[QUOTE=Quartz]
I’ve only seen the original ending of AoD. What was the S-Mart ending?
[/QUOTE]
[spoiler]As in the original version, Ash is given a potion to return to his own time, along with precise instructions for its proper use. However, in the new version, the magician character reveals that Ash must again recite the dire incantation “klaatu barada nikto.” (There’s no cave bit; Ash simply takes the potion, bids farewell to his maiden fair, and rides into the sunset.)
Flash forward to the present day. We find that Ash has indeed safely returned to his normal life, that of a sales clerk at ‘S-Mart’ (a K-Mart clone down to the blue light specials). He has just finished telling the story of his adventure to an obviously disinterested co-worker (played by Ted Raimi). Ash wistfully observes that while he could have stayed in the past, kept the girl, and perhaps even been king, he felt obligated to return to his proper place and time. (Amusingly, Ash still has the freshly healed facial scars from his quest, and also wears his Medieval Times cyber-hand to work). Ted asks blandly if Ash managed to recite the incantation properly the second time. Ash indignantly maintains that he did, mostly… maybe not every little syllable, but…
As he works, Ash is approached by a female co-worker who shyly confides that she overheard his story and thought it was cute. However, before Ash can respond, all hell breaks loose in the form of a demonically possessed customer; the implication being that Ash’s poor incanting skills allowed an Evil Dead spirit to pursue him down the centuries (or, hey, maybe it’s just a typical K-Mart customer! HA! But, I kid K-Mart).
Anyhoo, the demon knocks Ash into the shelves and then attempts to kill his new girlfriend. Ash distracts the demon’s attention using a boomstick from the sporting goods department and delivers Quotable Lines 1 and 2 in short order. A brief, frenzied melee follows in which both a shopping cart and an item of athletic equipment are used to good effect. In the end the demon is vanquished, Ash saves the day, gets the girl, and delivers Quotable Line Number 3. Fade out.
Well… trust me, it’s a lot cooler and funnier than I make it sound here. It’s a gem.[/spoiler]