# Movies That Would Have Been Better With No Love Interests **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 18, 2019, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628 "2019-11-18T21:27:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/21 "2019-11-19T08:44:30Z")
_ **The Wilby Conspiracy** _. I’ve never seen this in a cinema, but I can’t imagine the gratuitous sex scene between Sidney Poitier and Persis Khambatta evoking anything but riotous laughter. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/22 "2019-11-19T08:44:32Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Poor Cary Elwes. Indeed, I think he is poor in everything. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/23 "2019-11-19T13:15:18Z")
IIRC, there was a romantic interlude between Gregory Peck and the Greek woman who turned out to be the obligatory traitor in _ **The Guns of Navarone** _, while they were hiding from the Nazis in the mountains. This made almost as much sense as James Darren bursting into song at a Greek wedding. Great way to remain inconspicuous while on a secret mission inside enemy territory. Way to go, Jim! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/24 "2019-11-19T13:15:33Z")
_Green Lantern_ as it was, it was two movies jammed together, and the seams showed. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/25 "2019-11-19T13:56:21Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > Even _Masque of the Red Death_? There wouldn’t have been enough for a feature length film without the Christian martyr/lover sub-plot. Although a dwarf burning alive a guy in a gorilla costume sure was something… Yeah, even that. I thought about listing it separately, but figured my blanket statement covered it. “Lack of running time” ought not to be the reason you leave in a romantic subplot. That “burning the guy alive in a gorilla costume” was taken from another Poe story, _Hop-Frog_ (and is, chillingly, based on a real historic incident i which a LOT of guys dressed in gorilla costumes burned to death). There’s no reason they couldn’t have added other Poe elements to the story, as well. Heck, it still bugs me that they skimped on the number of colored rooms. There are seven in Poe’s story. They only have four or so in the movie. How hard would it have been to repaint the set for a different room? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/26 "2019-11-19T14:03:40Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Indeed, I think he is poor in everything. Yes, but unlike some other poor actors, he can speak in an English accent. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/27 "2019-11-19T15:10:14Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > All of the Marx Brothers movies that have them, which IIRC is all of them except _Duck Soup_. (Am I right, **Exapno**?) Not exactly. _The Coconuts_ and _Animal Crackers_ didn’t have any romance, unless you count Groucho’s wooing of Margaret Dumont. And in _Horse Feathers_, the romance was also played for laughs, not romance. When they moved to MGM after _Duck Soup_, a love plot was required by the studio executives, and it did help at the box office. _Brute Force_ was the story of an attempted jailbreak and a revolt against a psychotic prison guard (played by Hume Cronyn(!)). There are several unnecessary flashbacks about the prisoners’ relationships with women. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/28 "2019-11-19T15:30:20Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Casino comes to mind. I thought Sharon Stone was horrible in the film. Considering that the story was based on real events, and deNiro’s, Peschi’s, and Stone’s characters were all based on real people, I think that the filmmakers can be forgiven for keeping the love interest in that one. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/29 "2019-11-19T15:35:00Z")
_Enemy at the Gates_ The sniper-on-sniper action was great. The shoehorned romantic triangle with Rachel Weisz was not. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/30 "2019-11-19T16:07:17Z")
_The Beach_. The book had it right - Françoise and Étienne are a couple, and Richard is their friend. There was no need for him to sneak around with Françoise in the movie. It did nothing but detract from the rest of the story. > [@Yllaria](#): > > The Hobbit. This x100. God, that was awful. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/31 "2019-11-19T16:08:05Z")
The recent _Aquaman_ would have been better if they had taken out the romance subplot. Or put it in, either one. Just, not the “Well, our two leads are different genders, so of course they’re going to kiss in the climactic scene, even though there’s been absolutely no development between them” that they went with. Actually, scratch that. They shouldn’t have taken out _all_ of the romance: The bits between Aquaman’s parents were good. Just not Aquaman/Maera. ---
**Author:** ![Rough\_Draft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/76d3ee/32.png) [@Rough\_Draft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rough_Draft)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/32 "2019-11-19T16:16:36Z")
Any John Ford western. This also applies to “the best John Ford western not made by John Ford”, Howard Hawks’ _Red River_. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/33 "2019-11-19T16:47:03Z")
The Man in the High Castle ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/34 "2019-11-19T17:39:18Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > I’ll go with the movie “Magnum Force”, where Dirty Harry has gratuitous sex with a young Japanese woman. I guess to show that he’s not a pansy. Why do you think they call him _Dirty_ Harry? But my votes have to be for the Affleck/Hartnett “Pearl Harbor” and “Enemy at the Gates”. \* Pearl Harbor\* would have been a big-effects summer movie centering on the bromance between Affleck and Hartnett and their involvement in Pearl Harbor and the Doolittle Raid. \* It would have been relatively forgettable, but it would have been much shorter, and much less sappy/absurd. _Enemy at the Gates_ managed to be a fine movie even with the shoehorned in romantic plot, but it didn’t really add to anything- there was no reason to have Joseph Fiennes or Rachel Weisz\*\* in the movie at all- it could have been all Jude Law and Ron Perlman and it would have been just as good, if not better. - honestly I’d have probably minimized the Pearl Harbor part, removed the romance, and made it a Doolittle Raid movie. \*\* except for the oddly erotic fully clothed sex scene. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/35 "2019-11-19T18:08:47Z")
34 posts and no one’s mentioned Top Gun? Less romantic blah blah, more jets! ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/36 "2019-11-19T18:33:22Z")
> [@Defensive\_Indifference](#): > > _Three Days of the Condor_ is a pretty good thriller that somehow manages to squander the mid-70s Robert Redford and Faye Dunaway in a needless romantic subplot. Not only was their sex scene out of the blue (“We both nearly died at the hands of spies! Let’s fuck!”) but it made two of the most beautiful humans ever look boring. Unnecessary, sure, but worth it for Dunaway the following morning: > [@](#): > > _Oh no, I’ll help. You can always depend on the ol’ spy fucker._ I originally saw the film on network television. Probably a few times, so when I finally saw the full version, that line made me burst out laughing. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/37 "2019-11-19T18:45:13Z")
> [@bump](#): > > _Pearl Harbor_ would have been a big-effects summer movie centering on the bromance between Affleck and Hartnett and their involvement in Pearl Harbor and the Doolittle Raid. \* It would have been relatively forgettable, but it would have been much shorter, and much less sappy/absurd. The same is true of the original _ **Midway** _ (1976). I always imagine Charleton Heston growling through clenched teeth “The evening before the greatest sea battle in history, my son tells me he’s in love with a Japanese girl!” :mad: ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/38 "2019-11-19T18:51:05Z")
_Bloodsport_ The plot is paper-thin, but it’s definitely not improved by the romance with the completely unnecessary reporter character. _Gangs of New York_ Cameron Diaz’s character’s only real purpose is to be a motivating factor in Amsterdam taking down Bill the Butcher, except he already had a much bigger reason from the opening scene of the movie when Bill kills his father. It’s only, like, the entire main plot of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/39 "2019-11-19T19:07:30Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > The same is true of the original _ **Midway** _ (1976). Yep. That whole thing was totally unnecessary. _Bridge on the River Kwai_ had some romantic nonsense, but damn little and didn’t detract too much. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2019, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628/40 "2019-11-19T19:08:12Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > The Hobbit. As much as I liked Peter Jackson, I feel the entire second movie was unnecessary. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-that-would-have-been-better-with-no-love-interests/843628.md?page=3)