# Movies so stupid that they literally drain off IQ points as you watch **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 25, 2008, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142 "2008-09-25T12:37:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/101 "2008-09-26T18:18:46Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > But if you simply look on the film on it’s own, (without thinking of Robert H spinning in his grave) then you see it as a fun SF action film. I disagree. Except for the boobies, I don’t see any real reason to care about the protagonists’ actions. They’re a bunch of thugs who respond with violence to someone questioning their abysmal combat doctrine during training, die in droves thanks to a lack of armour, artillery or air support, and aren’t cool enough (or equipped with anything cool enough) to be interesting despite these flaws. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/102 "2008-09-26T18:36:20Z")
The Nic Cage “movie” **Next**. I would try to explain more, but my brain erased those memories almost as soon as the credits rolled, thank god. My brain is awesome that way–I barely remember the details of _any_ Star Wars movies. Still, **Next** is just about the dumbest movie ever made. ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/103 "2008-09-26T18:40:59Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > [The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th Dimension](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086856/) hurt me in ways I didn’t know I could still be hurt. And I love stupid bad sci-fi movies! Silence. Or I am borrowing **Skald’s** flying monkeys and siccing them on you. I second The Avengers. Sean Connery dressed in a teddy bear costume, trying to take over the world. The WTF looks on our faces upon seeing that were priceless. And exceeded only by the WTF look on Connery’s face throughout the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/104 "2008-09-26T19:00:38Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Most dudes that hate Starship Troopers because it didn’t do a good job of adapting a very good book to the screen. But if you simply look on the film on it’s own, (without thinking of Robert H spinning in his grave) then you see it as a fun SF action film. Where only the commercials made it up to great, the rest was “eh” to “eh+”. Plus boobies, which gives any film an add’l +, or 1/2 star. Lies. It was never fun. And they flashed the tatas at the beginning, thus deceiving me into sticking around longer watching for more. I may have cheered more for the characters if they didn’t keep opening their mouths and talking so much. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/105 "2008-09-26T19:05:25Z")
Taken in a vacuum, **Starship Troopers** was a pretty decent popcorn sci-fi action flick, in my opinion. Sure, it was mind-numbingly stupid - but if they _know_ it’s stupid and ham it up the whole time, than it’s okay. My nomination: Paris Hilton in **Bottom’s Up**. Thanks to Comcast’s dogshit latency in their OnDemand browsing and marketing tactical genius in defaulting every menu to “TAKE MY MONEY”, I managed to accidentally order this while viewing the preview for the sheer hilarity. I turned it off within fifteen minutes, and it’s really hard to keep me from finishing a movie. Jeeeezus. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/106 "2008-09-26T19:10:46Z")
> [@Carl\_Corey](#): > > Silence. Or I am borrowing **Skald’s** flying monkeys and siccing them on you. _sprays Monkey-B-Gone liberally around perimeter_ All I can say is I have a new appreciation for the scene in _Robocop_ where Peter Weller gets shot to pieces. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/107 "2008-09-26T19:35:45Z")
I submit to you, [Shark Attack 3: Megalodon](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7OsBEwsu-E) (Youtube link) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/108 "2008-09-26T19:39:57Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > [Enchanted.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0461770/) > > Oh, it looked cute and wry in the movie theaters, so I tried to watch it when it came on cable. But when the heroine managed to get all the creatures of the forest (and the drain) to clean the apartment in the real Manhattan I gagged. It would have been a lot funnier if she’d done her little tra-la-la trill and nothing happened. > > Fish out of water, people, means fish out of water. You do not bring the water to the fish. You leave the fish out of the water for maximum hilarity. I disagree 100%. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/109 "2008-09-26T21:29:56Z")
> [@Carl\_Corey](#): > > Silence. Or I am borrowing **Skald’s** flying monkeys and siccing them on you. I’ll teleport you a squadron of monkeys along with a flying monkey remote control (with a 24-hour self destruct set, of course, so watch yourself) if you promise to use them only for evil. ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/110 "2008-09-26T21:53:23Z")
