# Movies where the protagonists are total douches **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 8, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721 "2010-03-08T14:56:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/61 "2010-03-09T09:03:45Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Are you saying it’d be funnier if the movie focused on Vince and Owen as office workers going to their jobs? Maybe you could write a movie where that shows them in their cubicles. Making work-related phone calls. And warming up their lunch in the corporate microwave. And then we could watch them go home and turn on the TV! That can be funny. Ever seen **Office Space**? ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/62 "2010-03-09T20:57:15Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Nah. They were just a bunch of kids who had all these rules for dealing with the infected that those who got infected cried about. 1. The girlfriend is potentially infected and doesn’t bother to tell anyone, thus putting everyone at risk. 2. They take over a hotel and one of the first things they do is sit around hitting gulf balls into all the windows, thus opening it up to the elements. 3. When _another_ person needs gas in the middle of the road they zoom on by. (or try to until they need something from him.) But…when _they_ need gas in the middle of the road they make it impossible for the other car to get by and start a shootout, with the other car getting run off the road and the driver/passenger dying. (Or at least this was what I thought happened - this was the point at which I left.) > [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > You left someone’s house in the middle of it (it was released direct-to-DVD)? That’s cold. But if you must know… Er…I left my husband in the basement. He said I didn’t miss much. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/63 "2010-03-09T21:30:34Z")
Is Charles Foster Kane a douche, or does he accomplish too much? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/64 "2010-03-09T21:50:11Z")
How about _Heathers_? I’ve seen that movie about three times over the years and each time I think something different: “Totally hysterical!” “Utterly despicable!” “Funny but horrifying!” I do want to smack Christian Slater every time though. What happened to him, anyway. I haven’t seen him in years. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/65 "2010-03-09T22:20:52Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > Is Charles Foster Kane a douche, or does he accomplish too much? No, total douche. Just a very successful one. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/66 "2010-03-10T00:01:58Z")
A cheap horror/slasher flick called [Dead Mary](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0892047/) had me rooting for the . . . whatever the fuck it was . . . to kill everyone within the first five minutes of the movie. All of the characters, _all_ of them, were the douchiest douches who ever douched. Frat rats and bar hags who are still stuck in college mode five or six years after graduating will not translate to much sympathy out of me when they collectively decide to awaken evil, permanently pissed-off powers who actually manage to be even douchier than the ex-students themselves. And it turned out to be a good movie, because that’s pretty much what happened to just about everyone. Torn to pieces, burned, battered, stabbed with rusty farm implements. One whiny, self-important douchebag would be burned alive and the next thing you know, another one would take a shovel to the chest while everyone else just kind of sits around and complains about how much the real world sucks, and then _they_ get whacked. That’s good sport. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/67 "2010-03-10T03:27:45Z")
> [@DJ\_Motorbike](#): > > What? Nah. > > My only experience with Harry Potter was the first movie. I didn’t read any of the books and have not seen any of the subsequent films. The only thing I remember from it was that Harry was willing to sacrifice his friend’s life in a game of chess so that he could get into some sort of AP classes. Pure douche. Not really. Ron offered to play, since he was the only one of the three who was good at wizard chess. Harry and Ron do end up acting like douchebags in the fourth book and movie. They take the Patil twins to the Yule ball because Harry needs a date and Parvati agrees to go with him if Ron will escort Padma, and then proceed to spend most of the ball ignoring their dates and moping over the girls they actually wanted to take. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/68 "2010-03-10T03:36:06Z")
_My Best Friend’s Girl_ – both leads are rather unlikeable, Dane Cook’s character moreso than Kate Hudson’s character. Even the titular Best Friend is a douchebag, as he’s willing to hire his pal to screw with his ex-girlfriend to win her back. In _Dostana_, the two male leads, Sam and Kunal, are more loveable but definately do some d-baggery. Probably their worst act is manipulating the little boy, Veer, into hating Neha so they can pursue her. Still, they lie to basically everyone and make a mess of their lives chasing after a girl. However, at the end Neha goes with her suitor who’s been honest and upfront with her, so neither of them get her. (The possibility is left open that Sam and Kunal get _each other_, though) ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/69 "2010-03-10T03:59:04Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Seven