# Movies You Didn't Expect to Suck So Bad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 10, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196 "2011-03-10T17:27:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![theR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@theR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theR)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/221 "2011-05-04T15:12:38Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > Kind of amusing; I looked up the child actors and the one who played Sharkboy is now one of the leads (Jacob) in the **Twilight** saga. > > And I’m going to have to defend **Requiem for a Dream**. The only problem I have with it is the whole Sara in the hospital scene. The doctor having her sign the electroshock consent form, when she clearly isn’t making, or capable of making, an informed consent is not only unethical, but probably illegal. Also, from what I’ve heard, electroshock therapy is way different than what the movie was showing. Or rather, the way it was portrayed was they way it was done 50 years ago or so. And as for bad things happening to everybody, well, yeah, bad things can and do happen to heroin users. Maybe some of the people criticizing don’t have the context of the book. It’s written from the perspective of drug addicts. So much so that there are no quotations to show the difference between thoughts and spoken words (though it’s amazingly simple for the human mind to figure out which is which after a brief adjustment). The writer was addicted to painkillers and heroin for decades, so the point of view makes sense in that respect. It was published in 1978 and the author grew up in a time where ECT was probably closer to the public perception, so that’s also not surprising. Regardless, I don’t think it’s supposed to represent a literal medical view, but rather the expectation of addicts that got sent to treatment back then. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/222 "2011-05-04T15:41:29Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > You are very fortunate not to have seen the 3rd _Matrix_ movie, which makes the 2nd look brilliant. I thought that we’d agreed that you would no longer mention that movie, and I in return would not have an anger stroke. I had no intention of seeing Matrix III when it came out but got dragged to it on opening night by a friend. The showing was sold out so I was going to go home, but a couple of young girls (college age) approached us and just gave us their tickets; they were apparently such rabid fans they had apparently bought tickets for multiple showings, but upon seeing it once no longer cared enough even to try to make money off their tickets. That should have been a warning. Anyway, my companion made me promise not to mock the movie until half an hour after we’d seen it, but as we left the theater afterwards turned to me and said, “You know what? That promise was unreasonable. Go ahead and mock.” ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/223 "2011-05-04T16:43:50Z")
POTC2 Deadman’s Chest- I loved the first one A LOT. I think I saw this opening weekend…I was restless and bored. It was too long and I was wondering if the screenwriters had purposefully turned Sparrow into the villain and made all of the other characters unlikable. The scene at the end when they are all mourning Sparrow… I kept thinking “You’re sad because the guy who has been manipulating AND actively trying to kill you through all this got eaten by the sea monster that was only ever after him? Okay, idiots.” Although the Barbarossa twist at the end was good. And I will say… I actually really liked the third one. In the I knew it was going to be bad… but MY GOD IT SUCKED! Alien vs. Predator: Requiem- it was like just terrible… I thought it might be so bad it’s good… Nope… Terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/224 "2011-05-04T16:57:15Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > I have to go with the first three that I can remember, and that I desperately wanted to see: and, I could not get through the first 30 minutes of, because they were so accursedly boring: > > 1. Pirates of the Caribbean > 2. Saving Private Ryan > 3. Robin Hood (Russell Crowe). Now, I also didn’t expect Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood to suck so marvelously, but, it did! > > Best wishes, > hh You stopped watching _Saving Private Ryan_ because you hated the beginning? Then you definitely made the right choice. Because a lot of people (including myself) thought the beginning was the only good part of the movie and it dropped sharply in quality after that. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/225 "2011-05-04T19:43:45Z")
I knew that breaking up “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” into two movies was going to cause problems, but I was ill prepared for the dark, plodding, ungodly mess that was Part 1. The cast knows the characters pretty well, I think. Kloves can write a decent screenplay. Yates did a good job with OotP. And I thought the book was the most competently written of the series, at least until near the end. How did it go so wrong? ---
**Author:** ![tingbudong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tingbudong/32/520_2.png) [@tingbudong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tingbudong)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/226 "2011-05-04T20:06:41Z")
> [@Astroboy14](#): > > Generally, I find Will Ferrell to be about as funny as stubbing your big toe on an ottoman on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but after repeated watching, I find that Anchorman has a certain charm to it. Something clicked for me after the 2nd time I saw it… Will Ferrell is appropriate in supporting and minor roles. His man-child routine is tiring and was used to headline far, far too many of his films. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/227 "2011-05-05T02:08:25Z")
> [@theR](#): > > Maybe some of the people criticizing don’t have the context of the book. It’s written from the perspective of drug addicts. So much so that there are no quotations to show the difference between thoughts and spoken words (though it’s amazingly simple for the human mind to figure out which is which after a brief adjustment). The writer was addicted to painkillers and heroin for decades, so the point of view makes sense in that respect. It was published in 1978 and the author grew up in a time where ECT was probably closer to the public perception, so that’s also not surprising. Regardless, I don’t think it’s supposed to represent a literal medical view, but rather the expectation of addicts that got sent to treatment back then. I admit that I didn’t read the book and I didn’t realize it came out about 20 years before the movie. That’s kind of interesting. ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/228 "2011-05-05T02:27:30Z")
