# Movies You Didn't Expect to Suck So Bad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 10, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196 "2011-03-10T17:27:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/201 "2011-05-02T21:49:34Z")
I wasn’t expecting high art, but I thought at least **Anchorman** would be somewhat funny. It wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/202 "2011-05-03T13:48:28Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > So they actually made the one with Tracy Lords? Oh, yeah, it got made. I rented it from Netflix. Not actually too bad (of course, you need to go in with low expectations), except for the perfectly awful Green Martians. Tracy does a perfectly respectable job. ---
**Author:** ![spifflog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@spifflog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spifflog)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/203 "2011-05-03T15:00:19Z")
> [@llcoolbj77](#): > > \*\*Couple’s Retreat \*\*was awful. Like, depressing awful. My husband and I were actually a little sad after watching it. Not trying to ba at all snarky, but was anyone surprised that this flick sucked? Did you think it was going to be good? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/204 "2011-05-03T15:53:37Z")
> [@spifflog](#): > > Not trying to ba at all snarky, but was anyone surprised that this flick sucked? Did you think it was going to be good? This thread isn’t “Movies that sucked”. It’s “Movies you didn’t expect to suck so bad”. So it’s possible to see a movie that you know is going to suck, but find out that it sucks much harder than you expected. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/205 "2011-05-03T17:48:25Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > Have you all forgotten about **Star Trek: The Motion Picture**? Kirk, Spock and the bald-headed chick in a 3 hour movie with a 15 minute recycled plot. You just reminded me: **Hero** (the Chinese one, not the Dustin Hoffman one which I expected to suck and did). Seriously, there’s about five minutes of actual plot in the entire movie. It was all “say three lines, show a long action sequence, say three lines, show another long action sequence, repeat until eyes bleed”. I mean, the action sequences were very pretty and the thing with the different colors was a nice touch but NOTHING HAPPENED. I swear, _Solaris_ had more going on. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/206 "2011-05-03T18:33:26Z")
We saw **Meek’s Cutoff** this past week, based on Levy’s review of it as a “B+”. Major suckage, unless you like movies where nobody really does anything except walk along the Oregon Trail. Almost zero character development, and boring dialog. Think “white people doing _Cheyenne Autumn_”. ---
**Author:** ![BomTek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bomtek/32/21364_2.png) [@BomTek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BomTek)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/207 "2011-05-03T20:38:30Z")
A few of mine have been mentioned, like Tim Burton’s _Alice In Wonderland_, although I genuinely like or even love about half of the movies that I’ve seen that have been brought up here. As for me, my main one is _Austin Powers In Goldmember_. I really enjoyed the first one (still do), and \*The Spy Who Shagged Me \*was entertaining enough but definitely lowered the bar for the series. Then \*Goldmember \*came along and raped any of the goodwill Mike Myers had left with me. I don’t find Beyonce particularly interesting or attractive to begin with, but I wanted to tie her arms to her side and set that fucking afro on fire. I think Seth Green’s character was a woman in this one, maybe? Fat Bastard and Mini-Me were only funny briefly, but that was all used up well before the end of _TSWSM_, and the character of Goldmember may be one of the most disgusting characters ever created. I’ve sat through some shitty movies, but I didn’t finish this one. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/208 "2011-05-03T22:14:27Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > We saw **Meek’s Cutoff** this past week, based on Levy’s review of it as a “B+”. Major suckage, unless you like movies where nobody really does anything except walk along the Oregon Trail. Almost zero character development, and boring dialog. Does anyone die of dysentery? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/209 "2011-05-03T22:43:34Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > I wasn’t expecting high art, but I thought at least **Anchorman** would be somewhat funny. > > It wasn’t. Generally, I find Will Ferrell to be about as funny as stubbing your big toe on an ottoman on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but after repeated watching, I find that Anchorman has a certain charm to it. Something clicked for me after the 2nd time I saw it… ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/210 "2011-05-03T22:55:42Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Does anyone die of dysentery? > > 😃 That would have equated to comic relief in this flick. Honest to Og: when the film ended (it ends very abruptly, with no plot resolution whatsoever), people in the audience said things out loud like “what the fuck?”, and “did they run out of money?” It was the best part of the show, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/211 "2011-05-04T01:43:07Z")
I have to go with the first three that I can remember, and that I desperately wanted to see: and, I could not get through the first 30 minutes of, because they were so accursedly boring: 1. Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Saving Private Ryan 3. Robin Hood (Russell Crowe). Now, I also didn’t expect Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood to suck so marvelously, but, it did! Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![genXmalcontent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8baadc/32.png) [@genXmalcontent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/genXmalcontent)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/212 "2011-05-04T04:11:34Z")
