# Movies You Didn't Expect to Suck So Bad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 10, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196 "2011-03-10T17:27:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/341 "2011-11-11T17:35:17Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > I liked it okay. You may know that Ricky Gervais is an atheist and I gather this was a pet project of his to say, “Do you believers understand what this stuff looks like to atheists? You’re just lying to yourselves every day. Stop doing that!” > > The scene where he reassures his dying mother was really moving. What I found most annoying about the movie is that, not only couldn’t people lie, they couldn’t shut up either. There was no unflattering thought left unexpressed. whether asked for or not, as if keeping your opinions to yourself is in itself a lie. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/342 "2011-11-11T17:51:34Z")
Yes! As if the world were populated by seven-year-olds. :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/343 "2011-11-11T18:41:08Z")
The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle was lame. Perhaps I set my hopes too high but it lacked the cleverness of the original show. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/344 "2011-11-11T18:58:40Z")
Re: Meek’s Cutoff I admired this movie more for what it tried to present then for its inherent entertainment value. I’m assuming the filmmakers were trying to depict such a journey as realistically as possible and in that they succeeded: we see nothing but dullness, hardship and uncertainty. It was actually refreshing to see a western that doesn’t pretty things up. I’m glad I saw it and would recommend it with reservations but probably won’t watch it again. ---
**Author:** ![Trick\_Rider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Trick\_Rider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trick_Rider)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/345 "2011-11-11T22:04:20Z")
**Nosferatu.** I liked **The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari** and **Metropolis** , so it’s not that I have a problem with German Expressionism. I also like the idea of shooting an Expressionist film on location instead of an elaborate set. Unfortunately, someone must have forgotten to tell Murnau that Max Schreck’s performance couldn’t be the only good part. It’s a very slow, fairly poorly acted film. **The Mothman Prophecies.** I wasn’t expecting something great the way I was with **Nosferatu** , but I was expecting something decent. Instead, I got a film that was apparently taught “show, don’t tell” about halfway through production. Almost everything after Richard Gere’s character’s hallucination could have been a very good horror movie, but that was the only thing keeping me from turning it right off. ---
**Author:** ![MakeSweetPassionateSenseToMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@MakeSweetPassionateSenseToMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MakeSweetPassionateSenseToMe)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/346 "2011-11-12T06:49:07Z")
Seconding **Repo: The Genetic Opera** and **Boondock Saints 2** , had insanely high hopes for both, the former belonging to the rave reviews given to it by friends, and the latter because of my spending years defending Troy Duffy to have that redundant, recycled clusterfuck of a film as my reward. Adding **Paranormal Activity**. Granted I was a bit skeptical, as I always am when an advertising campaign focuses on SHOWING me that a nightvision audience finds it scary at parts, but I was not expecting to so thoroughly loathe both characters with such severity that I kept looking forward to the inevitable badness that was supposed to be so frightening. Also, and I can’t say this with enough disdain, fucking **Disturbia** , the only film in the last decade that I have willfully walked out of, seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/347 "2011-11-14T15:12:37Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > I liked it okay. You may know that Ricky Gervais is an atheist and I gather this was a pet project of his to say, “Do you believers understand what this stuff looks like to atheists? You’re just lying to yourselves every day. Stop doing that!” That doesn’t make the movie any less bad. It rather reminds me of the His Dark Materials books getting progressively worse as Philip Pullman decided he was the atheist C.S. Lewis. > [@](#): > > The scene where he reassures his dying mother was really moving. That was probably the best scene in the movie. I guess a lot of my problem with the movie was that, even before the religion-is-a-lie plot to took over, it couldn’t make up its mind about what its premise meant. It seems, most of the time, that “nobody lies” simply means that when anyone speaks (or thinks, or writes, or whatever) they say what is true to