# Movies you just \*KNOW\* are going to suck **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054 "2000-09-05T05:42:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/1 "2000-09-05T05:42:13Z")
For example: _Just Duet_. “Ooh! I know! Let’s make a movie about karaoke! Everyone loves karaoke! We’ll bring in an aging rock star to sing with some PYT that can carry a tune…I know! Huey Lewis! and…Gwyneth Paltrow!” That movie has “SUCK” written all over it. Others? ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/2 "2000-09-05T06:00:02Z")
_Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000_ As if the world needed another Dracula remake. As if the world needed another Wes Craven film (sorry folks, but he sold out the entire horror genre years ago). Now add “pop-superstar” Vitamin-C, underachiever of the century Omar Epps, Star Trek franchise-killer Jeri Ryan, and aging also-ran Christopher Plummer and you have yourself the formula for one of the worst films yet in 2000. ---
**Author:** ![JosephFinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3bc359/32.png) [@JosephFinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JosephFinn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/3 "2000-09-05T06:26:21Z")
_Bring It On_ I knew it would suck. I knew the dialogue would be cheesy. I knew Dunst and Bashku would be ashamed. That being said, the guy who plays the choreographer is FUCKING FUNNY. Worth paying the money to see his 10 minutes. Christ, what a classic scene. I didn’t even have the benefit of having a cheerleader fetish… I blame the whole experience on the love of my life… Then again, I just enjoyed the experience of _Jack Frost_ ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/4 "2000-09-05T06:51:43Z")
**JosephFinn** , you beat me to it. 😃 But, some other movies that I know are going to suck; **Jason X: Friday the 13th Part 10** : Is there anyway this one couldn’t suck? I’ve seen the production pictures and checked out the official web page. It’s Jason in space, for crying out loud! It didn’t work with **Leprechaun 3** , it isn’t going to work now. **H2K: Evil Never Dies** : Okay, I enjoy horror movies. Halloween started the slasher movies, and the series is somewhat enjoyable. Though it gets pretty bad near the end. But _Halloween 8_?!? It looked like Myers was pretty far gone when Jamie Lee Curtis cut his head off in 7. But, like any horror series, he’s coming back. This time two detectives are trying to find him, because Curtis’s character has been killed at the beginning of the film (by Myer? maybe). _sigh_ The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie **All American Massacre** though that will definitely suck. Did you see _Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation_? 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/5 "2000-09-05T08:15:19Z")
I just saw ‘Highlander: Endgame’. I knew it was going to suck. I just didn’t know how bad. Awful, awful,awful. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/6 "2000-09-05T08:19:52Z")
Anybody remember _GI Jane_? _Alien: Resurrection_? _Titanic_? _Blair Witch Project_? All movies I knew would suck 'fore they came out… and three of which I had an opportunity to go see, for free, with someone else offering to drive, and I declined 'cuz I knew it would suck (ten SPOOFE points to whoever can guess which three!). ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/7 "2000-09-05T08:40:58Z")
I saw the trailer for “Bring It On” in the theater, and I just knew it would suck. Because it seemed to be so overwhelmingly formulaic, I e-mailed Roger Ebert with my best guess as to the ending. I was wrong, but at least I got an e-mail from the man himself telling me so. I also saw the suckiness of “Coyote Ugly” coming from a bazillion miles away. ---
**Author:** ![EnochF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/779978/32.png) [@EnochF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnochF)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/8 "2000-09-05T08:41:32Z")
Pardon me while I go into Lewis Black mode for a minute here. Movies I just know are going to suck? _ **ALL OF THEM!** _ Have you seen the crap they’re making this year? I thought nothing could be worse than _Supernova_. Then I saw commercials for _Big Momma’s House_. I thought nothing could be worse than _Big Momma’s House_. Then I saw commercials for _Nutty Professor II: The Klumps!_ What’s coming up next? Nurse Betty: Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock in a road picture? What random number generator came up with this bit of dream-casting? The Watcher: Keanu as an emotionless serial killer? Shouldn’t be any worse than Keanu as an emotionless virtual reality chosen one or Keanu as an emotionless Shakespearean Spaniard or Keanu as an emotionless businessman who sells his soul to the devil… The Way of the Gun: Why must they continue making this movie?! They’ve been making it four times a year since 1994! And they just keep getting worse! Remember _Out of Sight_? Remember _The Big Hit_? Neither do I! Urban Legends: The Final Cut: Grrr, so it’s a horror movie about something going horribly wrong with the filming of a horror movie based on a _previous horror movie!_ Remember the Titans: In Hollywood these days every movie has an inferior copycat version that comes out the same year. But why, oh, why must _Any Given Sunday_ have one?! The Crow: Salvation: He’s dead. Give it up! Digimon: The Movie: Gotta rip 'em off, gotta rip 'em off! Get Carter: Starring Sylvester Stallone and Michael Caine! Just _shoot me now!_ Blair Witch 2: I could get a better movie by accidentally leaving my camcorder outside overnight! Charlie’s Angels: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Starring Jim Carrey! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Rugrats in Paris: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! 102 Dalmatians: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! \ ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/9 "2000-09-05T13:59:08Z")
I’ve discovered the simplest way to determine if a movie is going to suck is by looking at the trailers. If the names of the people on the soundtrack get more prominence than anyone else, it’s a sure sign of a bad movie. ---