Just 20 of the movies I was amazed sucked as bad as they did. Some acclaimed, some not so much. All surpassed my expectations of suckitude. 1 - Forrest Gump 2 - Avatar 3 - Hostel 4 - Shrek 5 - American Beauty 6 - Independence Day 7 - (should have know better after #6) The 90’s Godzilla 8 - Kill Bill (both) 9 - Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton) 10 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factor (which I can’t even finish it’s so bad) 11- The Hangover 12 - Starship Troopers 13 - Piranha 14 - The second Austin Powers Flick 15 - Saving Private Ryan 16 - Schindler’s List 17 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Crystal Skull is too easy) 18 - Kilmer’s and Brando’s Island of Dr. Moreau 19 - Jackson’s King Kong 20 - The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/213 "2011-05-04T04:23:07Z")
A few come to mind all already mentioned - _The Phantom Menace_ and _The Crystal Skull_ (or whatever the hell it was called - Indy IV anyway) were both sad disappointments whcih actually managed to devalue their predecessors. The second Matrix has to be the winner for me - it sucked so much that I still haven’t bothered to watch the third one. (and in a bizarre coincidence my Mum just sent a text saying “May the 4th be with you” right as I clicked post). ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/214 "2011-05-04T05:33:38Z")
> [@lisiate](#): > > The second Matrix has to be the winner for me - it sucked so much that I still haven’t bothered to watch the third one. Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![ZYPeng](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/9f8e36/32.png) [@ZYPeng](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZYPeng)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/215 "2011-05-04T05:45:02Z")
I might be about to get myself in trouble, but we’ve had Cat on a Hot Tin Roof from Netflix for ages and I finally bugged the [NY Asian Escort](http://www.nyasiangirlescort.com) boyfriend into seeing it… god, it was AWFUL. Blah [NY Asian Escorts](http://www.nyasiangirlescort.com) blah blah [Asian Escort NY](http://www.nyasiangirlescort.com) blah blah from all these people [Asian Escorts NY](http://www.nyasiangirlescort.com) we didn’t give a rat’s ass about who had to explain everything all the time to each other… there was just nothing at all good about it except maybe Burl Ives and some of the fluff at the margins. Really a disappointment. We couldn’t figure out why on earth people like it. (Oh, and bad accents while we’re at it.) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/216 "2011-05-04T11:39:02Z")
You are very fortunate not to have seen the 3rd _Matrix_ movie, which makes the 2nd look brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/217 "2011-05-04T12:54:38Z")
My go-to in these threads is **Bram Stoker’s Dracula**. Oh boy, I thought, great source material, a renowned director (Coppola), and Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing. This is gonna be _great!_ Well, instead of brooding horror, I got a half-assed quick-cut action movie with a stupid love interest back-story for the monster and Anthony Hopkins screaming and jumping around like a spider monkey on crank. Meanwhile Keanu Reaves and Winona Ryder inflicted on the audience two of the worst fake accents in cinematic history. What an awful wreck of a movie. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/218 "2011-05-04T12:59:10Z")
“Valentine’s Day” – lots of big names, but the script was just a retread of every other formulaic romantic comedy. “Hangover” - just stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/219 "2011-05-04T14:56:36Z")
> [@genXmalcontent](#): > > Just 20 of the movies I was amazed sucked as bad as they did. Some acclaimed, some not so much. All surpassed my expectations of suckitude. > 1 - Forrest Gump > 2 - Avatar > 3 - Hostel > 4 - Shrek > 5 - American Beauty > 6 - Independence Day > 7 - (should have know better after #6) The 90’s Godzilla > 8 - Kill Bill (both) > 9 - Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton) > 10 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factor (which I can’t even finish it’s so bad) > 11- The Hangover > 12 - Starship Troopers > 13 - Piranha > 14 - The second Austin Powers Flick > 15 - Saving Private Ryan > 16 - Schindler’s List > 17 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Crystal Skull is too easy) > 18 - Kilmer’s and Brando’s Island of Dr. Moreau > 19 - Jackson’s King Kong > 20 - The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Wow, tough room. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/220 "2011-05-04T15:03:39Z")
> [@jordanr2](#): > > Probably not fair to count this one, since I was unable to finish watching it, but _Inception_. Among the most lackluster and tiresome films I’ve encountered - I started it from the beginning two or three times, each time feeling I was missing something crucial that everyone else saw in it, but ultimately I just felt like I was punishing myself for something by continuing to try to get through it. I may give it a shot again someday. Amen. Just watched this one last week. Academy awards. Word of mouth. Good % on Rotten Tomatoes… It didn’t SUCK…it just wasn’t very good. However, I also watched Inglorious Basterds last week as well…I didn’t expect to like it but actually kept me amused for the whole movie. Better than I expected. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=12)