the best of their knowledge, but then you get scenes like the “Sad Place for Old People Waiting to Die” (because apparently a place people live while receiving nursing care can’t honestly be called a “nursing home”) or the love interest opening the door and blurting out “I was just masturbating and now I’m mad I won’t get to finish” just seem to redefine the premise in an effort to get cheap laughs. Like **Boyo Jim** said, lying apparently includes not vocalizing every thought that echoes through your head. Add to that the fact that people automatically believe everything said by the man who lies, and you just get a whole heap of fridge logic. Has nobody ever been insane, delusional, intoxicated or just plain mistaken in this world? Earlier in the movie, somebody said something incorrect and instead of being taken at face value is corrected (“You called him an overweight homosexual.” “No, I called him a fat fag.”) so people clearly have some concept that not everything somebody says is correct. Yet but that gets thrown out the window to make the plot work. There’s just so little internal logic, it’s just baffling if you stop to think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/348 "2011-11-14T15:21:16Z")
Seconding **Paranormal Activity** I am the world’s biggest wuss when it comes to all things scary so when my then boyfriend suggested that we watch it I was apprehensive to say the least. But I kept waiting for the scary part to happen. The one and only time I was scared in that entire movie wasn’t even in the actual movie, it was in the director’s cut. The last \*five seconds \*of it were scary. I don’t get it. If they couldn’t scare me, then who the hell did they scare? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/349 "2011-11-19T20:37:21Z")
Atonement. What a crock, it starts off with a series of unbelievable events, and then the last part follows a story that the narrator at the end tells us none of which happened. So what was the point of the story in the first place ? I don’t blame the director, the direction is incredible, look for the elegy of Dunkirk on Youtube, its superb, and shots throughout the film are literally works of art, but the none story presumably as written by the original author McEwan is an insult to anyone over the age of six’s intelligence. I’m surprised that at the end of the story he didn’t write Nah Nih Nah Ne Nah Na ! You just wasted "n"amount of your life following this story, and I tricked you into doing it. No doubt the writers of Lost were his best mates, and the bloke who wrote the infamous Dallas "It was all a dream " was his inspiration. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/350 "2011-11-20T00:43:39Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > Atonement. > > What a crock, it starts off with a series of unbelievable events, and then the last part follows a story that the narrator at the end tells us none of which happened. > > So what was the point of the story in the first place ? > > I don’t blame the director, the direction is incredible, look for the elegy of Dunkirk on Youtube, its superb, and shots throughout the film are literally works of art, but the none story presumably as written by the original author McEwan is an insult to anyone over the age of six’s intelligence. > > I’m surprised that at the end of the story he didn’t write Nah Nih Nah Ne Nah Na ! > > You just wasted "n"amount of your life following this story, and I tricked you into doing it. > > No doubt the writers of Lost were his best mates, and the bloke who wrote the infamous Dallas "It was all a dream " was his inspiration. I agree. I hated everyone in it so much that within the first ten minutes, I wished they were all dead. Same thing with **Gangs of New York.** ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/351 "2011-11-20T03:15:42Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > I agree. I hated everyone in it so much that within the first ten minutes, I wished they were all dead. Same thing with **Gangs of New York.** Damn you! I’d almost wiped _Gangs of New York_ from my brain, and you pop up to remind me of its vast suckitude. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/352 "2011-11-20T04:35:05Z")
I’m thirding **Paranormal Activity**. It built a little suspense at one point. But, I wasn’t at all frightened, even a little. Glad when the husband took the hit at the end. No anti heroic culpability, just glad that \*somebody \*got punished for the movie. \*\*Man in the Iron Mask-\*\*How can you make a movie with Gabriel Byrne, Gerard DePardieu, Jeremy Irons, JOHN MALKOVICH, for goodness’ sake, and Leo DiCaprio suck so bad? By releasing it. Let’s see…Oh, yes, **The American**. And **Syriana**. I guess George’s political movies kinda eat, don’t they? Oh, and every (three or four) \*\*Les Miserables \*\*that I’ve ever seen. I guess a good version can’t be done. hh ---