**Starship Troopers** was meant as ironic, I took it as ironic, and I actually enjoyed it (not all that much, but it was at least average). They were constantly winking at the audience, and that alone disqualifies it from being the stupidest movie ever. The bug-crushing commercials were _fantastic_. No, I have to second **The Happening** as just a hot pot of sheer dumb. When the movie takes itself so seriously in that spooooooky M. Night Dingdong way, but then at the same time, people are actually trying to outrun the wind because OMG that spooooooky wind must have the virus thingy-- you know that this movie is special. The ending scene where they slowly leave the protective safety of their respective places was perhaps the dumbest I’ve ever seen. The virus-thing is potentially all around, yet they BOTH risk their necks, and they BOTH walk incredibly slowly, as if trying to absolutely maximize their exposure time. Not only that, the woman takes the freakin’ girl with her, as if taking out her dislike of the poor thing by giving her a chance to die needlessly, too. And these are just random sampling of Teh Dumb in **The Happening**. It’s incredible, it really is. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/111 "2008-09-26T21:58:03Z")
> [@RiverRunner](#): > > **Independence Day** has to be a contender. > > RR I almost walked out of the theater on this one. When Will Smith’s fighter pilot character “borrows” a military helicopter and flies blindly around thousands of square miles and finds his girlfriend who has just saved the Presdent’s wife… OH COME ON… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/112 "2008-09-26T21:58:30Z")
> [@Windwalker](#): > > **Starship Troopers** was meant as ironic, I took it as ironic, and I actually enjoyed it (not all that much, but it was at least average). They were constantly winking at the audience, and that alone disqualifies it from being the stupidest movie ever. The bug-crushing commercials were _fantastic_. > > No, I have to second **The Happening** as just a hot pot of sheer dumb. When the movie takes itself so seriously in that spooooooky M. Night Dingdong way, but then at the same time, people are actually trying to outrun the wind because OMG that spooooooky wind must have the virus thingy-- you know that this movie is special. The ending scene where they slowly leave the protective safety of their respective places was perhaps the dumbest I’ve ever seen. The virus-thing is potentially all around, yet they BOTH risk their necks, and they BOTH walk incredibly slowly, as if trying to absolutely maximize their exposure time. Not only that, the woman takes the freakin’ girl with her, as if taking out her dislike of the poor thing by giving her a chance to die needlessly, too. > > And these are just random sampling of Teh Dumb in **The Happening**. It’s incredible, it really is. Clearly I am the only person who came close to liking The Happening, so I guess it’s up to me to defend this. The Wahlburg & Dechanel characters leave their shelters EXPECTING to die, CHOOSING to die, because they want to die together, and they want to die quickly. They could not remain hidden forever; they had no access to food or water. As horrible as the deaths they had seen had been, at least it seemed that the victims were impervious to pain as it happened. I didn’t think they were acting unreasonably. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/113 "2008-09-26T23:39:16Z")
Everybody in this movie appeared to have an IQ of 55 or lower.:o ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/114 "2008-09-27T05:03:41Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > As horrible as the deaths they had seen had been, at least it seemed that the victims were impervious to pain as it happened. I didn’t think they were acting unreasonably. Sure, but previously, they had seen on TV that scientist guy who predicted that the plants would stop killing people at about ten AM that morning. Obviously plants would do that because… because… ummm… the Plant Union demands a break from killing every two days? I’ve got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/115 "2008-09-28T09:47:03Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Sure, but previously, they had seen on TV > > that scientist guy who predicted that the plants would stop killing people at about ten AM that morning. Obviously plants would do that because… because… ummm… the Plant Union demands a break from killing every two days? I’ve got nothing. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that scene for me was on the lower end of TEH DUMB, as I probably wouldn’t have believed any scientist at that point. They probably were aware that they had a very low chance of survival (Darwin hello!), because they had to take a break every five frigging minutes: “Honey, maybe we should move on, the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE is nearly upon us” - “No, honey, the little girl needs a break, she’s not used to this” _swing of certain DOOM creaking ominously_. ---