_Black Swan._ I wanted it to be good, so I kept giving it the benefit of the doubt while the friend I saw it with was giggling and rolling her eyes at its stupidity. I finally gave up and conceded that she was right, because it just got more and more ridiculous. Oh, what a bad movie. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/229 "2011-05-05T02:41:57Z")
Most recent one I didn’t much care for: “Hobo With a Shotgun.” It didn’t suck bad – it was kind of awesome, actually, but I wouldn’t watch it again. I’ve seen “Machete” a number of times and “Death Proof” like twenty times, so it’s not the recent faux-ploitation genre. This one was just not all that good. “Hostel” – not sure what I was expecting, but it sucked hard. I can’t say “The Wrestler” or “Black Swan” sucked hard, but I didn’t expect either to suck as bad as they did, though. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/230 "2011-05-05T03:36:04Z")
**Knocked Up** I don’t know what I was thinking, seeing this one, as I am of the opinion that (with some exceptions) American comedic movies have sucked sucked sucked since the release of **There’s Something About Mary** (which sucked), but I was in the mood for some lolz so I bought a ticket. And walked out before she had the baby. And honestly, it was because of all the random swearing. I’m not above swearing, even in front of my kid, but bloody hell, these people cursed as if they were being paid by the word. I finally had enough when the fat guy started screaming and cussing the OB-GYN because the blonde chick was going in labor. OK, this guy is going to deliver your baby and you’re acting like a 16 year-old being grounded for two weeks 'cause your mom found your stash… why? Ugh. Someday the country will move away from Judd Apatow/Farrely Brothers-esque comedy and we’ll be the better nation for it. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/231 "2011-05-05T05:10:29Z")
**Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle.** It wasn’t a critical darling by any stretch, but **Angels 1** (with the same basic cast and director) was at least watchable. This was just drivel on every level. ---
**Author:** ![DZedNConfused](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dzednconfused/32/15991_2.png) [@DZedNConfused](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DZedNConfused)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/232 "2011-05-07T01:44:29Z")
Well, I didn’t expect **Hancock** to knock with off my feet with awesome, I really couldn’t believe when halfway through it became a condemnation of interracial relationships and had Charlize Theron overemoting on screen. The Dark Knight damn near put me to sleep as well. I kept thinking “END already!” ---
**Author:** ![DefyingGravity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@DefyingGravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DefyingGravity)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/233 "2011-05-07T04:29:28Z")
Pulp Fiction. Before you scream in horror at me, let it be known that I went to see it with my MOTHER (I was 28, she was 56). All I knew was that it was new and good, didn’t read much about it. Mistake. When they brought out the gimp I prayed for a sudden lightning bolt to hit my seat. She did not enjoy it. Nor did I. PTSD treatment. augh. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/234 "2011-05-12T15:21:26Z")
Wife went to bed early last night, so I thought I’d finally give the latest remake of Robin Hood a try. The movie is a study in how to totally fuck up a charming tale by miscasting, bad writing, and poor direction. First, put a skank in the role of Maid Marian, then cast a mumbling moron as Robin, then add a supporting cast that is completely unlikeable, and finally rewrite the story so it bears little resemblance to the original. Of these, the last is the least egregious, as who in their right mind would otherwise think that this movie needed to be remade yet again? It makes the Costner version look like Oscar material. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/235 "2011-05-12T15:27:04Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Wife went to bed early last night, so I thought I’d finally give the latest remake of Robin Hood a try. The movie is a study in how to totally fuck up a charming tale by miscasting, bad writing, and poor direction. First, put a skank in the role of Maid Marian, then cast a mumbling moron as Robin, then add a supporting cast that is completely unlikeable, and finally rewrite the story so it bears little resemblance to the original. Of these, the last is the least egregious, as who in their right mind would otherwise think that this movie needed to be remade yet again? It makes the Costner version look like Oscar material. I would like to subscribe to your movie review newsletter. I agree pretty much 100%. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/236 "2011-05-12T15:59:36Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I would like to subscribe to your movie review newsletter. I agree pretty much 100%. Did I mention that I gave up after a half hour of heroic struggle? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/237 "2011-05-12T16:10:44Z")
It didn’t get any better. ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/238 "2011-05-12T19:18:00Z")
> [@astro](#): > > “Signs” with Mel Gibson was a disappointment. > > In thinking about it a lot of Will Smith’s work leaves me underwhelmed. He’s in a lot of one of my favorite genres of action sci-fi, but other than Independence Day I can’t really think of a role he was all that great in. I can’t describe it well but it seems like the whole movie is often very much crafted around him, rather than him filling in the edges of the story. Woah woah. Woah. I have to show a little love for Will Smith and say first off that I love Wild Wild West. I die of laughter every time because I think the combination of Will Smith and Kevin Kline is just awesome. I also think of Will Smith drumming on that lady’s boobies every time I see boobies worth drumming on. Second…What about Pursuit of Happiness? He was so great in that movie! I thought he deserved an Oscar nod. The scene with his son when he is hiding in the bathroom of the subway and crying silently. UGH! Puddle. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/239 "2011-05-12T19:21:19Z")
_Sunshine_ - I was expecting _Apollo 13_ in the future - instead I got _Friday the 13th_ in Spaaaace. ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/240 "2011-05-12T19:58:56Z")
Again…woah woah. Woah. I’m not understanding the hate for Return of the King, Atonement, and Schindler’s List. I just love everything about Atonement. The look, the sound, the acting, etc…What didn’t you like about it **GuanoLad**? But I do have to agree with There Will Be Blood. I was really struggling to get through that movie. I love me some Daniel Day Lewis but even he couldn’t give that character an arc I could believe in and then that last scene. I just started saying “What the fuck? What the FUCK?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=13)