exquisite illustrations of the principle that a fantastic premise does not absolve characters of the need to react believably. **Starship Troopers** is the more consistently dumb film, maintaining at all times a uniformly crushing idiocy like the pressure of the deepest oceans until the cortical synapses simply lose their ability to conduct ions. Conversely, **The Hollow Man** playfully alternates between brutally tedious cliches and moments of dazzling retardedness unprecedented in film history, thereby playing havoc with the brain’s blood chemistry as bubbles of nitrogen are forced out of solution, explosively rupturing the capillaries deep within the corpus callosum resulting in embolism, seizure and death. > > The dignity of all humanity was lessened irrevocably by the fact that a script treatment for a 95 million-dollar motion picture contained the scenario: “Deep within a top-secret government invisibility lab far beneath the streets of a major city, a scientist leads a test gorilla on a leash.” You are a god. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/64 "2008-09-26T01:38:31Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > I’m torn between Paul Verhoeven’s **Starship Troopers** and Paul Verhoeven’s **The Hollow Man**. Both films are exquisite illustrations of the principle that a fantastic premise does not absolve characters of the need to react believably. **Starship Troopers** is the more consistently dumb film, maintaining at all times a uniformly crushing idiocy like the pressure of the deepest oceans until the cortical synapses simply lose their ability to conduct ions. Conversely, **The Hollow Man** playfully alternates between brutally tedious cliches and moments of dazzling retardedness unprecedented in film history, thereby playing havoc with the brain’s blood chemistry as bubbles of nitrogen are forced out of solution, explosively rupturing the capillaries deep within the corpus callosum resulting in embolism, seizure and death. > > The dignity of all humanity was lessened irrevocably by the fact that a script treatment for a 95 million-dollar motion picture contained the scenario: “Deep within a top-secret government invisibility lab far beneath the streets of a major city, a scientist leads a test gorilla on a leash.” Both movies were meta, ironic; the director was just as aware of the stupidities as you are. Still, obviously that doesn’t always work the same way for everyone. While Hollow Man is my least favorite Verhoeven, I still like the way he makes his points by giving us meaningful stupidities with a totally straight face. In my experience, as soon as you identify the stupid in a Verhoeven, you’ve identified his point. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/65 "2008-09-26T01:50:37Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Both movies were meta, ironic; the director was just as aware of the stupidities as you are. Still, obviously that doesn’t always work the same way for everyone. While Hollow Man is my least favorite Verhoeven, I still like the way he makes his points by giving us meaningful stupidities with a totally straight face. In my experience, as soon as you identify the stupid in a Verhoeven, you’ve identified his point. That doesn’t make them any less stupid, it just makes Verhoeven a pretentious twat. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/66 "2008-09-26T02:04:36Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > I think it was originally designed as a two-parter, but box office wasn’t good enough to make part two. Well yeah, but compiling a list of real flaws would require me to actually think about the movie, which I paid a black market neurosurgeon/chiropractor in Montevideo enormous sums of money to ensure I could never physically do again. > [@](#): > > I’m actually not a roto-scope hater Hell, rotoscoping is the least of that movie’s sins by my reckoning. At least rotoscoping technically counts as animation, as opposed to oh FILMING WHOLE SCENES IN LIVE-ACTION AND THEN JUST TINTING THEM VAGUELY. > [@](#): > > and I thought Bakshi’s film wasn’t without some artistic merit ( heck I even liked **Wizards** , sorta ) Well, I can’t help you there. I do know a guy in Montevideo though… > [@](#): > > - as a child I thought the Balrog scene was cool. I doubt I’d be as impressed with the movie as an adult, but still… Let’s find out! As ever, Youtube comes to the rescue with [Gandalf Y El Balrog](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUg-xLyoz2I). Dig those terrifying Second Age platform shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/67 "2008-09-26T02:04:43Z")
I think Starship Troopers is a lesser form of stupid. I honestly can’t decide whether or not the movie has any actual merit (or whether such merit is merely an artifact from the book, which I can only dimly remember). But I wouldn’t cast it down in the pits of stupid-movie-hell with movies like _Swordfish_, where I think the cast and director ought to personally reimburse the audience for the time and money spent watching it. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/68 "2008-09-26T02:05:04Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > [The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th Dimension](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086856/) hurt me in ways I didn’t know I could still be hurt. And I love stupid bad sci-fi movies! Aw come on,\* TAoBBAtED\* is one of the most successfully campy smart/stupid movies ever made. Endlessly entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/69 "2008-09-26T02:20:02Z")
_Swordfish_. I’m no computer whiz (a friend at law school recently called me the “second-least computer savvy person he knows”) but every single thing involving computers in this movie (which allegedly, was most of it) was so completely absurd. Not even the power of Hugh Jackman’s hotness + Halle Berry’s boobs could save this movie – even the scene where she flashes them is stilted on a legendary level. I have never forgiven the friend who said it was “not bad.” LIES. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/70 "2008-09-26T02:30:48Z")
