# Movies that insult your intelligence. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 29, 2002, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499 "2002-12-29T13:38:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/241 "2003-01-06T20:16:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\ ***Silentgoldfish** , we were just ignoring you because you left off the cornstarch analogy. > > The world needs more [cutting-edge cornstarch research scientists](http://www.iftps.org/Abstract1.htm), in my opinion. \*\* LOL! HEY!! I’m reasonably intelligent, I’m just really really bad at math, and things related to math, like force field physics. ---
**Author:** ![knarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@knarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knarf)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/242 "2003-01-06T22:17:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CaptMurdock \* > \*\*Not to mention that there is no way China would sit still after Russion nukes their population down from 1 billion to 600 million. > \*\* China wasn’t sitting it out - when the 600 million Chinese were mentioned it was as being one of the countries that was on the same side as the U.S.A. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/243 "2003-01-06T23:09:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruffian \* > \*\*This just seems to me a Hollywood tradition. The audience can’t really tell it’s a dog, you see, unless it barks. The same holds true for cats–if there’s one onscreen, then the audience MUST hear a meow to confirm that ah yes, it IS a cat! And, most annoying to this equestrienne, if a horse is onscreen…it has to whinny. Has to. Horses only whinny for very particular reasons, and none of the horses I ever see…excuse me, _hear_…whinnying on screen are either separated from their herd or about to be fed. Stupid, stupid, stupid. > > The audience, that is…at least according to the dumbsh\*t producers/directors who demand such cheap effects. \*\* As a computer dude, I may as well chime in with my favorite Hollywood tradition - not having any idea how computers are used by real people.[ul] [li] **Goldeneye**. Computer expert tries to break hot girl’s codes while clicking Bond’s exploding pen in one hand. Yes, that’s right - he’s furiously trying to undo what was done to his code, time being of the essence…WITH ONE HAND.[/li][li]Speaking what you’re typing. “Is…this…a…game…or…is…it…real?” Yep. We all do that. I’m doing it right now. (I know, it’s artistic license to show the audience what he’s typing, but screw that - figure out a better way).[/li][li]Sound effect keyboard. Computer lackey types in information, every keystroke beeps and blips to simulate the high-tech amazingness of said computer. Oh yeah - I love it when I get non-stop sound feedback for every keystroke. Blip beep boop baap beep boop!![/li][li]Fastest typist in the world. Hackers in the movies apparently can type faster than any other person to ever use a keyboard. Suspicious even if they were typing actual words, but since they’re undoubtedly typing something more like this:[/li][sub] RCS file: /opt/msmac/osxoffice/PowerPointX/app/appscrap.cpp,v retrieving revision 1.9 diff -r1.9 appscrap.cpp 1572d1571 1579,1585c1578,1586 \< LPOBJECTDESCRIPTOR lpOD = (LPOBJECTDESCRIPTOR)OLELOCK( hObjDesc ); \< if ( lpOD ) \< wasDisplayAsIcon = (lpOD-\>dwDrawAspect & DVASPECT\_ICON) != 0; \< OLEUNLOCK( hObjDesc ); \< OLEFREE( hObjDesc ); [/sub] I doubt they’d be assaulting the keyboard like a stenographer. And certainly not if they were getting head from Halle Berry at the same time. Believe me, I know. :D[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/244 "2003-01-06T23:33:52Z")
You forgot that text still prints out on the screen as though it were being piped through a 300 baud modem. Sometimes more like 110. And for keyboards that make clicky sounds, I used to work in an office with dozens of creaky IBM dumb terminals. They had little piezo-electric buzzers _right in the keyboard_. When we were busy, you heard a cacaphony of beepity-beep-beeps emanating from the veal-fattening pens. It was horrible. (Still in place in 1998, too.) There was a switch concealed underneath the damned things that would turn the beeping off, but I think I was the only one in the building that used it. Maybe everyone else liked to _sound_ busy. I like it when hackers send cryptic messages to people in movies. They always come with flashy animated effects. All the _real_ hackers make a point of sneaking some huge new graphics-heavy executable in to communicate with you, instead of just opening an admin window. Or sending you email. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/245 "2003-01-07T00:48:12Z")
Ah yes, **Larry Mudd** , forgot about the ol’ “UI in the hacker program” - **Goldeneye** again - the hilarious “Send Spike” program complete with cartoonish image of the hacker’s FACE. Not too clever for secrecy purposes there. (As for the keyboards, I was talking more about the obvious Foley beep-over for keys effect, although I surely remember those awful things. The IBM spring-loaded ones were even worse, IMO…) ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/246 "2003-01-07T01:33:33Z")
Speaking of computers in movies, I always love how the computer guy can look at some data that the hero has given him, hit one key, and get a beautiful dynamic 3-D image illustrating what the data means and what calamity will befall the earth if the bad guys aren’t stopped. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/247 "2003-01-07T02:19:04Z")
