# movies that fail the BS test **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 25, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473 "2001-10-25T04:09:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BuddhaDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@BuddhaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuddhaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/41 "2001-10-25T20:18:18Z")
and I will say it again. **The Matrix**. Can’t wait for the next two to come out. I especially love the end when Keanu “I am an FBI agent(!)” Reeves flies away ala Superman ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/42 "2001-10-25T20:35:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Tomb Raider for two big things … I, er, um… Well, yes, there were those, I mean there was that, um, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![FriendRob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecc23a/32.png) [@FriendRob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriendRob)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/43 "2001-10-25T20:53:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > > They told him that they **were** able to clone humans from hair and cells, but they only lived for one day before dying again. They said it a few times, as a matter of fact. That’s what they were **doing** –excavating former human habitats, looking for artifacts, and cloning humans. Thus, finding a functioning robot that knew humans was rather exciting for them. Well, that’s my point - clones don’t just live for a day. Have you ever heard of Dolly? I guess I was giving them the benefit of the doubt, assuming they were using some kind of non-cloning process that only worked for a day or something. > [@](#): > > And now that I look back at your OP on the movie, they weren’t aliens, they were super-advanced robots. That’s why they all looked identical to the logo of the company that built David, and considered David so important to their history, and had _visible circuitry_ in their freakin’ heads. > > Are you **sure** you watched the movie? \*\* OK, maybe I missed that point. Just too subtle for me, I guess. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ScriptAnalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@ScriptAnalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScriptAnalyst)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/44 "2001-10-25T21:07:24Z")
Regarding THE EXORCIST: Reagan McNeil was possessed, not the house. Moving wouldn’t have done any good, especially when you consider that the demon has traveled all the way from Iraq. Regarding A.I.: The real howler in this movie is the basic premise. Why would anybody want a robot in the shape of a ten-year-old boy that would never grow up? Why would the manufacturing company think there is any commercial market for such a thing? We’re supposed to think parents would want this as a substitute for a real child, but the robot is not even close to being a real substitute. It doesn’t grow, doesn’t mature, just remains fixed at that one point, and it’s so-called love is just a piece of programming. Absolutely stupid idea that was obviously bound to failure. Oh, and that DOUBLE JEOPARDY premise sounded really stupid to me too, when I saw the commercials. I never bothered to see it. Steve Biodrowski [http://www.thescriptanalyst.com](http://www.thescriptanalyst.com) ---
**Author:** ![Jeremy\_s\_Evil\_Twin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Jeremy\_s\_Evil\_Twin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeremy_s_Evil_Twin)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/45 "2001-10-25T21:29:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuaSponte \* > \*\*Any film based on a John Grisham book. Not it is necessarily the director’s fault - the books are so full of plot holes and irrational conduct that in many cases the films are better. The film ending of _The Firm_, for example, made a lot more sense than the book’s ending did. > \*\* Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Tom Cruise has a sit-down with the Mob, and tells them he’s putting their lawyers in jail for “mail fraud”, and that he knows all about their illegal activities, but he promises never to tell anyone because he’s a lawyer and he’s bound by his code of silence? And the Mob says OK??? Absolutely ridiculous, in real life Tom would be wearing concrete shoes after that meeting. Totally ruined for me what was otherwise a decent film. The only problem I had with the book’s ending was that it built up a TON of suspense, which wasn’t satisfactorily relieved…in the end, they just sail away. A lot of Grisham’s books have that problem, I’ve noticed. As for another howler, in **Stone Cold** , the hero (forgot his name) drops EIGHTY FEET from a helicopter through a glass ceiling onto a hard marble floor, and immediately jumps up and pummels the bad guys. Of course, that’s not the type of movie where you’re supposed to question such bendings of reality. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/46 "2001-10-25T21:31:07Z")
Um, should I have had my Sarcasm Ray on a higher setting when I made my Exorcist comment? It was supposed to be kind of a “There were supernatural things going on which precluded a natural explanation/solution” comment. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/47 "2001-10-25T21:37:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*And the movie actually gets _worse_. I swear, by the final reel, I was rootin’ for the rock… \*\* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/48 "2001-10-25T22:07:57Z")
