# Movies You Didn't Expect to Suck So Bad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 10, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196 "2011-03-10T17:27:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/321 "2011-05-27T14:17:13Z")
Jeez, guys, way to fuck up a thread. Get a room, preferably in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Economist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c89c15/32.png) [@Evil\_Economist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Economist)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/322 "2011-05-27T18:07:45Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Here’s the thesis: if you don’t like what someone else has written about a film, that’s your fault, your failure, not the author’s. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/323 "2011-05-27T18:16:23Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > “The Departed.” Oscar for Best Picture? Really? Cause to me it was, well, kinda … boring. And uninspired. A routine cop melodrama. Law & Order turns out better episodes routinely. I only watched it because of “No Country For Old Men.” It had won Best Picture and I thought it sounded dull and stupid (serial killer themes generally are stupid and boring, IMHO) so I didn’t watch it, but then it was on cable one day and I thought I’d sample it, and damn, that opening scene where the hunter finds the aftermath of the drug trade shootout … damn … so bleak and barren and yet somehow beautiful … turned out to be a great movie, apart from the invulnerable psycho killer (yawn). So I tried out “The Departed” since it was another Best Picture winner that sounded kinda dull. And it was! It was like 'You’re not really a cop!" “I am so a cop!” You’ll be a secret cop and we’ll disavow everything we know just on general principles!" “Hey the bad scary bad guy is insane! He might kill me!” “Suck it up, kid!” and I’m all … ‘Bwuh … wha? did something happen? guess not. Back to sleep.’ I cannot remember anything about this movie although I did watch it. Forgettable = bad movie. I was not expecting _Blindness_ to suck so much, given the premise. But suck it certainly did. ---
**Author:** ![Scoobysnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Scoobysnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoobysnax)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/324 "2011-05-27T18:26:41Z")
Magnolia. It started off great with the suicide jumper getting shot on the way down. Went downhill quickly from there. The scenes with Tom Cruise were painful to watch. I don’t know how I made it to the end to see the frogs falling from the sky WTF? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/325 "2011-05-27T22:49:58Z")
> [@Scoobysnax](#): > > Magnolia. > > It started off great with the suicide jumper getting shot on the way down. Went downhill quickly from there. > > The scenes with Tom Cruise were painful to watch. I don’t know how I made it to the end to see > > the frogs falling from the sky > > WTF? This film suffered from director-wanking. The story was not nearly good enough to sustain it for 3 hours, but he did so because he could not bear to part with a single precious frame. ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/326 "2011-06-29T20:11:17Z")
clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clapclapclapclapclapclap Slow Clap. ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/327 "2011-06-29T20:12:53Z")
clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clapclapclapclapclapclap Slow Clap for **Miller** ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/328 "2011-06-29T21:17:48Z")
I haven’t seen _Slow Clap for Miller_. Is it a related to _Miller’s Crossing_? ---
**Author:** ![DZedNConfused](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dzednconfused/32/15991_2.png) [@DZedNConfused](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DZedNConfused)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/329 "2011-06-29T23:38:15Z")
> [@Mister\_Cheech](#): > > Here’s the thesis: if you don’t like a movie, that’s your fault, your failure, not the filmmakers’. Err no, just no. Unless I AM the film maker:p ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/330 "2011-06-29T23:52:17Z")
> [@Mister\_Cheech](#): > > Correct. Try to sit through Tarkovsky’s “The Mirror,” Bergman’s “Cries and Whispers,” Cassavetes’ “A Woman Under the Influence” and Godard’s “Detective” and then try to tell me that you disagree. I was entertained by the last 3, and haven’t seen the first one. Of the movies you listed that no one likes but you, the ones I’ve seen I thought were crap, because they didn’t entertain me. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/331 "2011-11-09T17:40:42Z")
> [@Scoobysnax](#): > > Magnolia. > > It started off great with the suicide jumper getting shot on the way down. Went downhill quickly from there. > > The scenes with Tom Cruise were painful to watch. I don’t know how I made it to the end to see > > the frogs falling from the sky > > WTF? > [@vivalostwages](#): > > This film suffered from director-wanking. The story was not nearly good enough to sustain it for 3 hours, but he did so because he could not bear to part with a single precious frame. I must say I loved this film - it’s in my personal top five. For me an intertwined story line is stimulating, and performances from [Julianne Moore](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000194/) (especially the scene in the chemist’s - I don’t remember seeing an actress perform better) and [Melora Walters](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001828/), [William H. Macy](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000513/), [John C. Reilly](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000604/) and [Philip Seymour Hoffman](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000450/) throughout are spellbinding and utterly believable. It was the first time my attention had been so strongly brought to many of the actors so it was a delicious surprise to see so much ‘new’ talent at once. Their stories are all vibrant and touching, without a need for graphic violence or nudity to put across the baseline emotions of each character’s turbulent life when they’ve been abused, on drugs, in pain, clueless, struggling through life, trying to find their way only to be confronted with unexpected events. Their problems and history are massively varied but linked at the same time through the emotions they all are struggling to come to terms with. The biggest impact for me is near the end of the film when the song [Aimee Mann’s ‘Wise Up’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC96_vph-oI) strangely links all of their individual plights and their chosen isolation into becoming a collective thought that we are together in being alone. I first watched it in the early nineties on a dvd from Blockbuster, and bought it a few days later. I have watched it each year (on no particular date) as a refresher that sometimes you just have to move on (or more obtusely ‘Get Over It’), regardless of how deeply a situation has affected you. I thought the other allegory, the frogs, meant ‘Shit Happens’. OTOH (and back to the OP) I didn’t get LOTR at all; I was terribly bored throughout the first one - taking a couple long breaks in the cinema - and don’t recall seeing the other two. Oh well. To each his own. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/332 "2011-11-09T17:59:49Z")