**Author:** ![Ronald\_C.Semone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Ronald\_C.Semone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_C.Semone)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/116 "2008-09-28T13:16:55Z")
> [@Punintentional](#): > > Hmm… the fact you applied any thought at all regarding procedural steps in the legislative process in the U.S. Congress in regards to this movie says a lot about you. (Or your arrogance). It isn’t necessary to apply any thought to it. Does anyone really think that a private citizen can introduce a bill in Congress? And do it by simply walking into the House of Representatives and dropping a copy of it in a box? And that Congress would vote on it the next day? And that a private citizen could addess Congress on the merits of the proposed legislation? And… ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/117 "2008-09-28T13:50:22Z")
**January Man** was the only movie that I paid to see where I literally went back to the box office and asked for my money back. Honest to God! Of course, they looked at me like I had a leg growing out of my head. I’m sure I’ve seen worse on free TV but after seeing that movie I felt like I had been mugged. ---
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/118 "2008-09-28T17:21:19Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > The Nic Cage “movie” **Next**. I would try to explain more, but my brain erased those memories almost as soon as the credits rolled, thank god. My brain is awesome that way–I barely remember the details of _any_ Star Wars movies. Still, **Next** is just about the dumbest movie ever made. OMG!! I totally forgot about that movie. You forgot to mention that it did star Nic Cage as well as [Nic Cage’s hair](http://www.etonline.com/photo/2007/09/31573/400_ncage_next_070924_paramounthomeent.jpg). Boy, was that movie dumb. And they even pointed that out for you at the end, when IIRC they rewound every dumb thing that had happened. Next!!! ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/119 "2008-09-28T17:32:38Z")
> [@Einmon](#): > > OMG!! I totally forgot about that movie. You forgot to mention that it did star Nic Cage as well as [Nic Cage’s hair](http://www.etonline.com/photo/2007/09/31573/400_ncage_next_070924_paramounthomeent.jpg). Boy, was that movie dumb. And they even pointed that out for you at the end, when IIRC they rewound every dumb thing that had happened. Next!!! [How to tell if you are watching a bad Nic Cage Movie](http://www.thejay.com/2007/02/09/bad-nicolas-cage-movie/) mentions: If Nic’s hair is longer than four inches, you are watching a bad Nicolas Cage movie. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142/120 "2008-09-28T17:44:24Z")
Seriously, have none of you people seen \*[Highlander II: The Quickening\*](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102034/)? This even beats _The Core_ ([Intuitor.com](http://Intuitor.com)’s #1 Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics Classic) for the most incoherent, incomprehensibly, outrageously bad film. Even the removal of the Zeist alien stuff didn’t elevate this movie to the status of tolerable, and the original cinematic cut is utter and complete shiite. Sean Connery still cries like a little girl any time someone mentions it in his presence. The [“Love Conquers All”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil_(film)#The_Sheinberg_Edit_.28Love_Conquers_All.2FTV_Edit.29) cut of Terry Gilliam’s _[Brazil](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088846/)_ is also hideously bad, and I’m a big fan of Gilliam’s European cut of the film, which just goes to show how badly you can f\*\*k up a film with ham-fisted editing. My brain just begins to melt watching the Sheinberg edit. [_Die Another Day_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246460/) is not only easily the worst film in the Bond series, it was one of the worst films to see major cinematic release in 2002. The Bond franchise has been uneven over the years, but this vastly exceeded the depravity of _Diamonds Are Forever_, _The Man With The Golden Gun_, and _The World Is Not Enough_. It would have been better suited to a comedy film starting Seann William Scott and Ashton Kutcher rather than a Bond film. Nicolas Cage movies tend toward the cerebral tapioca end of the scale unless he is very carefully directed, but while many are Bad, Very Bad, and Insultingly Bad, I don’t think any of them really qualify as Removing IQ Points Bad. They just make you question how Nic Cage got so far in the film business without using his Coppola family connections. Stranger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-so-stupid-that-they-literally-drain-off-iq-points-as-you-watch/465142.md?page=7)