**Author:** ![Aeris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Aeris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeris)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/353 "2011-11-21T14:33:52Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > \*\*Les Miserables \*\*that I’ve ever seen. I guess a good version can’t be done. > hh Have you seen the stage version? Or are you simply referring to the film version? ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/354 "2011-11-24T18:34:07Z")
Dead Man Walking w/ Sean Penn, [del]supposedly a ‘great movie’[/del] definitely a huge steaming pile of dung and a waste of time, talent and money. :mad: Not a recent movie but ‘hands down’ the the most blatant anti-death penalty movie ever produced. I got ‘suckered’ into seeing it by my (at the time) girlfriend. I was so disgusted with the movie that I very loudly proclaimed it to be a total piece of shit, as the end credits were starting. (Totally embarrassed my GF.) She was real careful about what movie she drug me to see after that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/355 "2011-11-24T23:28:39Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > Dead Man Walking w/ Sean Penn, [del]supposedly a ‘great movie’[/del] definitely a huge steaming pile of dung and a waste of time, talent and money. :mad: > Not a recent movie but ‘hands down’ the the most blatant anti-death penalty movie ever produced. > I got ‘suckered’ into seeing it by my (at the time) girlfriend. I was so disgusted with the movie that I very loudly proclaimed it to be a total piece of shit, as the end credits were starting. (Totally embarrassed my GF.) She was real careful about what movie she drug me to see after that. 😉 Have you seen _the Life of David Gale_? I will let you search for spoilers if you choose, but the anti-death penalty theme in that one is a bit more blatant and messed up. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/356 "2011-11-25T12:15:16Z")
> [@stegon66](#): > > Hey, Babe: Pig in the City was BETTER than the first one! Seriously. This has to be a whoosh. The original was one of the few movies I consider to be perfect. The sequel was a travesty. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/357 "2011-11-25T13:55:39Z")
Forgive me if these have been mentioned – I agree with an awful lot of the ones that have been brought up already. **Horton Hears a Who** – the CGI was perfect and it has an all-star cast, but the film is intolerably padded. Pepper Mill fell asleep. **The Phantom of the Opera** – no, not the recent adaptation of the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical (I loved that, except for Gerard Butler – who told him he could sing?), but the original silent version, when it was released with music by Rick Wakeman. I love Wakeman, and one of my pet unrealized projects was to take a good copy of Phantom and apply my own score, because I hadn’t found any copies with decent scoring. Wakeman was going to be included, because his piece _Judas Iscariot_ from _Rick Wakeman’s Criminal Album_ sounds like the work of a psychotic organist. So when I heard he was doing the score, I absolutely had to see it. The film, a restored version with the color parts in, was gorgeous, but the music was unlistenable. **The Day the Earth Stood Still** – the recent Keanu Reeves remake. Not only was the script unbelievably stupid (a real insult to the original, which was one of the best science fiction films ever made), but the CGI giant robot Gort was _less_ convincing than Lock Martin in his leather Gort suit. Unforgiveable. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/358 "2011-11-25T15:01:15Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > \*\*Man in the Iron Mask-\*\*How can you make a movie with Gabriel Byrne, Gerard DePardieu, Jeremy Irons, JOHN MALKOVICH, for goodness’ sake, and Leo DiCaprio suck so bad? Since you probably haven’t seen it since, and he wasn’t yet famous, you maybe missed that Malkovich’s son – the one sent to the front to die – is played by young Peter Sarsgaard, his voice quavering as per a spot-on John Malkovich impression. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/359 "2011-11-25T15:48:53Z")
Independence Day and Avatar in that order. I almost walked out of Independence Day. ---
**Author:** ![Hodge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196/360 "2011-11-25T16:11:58Z")
> [@stegon66](#): > > Hey, Babe: Pig in the City was BETTER than the first one! Seriously. > [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > This has to be a whoosh. The original was one of the few movies I consider to be perfect. The sequel was a travesty. I consider BOTH Babe movies to be near-masterpieces in their own unique ways. And I think the wildly contrasting tones of the 2 movies enhance rather than detract from each other. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-didnt-expect-to-suck-so-bad/574196.md?page=19)