I really didn’t like The Invention of Lying. I had a friend who saw it and really liked it so I figured it would be pretty good, but I walked away disliking it more than any other movie I’ve seen in recent memory. The alleged premise is that in a world where nobody has ever lied before, one person learns how to do it. This sounds like it could be interesting, but the movie applies it so inconsistently and awkwardly (usually for the sake of “humor”) that it’s just a mess. (As an example of the “humor”, apparently the term “nursing home” is considered a lie, because in this movie’s world it’s called “The Sad Place for Old People Waiting to Die” or some such. Har-de-har.) To top it all off, the movie decides half way through to stop looking at its premise (such as it is) and turns into a really heavy-handed parody of religion (which never existed in this world, because all religion is a lie. Get it?) The whole thing was just poorly done and left a bad taste in my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/333 "2011-11-10T23:22:39Z")
“The Departed” stuck out for me because 2/3 of the dialogue was some variant of “fuck”. It got tiring after a while. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/334 "2011-11-10T23:37:17Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > The Will Smith/Kenneth Branagh/Kevin Kline _Wild Wild West_ was an astonishing pile of suck. Agreed. I was sooo disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![Lusus\_Naturae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Lusus\_Naturae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lusus_Naturae)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/335 "2011-11-11T00:36:41Z")
What better way to start posting here again than to hop into a recently-ressurected zombie thread? I come to mention Lost in Space. My friend and I went in with low expcetations, we figured it would be a simple bit of mindless entertainment, which is what we both needed after a day of technical work. We even quietly brought some…enhanced beverage to increase the amusement levels. :eek: BAD. Unfathomably bad. The one redeeming feature left us feeling distinctly unclean (a jailbait-aged Lacey Chaubert (sp?) in tight vinyl. Whatver costume department thought that was appropriate should be looked at with some degree of nervousness). I will not lie, I didn’t see a movie in a theatre for 10 years (did watch a fair number of DVDs though), until Tron: Legacy, which again I went into with low expectations, but this time was somewhat pleasantly surprised. ---
**Author:** ![Cara\_mel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/22d042/32.png) [@Cara\_mel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cara_mel)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/336 "2011-11-11T01:33:48Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > But _WALL-E_ \*was charming, and worth watching just for the part before he left Earth. It kind of felt like another movie after that, but not a bad movie. A bit of a gear shift between Wall-E’s world and the work of the ppl on the ship. I rank it near the top of Pixar movies. > > Opinions vary. Agree with you here about **WALL-E** - I loved the last-man-on-Earth feel of the first half. What charmed me was Eve - her eyes and cute expressions. I’m a sucker for that stuff (I’m a brony, too). WALL-E himself, on the other hand, was a bit too Woody Allen-ish for my liking. > [@glowacks](#): > > The faux-documentary part does not last the entire movie; the movie changes in tone in the middle into something completely different. You could easily have not liked the shift, but it sounds like you didn’t even give the movie a real chance. Yep, I was just about to walk out of **District 9** , but it would have been awkward with the people I was with. But after the “shift” I was engrossed. Turns out to be one of my favourite movies. I guess that’s the opposite of what the OP was asking. I thought **Cloverfield** was gonna be great, but it sucked! ---
**Author:** ![Cara\_mel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/22d042/32.png) [@Cara\_mel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cara_mel)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/337 "2011-11-11T01:45:15Z")
oops, didn’t notice it was a zombie thread. I hope all these people I quoted are still alive. ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/338 "2011-11-11T15:34:28Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Always expect magic, **Mister Cheech** , in every thing you do. It’s the only way to get through this life. That is truly beautiful and I agree completely. I go to movies to see magic whether it is a drama, comedy, fantasy, or action movie. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/339 "2011-11-11T16:23:16Z")
> [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](#): > > I really didn’t like The Invention of Lying. I had a friend who saw it and really liked it so I figured it would be pretty good, but I walked away disliking it more than any other movie I’ve seen in recent memory. > > The alleged premise is that in a world where nobody has ever lied before, one person learns how to do it. This sounds like it could be interesting, but the movie applies it so inconsistently and awkwardly (usually for the sake of “humor”) that it’s just a mess. (As an example of the “humor”, apparently the term “nursing home” is considered a lie, because in this movie’s world it’s called “The Sad Place for Old People Waiting to Die” or some such. Har-de-har.) To top it all off, the movie decides half way through to stop looking at its premise (such as it is) and turns into a really heavy-handed parody of religion (which never existed in this world, because all religion is a lie. Get it?) > > The whole thing was just poorly done and left a bad taste in my mouth. I liked it okay. You may know that Ricky Gervais is an atheist and I gather this was a pet project of his to say, “Do you believers understand what this stuff looks like to atheists? You’re just lying to yourselves every day. Stop doing that!” The scene where he reassures his dying mother was really moving. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/340 "2011-11-11T17:22:51Z")
> [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](#): > > I really didn’t like The Invention of Lying. I had a friend who saw it and really liked it so I figured it would be pretty good, but I walked away disliking it more than any other movie I’ve seen in recent memory. I didn’t hate it but the initial humor of people saying they hate each other was only good for so long and the plot really wasn’t interesting enough to sustain it. Ha ha… he wrote his rules on pizza boxes and is wearing a robe. I get humor! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=18)