**Author:** ![bafaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@bafaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bafaa)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/10 "2000-09-05T17:12:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > \*\*I just saw ‘Highlander: Endgame’. I knew it was going to suck. > > I just didn’t know how bad. Awful, awful,awful. \*\* AMEN! ---
**Author:** ![bafaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@bafaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bafaa)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/11 "2000-09-05T17:26:50Z")
Let me be the first to mention _Battlefield Earth_. Can’t be THAT bad I thought. Well, it was and then some. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/12 "2000-09-05T17:31:48Z")
If Keanu Reeves is, in any way, associated with the film, or has ever been associated with anyone who is remotely associated with the film, I know that it will be be just plain bad. It will reach the epitome of suck. The device has yet to be invented that can truly measure how bad he and his movies are. ---
**Author:** ![Samonek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@Samonek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Samonek)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/13 "2000-09-05T17:52:38Z")
EnochF, nice run down on the dreck coming this fall. But I gotta disagree with you on Nurse Betty. I think this movie is going to suprise a lot of people. It’s directed by Neil LaBute and every review I’ve heard has just creamed over it. But as for the rest. Yikes. Mike (Who’s also looking forward to Little Nicky, so take my opinions with a grain of salt) ---
**Author:** ![boli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e99b99/32.png) [@boli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boli)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/14 "2000-09-05T18:35:51Z")
**Autumn in New York** I hate everything about this movie, and I’ve never even seen it. I hate the cheesy commercials they had playing every two minutes on every TV station. I hate Winona Ryder’s cutesy, coy delivery of every line. I hate that Richard Gere gets paired with younger women in every movie he’s in. I hate that you know she’s going to die before you even pay the price of admission. I think I hate this movie more than any other movie I’ve never seen. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/15 "2000-09-05T19:58:34Z")
[pointless hijack] _Digimon: The Movie: Gotta rip 'em off, gotta rip 'em off!_ **Things you find out when you spend a weekend associating with six children under 12 and their parents** : Digimon debuted in Japan several years before Pokemon. [/pointless hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/16 "2000-09-05T21:01:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EnochF \* > \*\*Pardon me while I go into Lewis Black mode for a minute here. Movies I just know are going to suck? _ALL OF THEM!_ Have you seen the crap they’re making this year? \*\* I’ll agree that this year has been pretty dismal, especially compared to last year, but I do think that \*Chicken Run \* alone has made this year worthwhile. 😃 > [@](#): > > \*\*What’s coming up next? > > Nurse Betty: Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock in a road picture? What random number generator came up with this bit of dream-casting? \*\* It sounds good to me, but I’m also a big fan of Neil Labute so I have to say that this is one I’m looking forward to. > [@](#): > > \*\* > > Remember _Out of Sight_? … Neither do I!\*\* [hijack] [Waves hand] I do I do! I thought it was one of the best movies of 1998. I was shocked, because I didn’t expect that much from a George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez movie, but amazingly, they both found the perfect parts with the perfect script and the perfect director, and rose to the occasion. Being based on an Elmore Leonard novel helped, as did the supporting cast of Ving Rhames, Steve Zahn, Don Cheadle, Dennis Farina, Albert Brooks, Catherine Keener, Michael Keaton, Luis Guzman, Nancy Allen and Samuel L. Jackson (among others). [/highjack] ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/17 "2000-09-05T22:08:01Z")
All taken from [The Hollywood Stock Exchange](http://www.hsx.com) website. **Grease 3:** Rumors abound that Britney Spears may join someone from 'NSYNC to play in another installment of Grease. The story for part three would focus on the lives of the children of the characters originally played by Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta… **Dirty Dancing 2:** Pop sensation Ricky Martin and Star Wars heroine Natalie Portman are being considered to star in the sequel of the mega-hit Dirty Dancing…The new version – set in hot and trendy South Beach – will have a Latin twist… **Dumb and Dumber 2:** The sequel to the 1994 comedy Dumb and Dumber. It is rumored that this will be a prequel to the earlier movie and will feature the misadventures of teenagers Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne. (Screenwriters: Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park) I’m sure I’ll find more later. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/18 "2000-09-05T22:18:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \* > **Star Trek franchise-killer Jeri Ryan** Ouch! I actually consider her as saving Voyager. Not only is she eye-candy, but she is also the only interesting character left. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/19 "2000-09-06T00:06:04Z")
Even though I am not influenced by critics’ opinions, any movie that isn’t screened for critics will usually suck on toast. See the Richard Gere/Wynonna Ryder flick. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054/20 "2000-09-06T01:48:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xizor \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by JDeMobray \* > > **Star Trek franchise-killer Jeri Ryan** > > Ouch! I actually consider her as saving Voyager. Not only is she eye-candy, but she is also the only interesting character left. \*\* Of course she’s the only interesting character left. SHE’S BOINKING THE DAMN PRODUCER!!! Not that I really imagine the writers are in there pitching great Chakotay episodes or anything, but come on. Add to that the fact that she can’t even sell the friggin’ Rock Bottom right (‘Jerri, after he drops you just lie there like a slug for a few seconds’). Any episode where Se7en is the main character could, with a few minor tweaks, be either a Doctor episode, a Torres episode, or (for some of the “Janeway is wrong” episodes) a Chakotay episode. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/movies-you-just-know-are-going-to-suck/32054.md?page=2)