Years in Tibet (1997), Brad Pitt as Heinrich Harrer. Douchebag par excellence. Not surprising seeing as how the real Heinrich Harrer wasn’t exactly all rainbows and sunshine. > [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Wow. It only took seven posts for someone to name the first character that came to my mind. Enid doesn’t just manipulate Seymour; she viciously messes with his head. One of my favorite movies, and yet I find the protagonist despicable. Yeah, she messed with his head, but I think it was just her way of getting to know him. Enid wasn’t the kind of girl who could relate to others like a normal person, I don’t think. What’s more, she was obviously immature and most likely insecure about herself and her future. The sacrasm was a defense mechanism. I didn’t find her despicable as much as predictable and cliched. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/70 "2010-03-10T03:59:05Z")
[Roger Dodger](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299117/) (2002). Campbell Scott’s player-user character is as inevitable as he is despicable: the only sensible thing to be in the world we have. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/71 "2010-03-10T19:42:24Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > Oh, Jesus, **Darth** , I can’t believe I forgot that one. > > I can’t stand that movie because of how much Ferris totally shits all over Cameron. Oh he dumps all over _everyone_. He violates all bounds of behavior just for the hell of it, gets his buddy in trouble, tromps all over his entire family and the school staff, and we’re supposed to think this is cool? **Typo Knig** and I saw this and were sitting there thinking he was a total jerk from the beginning to the end. Hated the entire thing. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/72 "2010-03-10T20:52:57Z")
All this talk of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off reminds me of [this Cracked article](http://www.cracked.com/article/18367_6-insane-fan-theories-that-actually-make-great-movies-better/) (entry #4). ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/73 "2010-03-10T21:52:13Z")
> [@Sam\_Stone](#): > > It’s not a movie, but I was just watching an old episode of _Bewitched_, and Darren Stevens was a pretty big douche. I can’t even watch that show! He’s a total douche and she’s kinda wimpy. The only good character was Endora. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/74 "2010-03-10T22:14:27Z")
Jake Blues broke Princess Leia’s little heart! What a douche. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/75 "2010-03-10T22:17:17Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > Jake Blues broke Princess Leia’s little heart! What a douche. There was a flood! It wasn’t his fault! ---
**Author:** ![Umbriel2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/4af34b/32.png) [@Umbriel2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbriel2)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/76 "2010-03-10T23:04:02Z")
_Blade Runner_ – Decker’s an insensitive jerk… (regardless of whether you think he’s really a replicant himself) …who doesn’t give a second thought about the possible humanity of the replicants he hunts down until more-or-less redeemed in the end. He’s particularly unimpressive in fights, tending to shoot most of his opponents in the back, or panic if he doesn’t have the chance to. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/77 "2010-03-11T01:10:18Z")
_Buffalo 66’_ - and Vincent Gallo is a huge douche IRL too! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/78 "2010-03-11T01:49:07Z")
> [@Umbriel2](#): > > _Blade Runner_ – Decker’s an insensitive jerk… > > (regardless of whether you think he’s really a replicant himself) > > …who doesn’t give a second thought about the possible humanity of the replicants he hunts down until more-or-less redeemed in the end. He’s particularly unimpressive in fights, tending to shoot most of his opponents in the back, or panic if he doesn’t have the chance to. He only shoots women, too. Another entry in this thread might be _Repo Man_. Is anyone in _Repo Man_ nice? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/79 "2010-03-11T02:02:43Z")
> [@Umbriel2](#): > > _Blade Runner_ – Decker’s an insensitive jerk… > > (regardless of whether you think he’s really a replicant himself) > > …who doesn’t give a second thought about the possible humanity of the replicants he hunts down until more-or-less redeemed in the end. He’s particularly unimpressive in fights, tending to shoot most of his opponents in the back, or panic if he doesn’t have the chance to. I agree, although I think that by movie’s end Deckard’s sense of empathy is awakening. And regardless of the answer to your spoiler-protected question (nice touch, by the way), I think that’s part of the reason Roy ultimately spares Deckard’s life; to show Deckard that replicants are not only “more human than human” - the advanced models can in fact be “more _humane_ than humans.” Edit: remove “although” from my comment, I didn’t read your post carefuly enough. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721/80 "2010-03-11T02:12:15Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > He only shoots women, too. Bzzzt. Incorrect. He doesn’t get a chance to shoot Leon, but clearly would have; and he shoots to kill at Roy. . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-where-the-protagonists-are-total-douches/531721.md?page=5)