I thought A.I. was very good. I find it difficult to say that “Science Fiction” is based on fallacious presumptions. It’s Science Fiction, for goodness’ sake; it’s all implausible. Now as for BS…the idea that I’m supposed to give a shit when Barbara Hershey dies of cancer in _Beaches_?? Or that I’m supposed to enjoy that movie at all? Now THAT’S BS. or the notion that Uma Thurman is IN ANY WAY more attractive than Janeane Garofalo in _The Truth About Cats and Dogs_…or that Loretta would even consider staying with Johnny Camareri after she meets Ronnie in _Moonstruck_. Psha. Yes, I know I’m naming all girly flix; I thought this thread needed some estrogen. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/49 "2001-10-25T23:39:10Z")
**shrew** : > [@](#): > > I find it difficult to say that “Science Fiction” is based on fallacious presumptions. It’s Science Fiction, for goodness’ sake; it’s all implausible. If you really believe that then you don’t know what science fiction is. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/50 "2001-10-26T01:14:13Z")
I’ll list some of the things that TONS of movies do, which immediately ruin them for me: - Good guy shoots, then hides behind a doorjamb. Bullets from the bad guys embed in the doorjamb, then the good guy pops out again to shoot. Nope. Bullets would pass straight through the wall. - **ianzin** already mentioned another one that drives me nuts - putting your arms over your head and ducking slightly while outrunning strafing machine gun fire. - All movie weapons have no recoil. - Outrunning the exploding fireball. Ugh. - Falling into water from a great height with no injury. (Unless the plot requires that it kills you - c.f. **Magnum Force** ). - Downed powerlines do not flop around like unattended firehoses. (c.f. **The Ice Storm** ) - You cannot hold a lighter up to one sprinkler and get the entire office building’s sprinkler system to go off. - “Gimme your badge and your gun - **you’re suspended!!!** ” - Ridiculous gambling winning streak that for some reason was totally ignored by the pit boss. - Dozens of hot women in orbit around the ugly hero. (c.f. **When Harry Met Sally** ) - “Rent control gone mad” ex: Lois Lane’s penthouse on a reporter’s salary. Why yes, my wife _does_ love going to the movies with me…😃 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/51 "2001-10-26T01:30:38Z")
**Armageddon** - We have a comet the size of a small planet headed for earth…(okay, I’m buying the premise so far), we need to blow the thing to smithereens (okay, and exactly _why_ can’t we use a nuclear guided missile again?)…no, we need to actually land on the comet and drill a big old hole in it so we can blow the comet up (well, okay), but it’s too late to teach our astronauts how to operate the heavy machinery (gosh, they can navigate themselves home from 10,000 miles away and can land the space shuttle like it’s just another airplane, but a BIG DRILL is light years beyond their scope of learning)…so America’s best hope is a bunch of drunk oil drillers who don’t know the different between a sign and a cosine??? That movie should have had a disclaimer: Please leave your common sense at the door. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/52 "2001-10-26T01:34:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fiver \* > If you really believe that then you don’t know what science fiction is. Quite possible. I understand that there is a difference between Science Fiction that follows a logical and feasible course of reason and is at least within the average person’s scope of suspension of disbelief and the Science Fiction that strays from the logical and veers onto a path of implausible. I realize that. I suppose, however, that I am more lenient in my suspenion of disbelief. Plotholes do, indeed, bother me, but not to the extent that they seem to bother you guys. I figure with Science Fiction, plotholes and BS are part of the game. My expectations are lower for it than for any other type of writing. I’m sure there’s some sort of sociological conditioning going on there, but I’ll leave that for the vultures to pick apart in the wake of my stereotyping. ---
**Author:** ![scampering\_gremlin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@scampering\_gremlin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scampering_gremlin)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/53 "2001-10-26T02:00:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shrew \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Fiver \* > > If you really believe that then you don’t know what science fiction is. > > Quite possible. > \ > I figure with Science Fiction, plotholes and BS are part of the game. My expectations are lower for it than for any other type of writing.\*\* Sigh. Quite a lot of bad films do get made in that genre. I wish I could quarrel with you there. Take my word for it that good science fiction writing does exist and that it creates internally consistent worlds based on plausible scientific hypotheses. Unfortunately a lot more junk like _Event Horizon_ gets made. Ever see that? There’s a black hole out near Neptune (yeah right) that opens a gateway to hell (puh-lease). BTW Shrew, this thread was started by a woman. If testosterone-driven films dominate the nominees, then maybe that says something good about chick flicks. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/54 "2001-10-26T02:29:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by scampering gremlin: > Take my word for it that good science fiction writing does exist and that it creates internally consistent worlds based on plausible scientific hypotheses. Of course it exists. I teach _The Giver_ and _1984_ to my high school students every year. I suppose I’ve become so used to skimming the plotlines just to get across basic comprehension that I’ve had to give up on critically analyzing plotholes. _sigh_ > [@](#): > > BTW Shrew, this thread was started by a woman. If testosterone-driven films dominate the nominees, then maybe that says something good about chick flicks. One can only hope. LOL. Or it could imply that chick flicks are lacking in creativity and do not stretch the bounds of the imagination…but we can stick with your theory if if makes us all feel better. I know it does me. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/55 "2001-10-26T02:38:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Saltire \* > \*\*_ **Tomb Raider** _ for two big things (and a lot of little ones): When Lara Croft is bouncing on her bungees and trading fire with the commandoes, no one is hit by a bullet at any point in the scene. She actually has to land and punch someone to eliminate them. Second, just after her father tells her not to go back in time to save him because she shouldn’t mess with the past, she does exactly that except that she saves the other doofus and leaves Daddy dead. \*\* Great googly moogly where to begin. 1. Everyone used those little orange glow sticks when entering caves. They were only bright enough to cast a erie glow on the user’s face. 2. Lara busts into a room in her house that she didn’t know existed, and immediately reaches for the light switch. 3. You have to have 2 pieces of that thing to control time, or whatever it was. Lara got one piece. Apparently it didn’t occur to her to just destroy the damn thing and save herself some trouble. **Also** , any movie where it seems to be the same time of day (and same weather) all over the world ( **Armageddon and Independence Day** come to mind). ---
**Author:** ![Cholo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@Cholo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cholo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/56 "2001-10-26T03:33:40Z")
“The Jackyl” Starring Bruce Willis and Richard Gere. Gere plays an ex-IRA terrorist that is sprung from prison by the FBI and used to assist them to track down Willis and his trail of toupes. Gere has the WORST irish accent to come down the pike…but it gets better. After Gere is used up by the FBI (of course they give a gun to help kill Willis) they let him go free. Not released. He’s allowed to ESCAPE from prison. Uh huh ---
**Author:** ![Spoonbender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spoonbender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoonbender)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/57 "2001-10-26T04:04:53Z")
Warning: spoilers for _The Game_ and _Arlington Road_. Here’s the B.S. that I can’t stand: The Vast Shadowy Conspiracy In Which Everyone Is Involved and Which Is Pulled Off With Godlike Precision and Foresight. Biggest offenders: _Arlington Road_ (how could the terrorists count on Jeff Bridges successfully getting into the building?) and _The Game_ (how did they know which side of the building he’d jump from?). On a related note, I hate horror movies with the Ubiquitous and Omniscient Evil Guy, who has the uncanny ability to remain hidden, always know where the good guy(s) are and always be wherever he needs to be. There are countless examples but _Scream_ comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/58 "2001-10-26T06:31:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spoonbender \* > \*\*On a related note, I hate horror movies with the Ubiquitous and Omniscient Evil Guy, who has the uncanny ability to remain hidden, always know where the good guy(s) are and always be wherever he needs to be. There are countless examples but _Scream_ comes to mind. \*\* On that note, have you noticed that the UUbiquitous and Omniscient Evil Guy’s powers fail dramatically once only one survivor is left? This applied to all the Friday the 13th and Halloween-type slasher flicks… throughout the whole movie, he kills and vanishes; no one ever opens a back door and says, “Hey, you, with the machete - what the hell do you think you’re doing?” But get down to that last person, and his luck leaves him votes leaving Gary Condit. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/59 "2001-10-26T07:26:22Z")
_The Devil’s Own_. Okay, its been a while since I saw this movie, but I remember one thing: Brad Pitt hides a bag of something in the bathroom floor. Later in the movie, Harrison Ford shows up, looking for said thing. He walks into the room, stops for a second, and proceeds to look under the bathroom floor. WTF? And the entire plot pivots on this discovery. Or, how about _Starship Troopers_. We’re battling creatures from space… okay. They are giant bugs. What? This movie also has terrible acting, not much plot, and an appearance by a psychic Doogie Houser. All over aweful. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Maximino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@Mighty\_Maximino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Maximino)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473/60 "2001-10-26T07:51:35Z")
One of my favorite BS alerts is any science fiction moment when a bunch of little laser beams join together in space and form a HUGE laser beam (think Death Star). This happens all the time, and it’s just so ridiculous it’s funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-fail-the-bs-test/89473.md?page=4)