Or folks looking at CCTV videotapes who casually say “Give me a 35X view”, and are able to pick out the jeweller’s mark on the back of the suspect’s pocket-watch, or some silly-ass thing. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/248 "2003-01-07T03:14:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\*Or folks looking at CCTV videotapes who casually say “Give me a 35X view”, and are able to pick out the jeweller’s mark on the back of the suspect’s pocket-watch, or some silly-ass thing. \*\* A know what you mean. A few different TV shows have done this (_MacGyver_ and _Mission: Impossible_ come to mind). They enhance some piece of video tape until until they can see the individual pixels. It’s still not detailed enough, so they work some kind of techno-magic and the picture becomes crystal clear, and you can make out the tiniest little details. Even when I was a teenager, I understood that once you reach the pixels, there ain’t no more detail to extract. That it, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/249 "2003-01-07T04:26:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diceman \* > \*\*A know what you mean. A few different TV shows have done this (_MacGyver_ and _Mission: Impossible_ come to mind). They enhance some piece of video tape until until they can see the individual pixels. It’s still not detailed enough, so they work some kind of techno-magic and the picture becomes crystal clear, and you can make out the tiniest little details. > > Even when I was a teenager, I understood that once you reach the pixels, there ain’t no more detail to extract. That it, folks. \*\* And then you’ve got _Enemy of the State_ where it’s so high tech they can rotate the image to see something out of frame. About the hacker sending weird personalised messages: if some could, they would, I bet. Ever download a crack? Usually there’s some fancy logo designed by a 12 year old plastered everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/250 "2003-01-07T04:52:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diceman \* > \*\*Even when I was a teenager, I understood that once you reach the pixels, there ain’t no more detail to extract. That’s it, folks. \*\* But _The X-Files_ explained it by having the computer expert say, “All right, I’ll just run it through my algorithm program…” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/251 "2003-01-07T08:20:38Z")
There was an old episode of _MacGyver_ or something, and they were doing the old kidnapper-calling-with-his-ransom-demands-keep-him-on-the-line-so-we-can-trace-the-call set piece. And they’ve got the computers to do the trace right there. Sure enough, the bad guy calls. They run the trace and get the phone number he’s calling from. So they run the program that will tell them where that phone actually is, but he hangs up before they can find out, and the equipment goes dead. All is lost. You idiots! You know the number he called from! It’s not like that phone is going anywhere once he hung up. They did the scene that way for tension; the sequence of steps to trace the call, almost there, almost there, click. But if you thought about it for just one second, the reasoning fell apart. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/252 "2003-01-07T08:42:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > Computer lackey types in information, every keystroke beeps and blips to simulate the high-tech amazingness of said computer. Oh yeah - I love it when I get non-stop sound feedback for every keystroke. Blip beep boop baap beep boop!! Or how about when the CPU makes a sound like a teletype, a la Star Trek? I guess in the future, they will have mechanical computer chips. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/253 "2003-01-07T20:52:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*Read the book. > > I haven’t seen the movie, but in the book, it’s all explained. Junger pieced it all together from a variety of evidence. IIRC, he never describes exactly what happens when the boat goes down because he doesn’t know. Perhaps the film dramatized that part? But they know a lot of what happened after they went out. \*\* Fair enough. My recollections of the movie (Perfect Storm) are a bit vague, but I seem to remember that the dramitization of the boat going down was the lion’s share of the movie, and I don’t remember them being in radio contact with anyone. It also seems to me the movie chronicled the travails of one man who fell overboard and floated around for awhile on his life jacket, until finally an enormous wave finished him off. Maybe he was carrying a waterproof diary with him. And could write really fast. ---
**Author:** ![dinulya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecc23a/32.png) [@dinulya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinulya)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499/254 "2003-01-12T09:07:00Z")
Oh thanks God, I’m not the only one who actually hates Moulin Rouge. I’m so sick of everybody talking how wonderful and amazing this movie is, while the it is just the utter crap. Nauseous… The lattest big disappointment - Catch Me If You Can. Apart from the opening credits… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-insult-your-intelligence/145499.md?page=12)