_Star Wars, Ep. 1 Star Wars, Ep. 2 Star Wars, Ep. 3_ I win! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/71 "2008-09-26T02:39:27Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Both movies were meta, ironic; the director was just as aware of the stupidities as you are. Still, obviously that doesn’t always work the same way for everyone. While Hollow Man is my least favorite Verhoeven, I still like the way he makes his points by giving us meaningful stupidities with a totally straight face. In my experience, as soon as you identify the stupid in a Verhoeven, you’ve identified his point. But even if that is entirely true, it simply further validates my initial point: that Verhoeven makes some colossally, transcendentally stupid movies. The possibility that he is doing it on purpose doesn’t change the end result; it just means he’s that much more culpable. If he’s striving to make a point, it’s the exact same point that directors like Bruckheimer and Bay are also making purely by intuition, without having to work at it. Some movies can successfully depict aggressive stupidity to make an intelligent point: neither **Starship Troopers** nor **The Hollow Man** ever rise to that level as movies. They are substantatively indistinguishable from legitimately mindless films. If a person cynically enters a chimp’s paintings in an abstract art show and wins first prize, it might call the other artists or the judging process into question. It doesn’t mean that the chimp has any talent. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/72 "2008-09-26T02:45:18Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > Let’s find out! As ever, Youtube comes to the rescue with [Gandalf Y El Balrog](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUg-xLyoz2I). Dig those terrifying Second Age platform shoes. Youtube is blocked at my current location, so I’ll check it out later. But, c’mon now. Even if it turns out to be awful and my happy memory of my mom taking me to the Ferndale cinema in a pouring rainstorm while listening to **The Doors** ’ “Riders on the Storm” is forever tarnished by your absolute dedication to forcing me to see the truth behind the veil of lies that is my childhood memory, all it will prove is that it might be a _bad_ movie ;). But can any film based on ( and reasonably faithful - no elves at Helm’s Deep! ) Tolkien really be called _stupid_? The source material is too highbrow for that IMHO. Crap, perhaps. Dumb, I doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/73 "2008-09-26T02:49:09Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > Youtube is blocked at my current location, so I’ll check it out later. > > But, c’mon now. Even if it turns out to be awful and my happy memory of my mom taking me to the Ferndale cinema in a pouring rainstorm while listening to **The Doors** ’ “Riders on the Storm” is forever tarnished by your absolute dedication to forcing me to see the truth behind the veil of lies that is my childhood memory, all it will prove is that it might be a _bad_ movie ;). > > But can any film based on ( and reasonably faithful - no elves at Helm’s Deep! ) Tolkien really be called _stupid_? The source material is too highbrow for that IMHO. Crap, perhaps. Dumb, I doubt. Oh lord, when you put it like that, please don’t check it out. I beg you, just leave well enough alone. Enjoy your warm sepia-toned memories and leave that link forever untouched. I’m sorry I even brought the subject up. ---
**Author:** ![squeekster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@squeekster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeekster)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/74 "2008-09-26T03:19:19Z")
I think a person would have to go a long way to find a movie more dumb and/or mind numbing one from back in 1978. [Attack of the Killer Tomatoes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebfLWAB8bY4) ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/75 "2008-09-26T03:39:31Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > But even if that is entirely true, it simply further validates my initial point: that Verhoeven makes some colossally, transcendentally stupid movies. The possibility that he is doing it on purpose doesn’t change the end result; it just means he’s that much more culpable. If he’s striving to make a point, it’s the exact same point that directors like Bruckheimer and Bay are also making purely by intuition, without having to work at it. > > Some movies can successfully depict aggressive stupidity to make an intelligent point: neither **Starship Troopers** nor **The Hollow Man** ever rise to that level as movies. They are substantatively indistinguishable from legitimately mindless films. If a person cynically enters a chimp’s paintings in an abstract art show and wins first prize, it might call the other artists or the judging process into question. It doesn’t mean that the chimp has any talent. But wasn’t **Starship Troopers** a satire? I thought the whole point was making it over the top to mock the political viewpoint of the novel? ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/76 "2008-09-26T03:51:07Z")
> [@5-HT](#): > > But wasn’t **Starship Troopers** a satire? I thought the whole point was making it over the top to mock the political viewpoint of the novel? Making a terrible movie about how bad your own strawman is isn’t much of an accomplishment. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/77 "2008-09-26T04:16:56Z")
[_Deep Impact:_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_Impact_(film)) Much less dumb than _Armageddon,_ but shares the premise that if an extinction-level asteroid is headed towards Earth, you can solve the problem by blowing it into millions of fragments of equivalent aggregate mass, all headed towards Earth. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/78 "2008-09-26T04:29:51Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Both movies were meta, ironic; the director was just as aware of the stupidities as you are. Still, obviously that doesn’t always work the same way for everyone. While Hollow Man is my least favorite Verhoeven, I still like the way he makes his points by giving us meaningful stupidities with a totally straight face. In my experience, as soon as you identify the stupid in a Verhoeven, you’ve identified his point. I’ve never seen **Starship Troopers** (though I realized not too long ago that I freaking _own_ it. How that happened, I have no clue). But I have seen **Hollow Man** and that movie made me dumb _and_ violent. I wanted to punch things until they bled. Though typing that, I just realized that **Hollow Man** is a pun. Huh. Kevin Bacon’s character is utterly devoid of human decency and once put outside what he perceives to be society’s restrictions (operating on a childlike ‘if you can’t see me it didn’t happen’ rationale? Because seriously, if you’re being attacked by an invisible man, who else could it be besides the only known invisible man? Anwho…) he went completely nuts. Is that his point? We’re all hollow men? I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/79 "2008-09-26T04:34:16Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > Making a terrible movie about how bad your own strawman is isn’t much of an accomplishment. well ok then. I thought it was pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/80 "2008-09-26T04:36:27Z")
> [@squeekster](#): > > I think a person would have to go a long way to find a movie more dumb and/or mind numbing one from back in 1978. > > [Attack of the Killer Tomatoes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebfLWAB8bY4) Does it count if it’s dumb on purpose? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=5)